smol bell in urtho's tower
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Lionwind nods, thoughtfully. "It sounds as though there are several layers to unpack there! ...I would ask you if he seems to still be upset about it, but given - everything I know about him - I doubt you would be able to tell, so. Did you get a sense of how much he was bothered by - being touched in itself, separate from how you prioritized what to hug him about?" 

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"He was startled but he said it was fine and that he liked it."

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"Mmhmm. Do you have a guess about why he brought up the caravan guards this time, when he did not do so before even when much more directly asked about it?"

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"No, I don't. I guess he sounded like he didn't totally remember that he hadn't already told me till he did tell me?"

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"Hmm. My guess is that he trusts you more, or feels more that you are a friend, now than he did then? ...Also it sounds a little to me as though it were some sort of - conversational counterattack, where he felt defensive and was perhaps on some level bringing it up because he thought it would be upsetting? I am not sure, though, that is very speculative and probably not the most important aspect of this anyway." 

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"I don't think he did it to upset me? But he might have done it to, I don't know, try to make me seem inconsistent..."

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"Yes, that would fit." Sigh. "I am sorry - this all sounds rather unfortunate and stressful for you, and you were just trying to be friendly and help. ...You know, though, his thinking here does not surprise me, given the other things you have said to me about him. If you consider it now, does it make sense why he would have his emotions set up this way?" 

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"Kind of? It's not surprising in retrospect."

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"It sounds to me as though he did not intend to cause you to feel defensive, and was surprised and sorry about this part - which fits, too, modeling the emotions of others is a skill that many people your age have not yet acquired. And - I imagine for him it is protective, deciding not to be more devastated by the loss of family than by other more distant wrongs in the world. Since he has no family left, right, at least in his mind he has no one and is on his own." 

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"Yeah, I can see why he'd want to be set up that way, just..."

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"It bothers you?" 

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"I don't really feel like I have a right to be bothered about it? But it's strange and makes him harder to figure out and it makes it harder for him to figure other people out."

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"Yes, I can understand that. Are you - wanting to do something about it? Have another conversation with him, explain your impression -?"

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"Maybe? I don't know that I actually have a good explanation for him and he was acting totally normal in class today."

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"It does seem likely that he will be - more able to achieve the goals he cares about in the world, if he can understand other people better? But it also does not seem urgent, and he may well figure it out on his own in time." 

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"Also he was the one to leave yesterday so maybe he just wants to think about it on his own for a bit and then he'll bring it up."

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"So I guess I'll leave it alone for now but if he still hasn't brought it up in a week or starts acting weird or something I will rethink this."

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"That sounds to me like a sensible plan." 

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Nod nod. "Thank you."

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He pats her shoulder. "I would not worry about it too much. Ma'ar is someone who can look out for himself and his own feelings, I think." 

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Ma'ar, indeed, isn't noticeably weird or uncomfortable with her at all during the ensuing week. He doesn't offer himself as a test subject for lie detection again, though. 

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That's okay. She'll crack it without his help. She goes to Lionwind the following week and announces she has the Mindhealing-style lie detection and is going to start working on the Thoughtsensing one.

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"Excellent work! I have made some progress there, I think, but I will not be at all surprised if you crack it before I do, you are such a diligent student." 

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"I might! The trouble is I'm not sure who to practice on. When I was trying it the Mindhealing way the worst case was I'd accidentally see their gears, which isn't very invasive, but with Thoughtsensing it's worse... will the truth checking thing work with their shields up? I'd think probably not except there are different kinds of shields for all the gifts, and people sometimes wind up with Thoughtsensing shields even if they don't have any Gifts of their own, and in Haighlei that would look like... I guess it might just look like some people being better at questioning uncooperative subjects."

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