"I agree, and I can assure you he isn't. Udina's jockeying for them to hand us the reins... among other things. With the Normandy's stealth drive and Spectre authority - ideally they'll assign a Spectre to assist - we can fit through the cracks they can't. Saren knows he can hide from the Council, maybe even the Spectres. He can't hide from us."

"Permission to say fuck yeah, Captain."

She sends Zanna a rotating holo-image of Saren with a laser dot sight on his forehead. And a fake mustache.

"Denied for the moment. Looks like they're reconvening."

Mercenary Suzanna Shi: fuck yeah

Alright, levity over.

Grim-faced once again, Commander Terentin marches into what is, incredibly, the third Council meeting she's been to today with Anderson and Udina. She's beginning to feel like she should dye her hair grey.

"Commander Terentin," Councillor Tevos says, "please step forward."

Her favorite thing to do.

"It is the decision of the Citadel Council," Tevos says, "that you, Commander Theodora Ndikima Terentin, be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel government."

     "Spectres are not trained, but chosen," Valern recites. "Individuals whose service to the galaxy has proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are worthy of the position given to them."

Tevos clasps her hands behind her back. "Spectres are an ideal. A symbol. They embody wisdom, cunning, courage, and determination. They are the right hand of the Council: the instrument of our will."

          "Spectres bear a heavy burden," Sparatus says, clearly not enjoying himself. "They keep the galactic peace. They are our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."

"You are the first human to be granted this honor, Commander. This is an accomplishment not just for you, but for your entire species." Tevos is not quite smirking. "Your first mission will be to apprehend ex-Spectre Saren Arterius."

She salutes smoothly. "Thank you for your recognition. I won't fail." Inside Terentin is cascading, overflowing, breaking banks. There's external validation and then there's this. Is she even in the military anymore? The Citadel swoops out from under her, she's base-jumping like she used to on leave back in school. "Shall I begin immediately?"

     Valern nods. "We'll forward you the dossier on Saren. And we'll contact you with any further developments. This meeting of the Council is adjourned."

Udina follows Teddy out. "Fuck," he says explosively once they've reached the viewing gallery.

Beeline to Morty. Up. He's up in the air.

"Aaah! Wow, cool, I just got tossed by the first human Spectre!"

"- absolute fucking disaster - Terentin are you listening -"

"Give the girl a break, Donnel, it's good news."

"Anderson, you're a moron."

"Sorry, Ambassador," she says, lying, mid-high-five with Zanna. "Was that not a victory swear? Did you need to be a pessimist at me?" She beelines back over to him. Something about her is filling the room, pressing up against the walls even though CItadel architecture isn't exactly claustrophobic. "Explain the hideous political reality, I'm ready."

"Thank you. First of all, congratulations. Second of all, fuck. Tevos is screwing us so subtly and so profoundly I wouldn't believe it if I didn't just see it. What we wanted was carte blanche and a Spectre assigned to the case to collaborate with. We got it. Unfortunately, you're not a Spectre." He holds up a hand. "Yes, you are. But you're not a Spectre. You don't have contacts. You don't have clout. For god's sake, you don't have a crew, we're going to be kicking someone off an existing ship! They're giving us zero support. If you expect a dossier with more than 'we think he went that way' on it, you're wrong. They want us to spend a week searching the entire Goddamn galaxy, then crawl back to them and say that we weren't ready for a human Spectre. And I don't know how we can-"

"This a private pity party?" Warhead asks, muscling in. "Or can just anybody tell you why you're wrong and ugly?"

That all sounds bad, but since the problem he's proposing is 'Teddy isn't as good as X' she doesn't really feel it.

"No, go ahead, Warhead. Might keep it to the 'wrong' part though, let other people have a turn."

"Three words for you, Commander. Check your email."

:P

Just for the drama Teddy opens the message into a hologram for everyone without checking it out first.

She has an email from one "Barla Von".

Spectre Terentin,

Congratulations on your appointment. In the interests of a positive working relationship, my employer would like to remit into your care the following, free of charge:

One (1) HMWSR X class sniper rifle and modular upgrades.

One (1) HMWWP X class heavy pistol and modular upgrades.

One (1) Savant X class omni-tool.

Data regarding the actions and whereabouts of former Spectre Agent Saren Arterius and accomplices, fully indexed (3.27 terabytes).

The remaining time on the contract of Battlemaster Yakhol Warhead, mercenary (326 galactic standard days).

One additional service the nature of which we would prefer not to disclose over unsecured channels.

Our best wishes.

Sincerely,

Barla Von

"Okay, Warhead, no takebacks? I'm probably the worst person in the sector to bribe." She's flicking through the specs on the new guns, skipping over the omni-tool's while Morty's around to make puppy eyes at it. "Not that I'm not saying yes–" the rifle disassembles explosively into its orange-light components, then rushes back, "–but I don't do favors. This isn't leverage."

Terentin is now seated on some kind of potted lichen, cross-legged. "Not that you're in charge of any of this. I guess technically you're employed by the Council for now? Ha. But, you know, pass it along when you get the chance. Open to but immune to bribing." The Saren data gets sent to Udina, Anderson, Sal, and Garrus, in color-coded data folders. (Gunmetal with pink, black and gold, highlighter-yellow, and neon purple, respectively.)

"Hah. This isn't a bribe, it's an investment in Saren's untimely death. If you do end up a little more favorably disposed towards the Broker, that's a bonus."

"I'm totally bribeable, if anybody wants to give me a Savant X. - for, like, non-reprehensible things. Please don't try to bribe me with a Savant X to kill Commander Terentin or something, that would make me sad."