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Ranara and her little daughter Azabel move to Urtho's Tower when the latter can say six words ("up", "mama", "milk", "no", "now", and "please") and hasn't started to walk yet. Ranara sets up to teach little children to read, ones who don't have evident Gifts yet - Ranara herself has Mindspeech, is all, with about a classroom's worth of range. Azabel sits in on classes, worn on her mother's back or later plopped in a corner with toys or, when she's only four, plopped in a corner with a book, younger than the other kids in the class. When Azabel has in fact sat through her mother's curriculum she is turned somewhat loose, to walk very carefully up and down and around the Tower, exploring.
smol bell in urtho's tower
small-and-alone
:I, uh...: Ma'ar looks SO tense and nervous. :I - guess I wanted to talk to you about, er. About feelings:
small-and-alone
He's glancing around, self-conscious, at the hallway around them. :Can we, er, go somewhere else:
anticipating_night
:...sure. Your room?: Is this the Revenge Of The Subtext. Is she about to have to figure out how to remind him that she hugged him once and it was a whole thing.
small-and-alone
:Uh, sure, that's probably the most convenient: And he walks in that direction, glancing back at Azabel.
small-and-alone
Ma’ar holds his expression level whenever she blinks at him.
And eventually they make it back to his room and he shuts the door.
:I, er - do you remember when we talked about crushes:
anticipating_night
She nods. It IS Revenge Of The Subtext, ahhhh, she does not know what to do with this.
small-and-alone
:I, ummm...: A brief pause. :I - think I might have feelings about you -? But, uh, if you definitely don't have feelings about me, then - you should tell me now, all right? And I'll - decide to stop having the feelings, and we won't have to worry about it ever again...?:
anticipating_night
Well that's a heck of a thing to say. :Um... I think you are making some... assumptions about how my feelings work:
anticipating_night
:Um, that they just sort of exist all by themselves instead of having to do with what's going on and what other people - say and do and think and feel:
small-and-alone
:....I'm suddenly a lot more confused about how - emotions - work, but, uh...: Ma'ar takes a deep breath. :What sort of information do you need upfront from me so you can decide what your emotions are and tell me– uh, I mean, you don't have to tell me, but, you know -:
Ma'ar trails off, intently avoiding Azabel's eyes.
anticipating_night
:That's not really how - uh - is the information 'I am not categorically a no on that forever' enough or do you need more detail -:
small-and-alone
A long pause.
:...That's enough to make it worthwhile to - keep talking about it, er, I mean, if you want to:
Ma'ar tries his best to look into her eyes.
small-and-alone
:I - wait - what wouldn't be fun? You have feelings about me? ...If it wouldn't be fun then why bother?:
Ma'ar is pretty sure that he's still deeply confused about something in this area but he has no idea what.
small-and-alone
Ma'ar is, at this point, even more confused. And slightly gritting his teeth. :Well. I - decided to try to talk to you even though I thought it'd be awkward and not fun and I....: he trails off again.
anticipating_night
:Yeah - sorry, I don't have like - a plan for this conversation and it's uncomfortable and it's making me worse at things:
small-and-alone
Ma'ar glances down, looks sympathetic for a moment. :- I know, I hate not having a plan. Is...there anything I can do to make it less uncomfortable...?:
anticipating_night
:I'll let you know if I think of anything. Um.
I have thought at all about how I seem to be geared, uh, crushwise, and -
- you know how in stories people sometimes, like, pine after people who don't like them back, I don't think I can do that, I think I can so little do that that I also probably can't like people who are only kind of into me or into me for a dumb reason? So like, if you have - only just achieved a relevant developmental stage and in the process noticed that I have eyelashes, or something like that, on top of being generally tolerant of my company, that doesn't really do it for me. The fact that I can't confidently identify you as very much more enthusiastic than 'generally tolerant of my company' is not helping you here and neither is the thing where the one time I hugged you we wound up having a weird stupid fight:
small-and-alone
:....Hmm:
(He wants to say that he agrees pining is usually stupid, but it's not clear if this helps his cause at all, so he holds back. Self-control is important, after all, and not less important than honesty.)
:....I'm - pretty sure that if I do like you that way, it's - not an ambivalent thing? And, er, it's definitely not about your eyelashes. I'm - still just starting to figure out what this whole 'liking' thing even means, and maybe I don't feel that way at all, but - you're the person I trust most in this entire city. And the person I think is the most competent and most virtuous. And - if I died tomorrow - and for some reason before I died I had a chance to lay bets on who would accomplish the most things I cared about over the next century - I'd bet on you:
Ma'ar falls silent, gaze fixed on the floor.
anticipating_night
:Those... would be good reasons if you were sure they caused you to like-like me as opposed to just - approve of me, but -
- they don't exactly indicate that you'd be partial. And I think we can be friends even if you aren't partial but I do not think I can date you if you are not partial:
