:I don't know. I want to - be able to like it here: 

:Do you want to go sit in the garden?:

He considers it for a moment. It does seem better, to have open sky around him, he thinks he would feel less trapped even if there's almost no real difference. :Yes:

"Mama we're going to go sit in the garden excuse us," says Aza, and she clears Ma'ar's dish too and goes out back, gesturing him after her.

The garden has some flat-topped rocks to sit on and vegetables and a pear tree and flowers.

Ma'ar sits down on a rock and hugs his knees to his chest. Looks around. "It's pretty," he says, in a mostly normal voice. 

"Yeah, Mama likes flowers." She should probably not speculate about him like a patient, he isn't her patient.

"What else does she like?" Maybe understanding more things about Ranara will help her feel more predictable to him even when he can't read her mind. 

"She likes teaching little kids - like half our age, or smaller - how to read and count and stuff. And she likes meeting people from far away but you're very jumpy so she hasn't been asking you all about Predain.

I read some books about Predain from the library the other day." She isn't sure that's wise to mention but oh well.

"Huh." Of course there are books about Predain, he reminds himself, this shouldn't actually be surprising; there are books about all sorts of things and lots of people in Predain know how to read and write. "Why?"

"I don't know much about it and you act like you have been very scary places and I wanted to know if Predain was very scary. It did sound kind of scary."

He nods. Fidgets. "...How do I stop acting like I've been in scary places? I think maybe that's why the bullies think it's funny to scare me, but - I don't really know what I'm doing that other people don't do, I can't see it from the outside." 

"Well, the carrying a knife, and the - looking around at everything all the time."

He gives her a blank look. "Doesn't everyone look around at things." 

"Yes, but you look like you expect everything you see to attack you."

"I don't expect everything to attack me all the time, that'd be -" he spends a moment lost for words, "- that'd be too much work for anyone to bother. But..." He shivers, shoulders tensing. "Lots of times I wasn't careful enough." 

"This is the sort of thing my teacher Lionwind talks to people about for his Mindhealing job actually but I'm not supposed to see patients yet."

"Oh." Ma'ar isn't really sure what to do with that. "Aza, you're - pretty sure it's not as dangerous here, right." 

"Not as dangerous as Predain! And you can go to people for help if anything happens, which is important."

"Go to who? And what would they do?" He sounds dubious of the entire concept. 

"To the hertasi, or the guards, or a teacher, depending on the problem? You could have gone and gotten another plate in the dining hall when someone milked yours, and could have asked for a room on your own when your roommates weren't friendly before they forced the issue..." What does he think those people are all there for, they aren't furniture.

The look he gives her clearly indicates that this concept isn't really coming together for him. "I guess," he says, sounding dubious. "The hertasi are- I'm getting used to them. The guards..." 

(Are terrifying, especially since many of them have magic to shield them against Thoughtsensing and so he has no idea what they might be thinking about doing to him.)

She sighs. "So you're scared of everything because you're scared of everything so it's too scary to - have options besides being scared of everything."

Trying to follow that makes Ma'ar's head hurt. He shrugs. "I'll - try to be less scared. If you think that...wouldn't be stupid, here." 

"Well, you are getting picked on a lot. But I don't think anyone will stab you!" As Ma'ar has surely noticed it's not even customary to carry stabbing implements!

"Mmm." He...pretty much believes her, at this point. If only because it matches his impression from minds he read. This doesn't really help him feel more relaxed, though.