What does the danger sense say about sidecars in bikes? Because naively bikes always seemed pretty dangerous to Andrea. He doesn’t want to be rude though.

”Oh uhhh, this is fine, but for future reference you probably want to ask civilians if you should call a regular vehicle to pick them up. It’ll help keep them more at ease if they aren’t a cape fan that wants to ride the bike. If I wasn’t so worn out already, then riding a tiny sidecar on a super bike would give me anxiety. The agoraphobia also would trigger.”

He gets in the sidecar. “But I can’t actually feel any worse right now so it’s fine.” Unless the danger sense says otherwise. He provisionally trusts the danger sense.

The danger sense seems to think that Armsmaster's sidecar is actually much safer than other nearby locations.

"Calling for another vehicle would take another thirteen minutes," he informs Andrea. "But do not worry. My motorcycle has passed all relevant safety inspections."

He positions himself astride the motorcycle and hands Andrea a terrifyingly minimalist helmet to go along with the sidecar.

"And the passenger protection system uses state of the art tinkertech developed by Dragon," he elaborates, since Andrea is a cape fan. And containment foam genuinely is much safer than airbags, as well as doubling as an anti-theft device and emergency grenade refill.

“Fear isn’t always rational, sir. Even if most people are dumb, accomodating minor things like that leaves a better impression.” Armsmaster feels like the kind of guy who likes being called sir by those who are younger. Wich is itself a dumb thing you go along with to make interactions easier. 

“I know it’s probably safer than an armoured van.” Danger sense thinks its safe too. “But if I wasn’t so emotionally drained, my stupid monkey brain would still be worried.” What is he even doing? Trying to fix armsmaster when he barely knows the guy, its so weird and kinda parasocial to know so much about this guy but having just met him.

”Sorry, I should probably just shut up and let you drive, my brain is fried.” Shutting up is a good idea, before Andrea says something stupid, like revealing something he shouldn’t know.

Armsmaster is silent as the motorcycle spins up and moves out into traffic.

"I will take that under advisement," he eventually responds. His voice comes through a speaker in the helmet, because even though his motorcycle doesn't waste energy on producing excess noise, the traffic around them is comprised of normal internal combustion engines.

It would cause a lot of different potential outcomes if he pressed that red button and then jumped into traffic.

On a related note, a street full of cars is actually pretty dangerous — but the danger level of the buildings that they are passing is slowly going down for some reason.

They are getting closer to either PRT HQ or the Protectorate base. He forgets wich one Armsmaster said they were going to. That’d make areas safer.

Yeah lets ignore the chaos effects sense and randomization sense when it’s something dangerous. Andrea is more going to rely on it for pathing decisions when walking, or use it as a mental coinflip when being indecisive. Jumping out of the bike is stupid. Maybe now he knows what people who talk about intrusive thoughts about risky behaviour feel like.

He sits in the bike in silence, already exhausted, and knowing he will probably have to deal with even more tiring bureaucracy when they get there,

The ride is not much longer, in any case. Armsmaster pulls out of traffic and into an underground garage, where he has a designated parking space and a Trooper waiting.

The Trooper has an all-concealing black mask, but his faceplate is flipped up to reveal a welcoming smile.

"Welcome to America," he says, stepping forward as the bike comes to a halt.

"Trooper Barret can guide you from here. Please inform him immediately if you develop a headache," Armsmaster adds, gesturing for Andrea to return the helmet.

Trooper Barret's smile freezes in place for a moment.

"... yes, as Armsmaster said, I'm Daniel Barret, but you can call me Dan. What's your name?"

Ugh, new people, but probably easier to deal with than Colin. Andrea gives the helmet back and gets out, addressing new guy.

“Bro I already have a headache, I hyperventilated hard enough to pass out just a while ago. The adrenaline crash is making me want to puke. Everything hurts.” So Armsmaster is still convinced Andreas a cape. And maybe he is, but it’s fucking rude to out that like that even if he is. Definitely not having Thinker headaches though, Andrea is very familiar with migraine pain and none of that is happening.

“I’m Andrea. Andrea Valentini if my last name even matters anymore. It’s not like I have any family on Bet.” He doesn’t know if they briefed this guy so better get his not localness out there already.

"Right. Let's get you some water and the first set of forms, and then the rest can wait until you're feeling better."

Trooper Barret leads Andrea through a set of twisty little beige corridors, all alike. The inside of the P.R.T. building is relaxingly safe, and the trip eventually ends in a plain little conference room with a stack of papers waiting on the table.

"I'll go get some water. Take your time with these; there's no rush. If you don't know something, leave it blank. Alright?"

Andrea now has a choice, does he lie on the forms about his age. If he does reveal he has powers, does he want to be stuck as a ward or not. You know what, in almost all cases minors get treated like shit, he is going to lie and say he is 19. Huh… he doesn't know what year it is in setting, so how far back should he even put his date of birth…

Oh, the forms need to be dated and signed. That’s an excuse to find out what the date is without being weird. When Barret gets back he asks. “Hey, what’s the date again? The last couple of months have been kind of a blur.” That’s normal to ask, he always forgot the date normally.

Barret sets the water on the conference table.

"Today is Monday, the 22nd of February, 2011."

That’s… before canon right? Before Skitters debut? He thinks? It’s been too long since Andrea read canon but he vaguely feels like most fanfic also started a little later in the year.

Wait, power thingy, can he get retroactive better recall? That would make any plans to butterfly effect changes to the timeline way easier.

He chugs his water, fills out his forms, lies about his age making himself 19 instead of 17. It’s relatively believable physically, he ended up tall in the recent growth spurt. Then they let him take a nap in a trooper cot before he fills out even more forms, this time with who was probably some kind of immigration officer. Finally the paperwork is over.

No, he can't get retroactive better recall right now. He's too full. He needs to either merge the two precog-defying sparks or dismiss one of the sparks to make room.

Ah shit, he’s discount eidolon. Would merging the RNG machine and consequence sense keep functionality? If so, merge that and please give me better recall. Andrea would like to remember Worm better, also to help make sure he’s not confusing fanon with canon. Otherwise drop location danger sense, it’s not as urgent now.

Now all the immigration paperwork is done he is just waiting in a little room. The reality of his situation outside of the future knowledge and cape drama hits him. How will he get a job with no references or proof of education? Where will he live? America has basically no social safety net and no socialised healthcare. He is pretty sure Obama isn’t even president on Bet and Obamacare never happened. It’s relatively easy to not starve to death because food is way cheaper and food banks exist but god damn is living in America way more risky, add in the ridiculous levels of gang violence and cape fights and living here is going to suck.

The source of randomness and the consequence sense snap together like magnets, merging to form a brighter spark. And, indeed, no functionality seems to be lost. If anything, his sense of consequences seems to have become ... sharper, perhaps, or accounting for more probabilities.

If he invents a conlang to pretend to be fluent in this will have diverse effects.

A fourth spark blooms in his chest, and with it his memory of the things he's read about Worm sharpen, leaping to mind with much greater ease. In fact —

Oh shit, something Andrea remembers from fanfic, and he assumes the author got the date correct. Then he searches for references in the story itself and remembers a list of endbringer attacks from later on in the story and yep that date was correct. The Simurgh attack on Canberra happens in two days on the 24th, maybe less due to timezones. Australia is like 8 hours ahead of gmt right? 

Well, he can’t keep his powers a secret now, letting Canberra be quarantined just to maintain some anonymity and some better ability to influence the timeline is not something Andrea can do. Maybe if he was colder he could let a city die for a better chance to save the whole world but he simply cannot do that.

He gets up, and starts doing every action he can in this room to muddy the future sight of precogs, he lets RNGeesus take the wheel.

As he steps randomly around the room or does weird poses or moves the chairs around the room, he loudly calls for whatever trooper is outside the door. “HEY GUYS! SORRY FOR HIDING THIS BUT I’M A THINKER AND I NEED TO TALK TO ARMSMASTER AND MISS MILITIA AND DRAGON LIKE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW IT IS SUPER URGENT! LIKE HOLY SHIT THEY NEED TO BE HERE AN HOUR AGO! FATE OF MILLIONS KINDA STUFF! IM GONNA BE DOING WEIRD STUFF IN THIS ROOM AND THATS JUST A POWER THING OKAY DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT JUST GET THEM HERE! THANK YOU!”

Uh.

Well, there is in fact a code for this, because the P.R.T. is that kind of workplace. Trooper Hammonds radios it in and then opens the door.

"Hey — I've called that in to dispatch, but are you ..."

She watches Andrea move erratically for a moment. It's kind of hypnotizing to watch.

"Do you need those three specifically, and can you say why? It's not that we don't believe you —" because Armsmaster was pretty sure you were a Thinker "— but why now? And what's up with your, um."

She gestures at him.

“Ah fuck I don’t know if this will tip her off or not, but whatever I WILL BE EXTRA RANDOM TO MAKE UP FOR IT.” He yells the last part, randomly. “ANTI SIMURGH PRECOG MEASURES! Butterfly effects! WICH IS WHY I NEED THEM HERE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW BECAUSE I KNOW THE NEXT TARGET! HURRY! ALSO UHHH TRY TO DO SLIGHTLY RANDOM OUT OF CHARACTER THINGS FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS TO INFLUENCE OTHER PEOPLE, IT MIGHT MAYBE HELP! I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA BUT IT CAN’T HURT!”

Knock on effects of RNGeesus from other people affected by him should still be effective right?

He makes sure to put one of the chairs outside in the hallway, for some reason that feels like it will have big consequences. Maybe someone will take another path because of it. Or trip on it. RNGeesus works in mysterious ways.

Trooper Hammonds does not have fancy probability theory training, but she does have basic common sense.

The number of Thinkers who can correctly predict the Simurgh: 0
The number of crazy people who think they can predict the Simurgh: several

"Okay, take a deep breath," she instructs, holding out her arms in a pacifying gesture. "Let's not take chances with tipping off the Simurgh to whatever it is you think you've figured out. Let's take a minute to think through a reasonable response first, and then we can see about calling Dragon."

Because Dragon always seems to have time for these sorts of things, and Armsmaster will be mad if Trooper Hammonds wastes his time.

“Bro you do not understand my thinker bullshit, it is the MOST BULLSHIT! Unique levels of cape bullshit! So call Colin and Hannah and Theresa fucking Richter right the fuck now!” Name dropping secret identities to get attention was a dick move, but letting Canberra die was a dicker move. “Tell Colin to bring his lie detector so he knows I’m telling the truth, and that his nanothorns will injure but not kill an endbringer. Also tell Hannah I also know what the two creatures in space from her trigger vision are.” 

“The Ziz is the precog to end all precogs, as soon as I planned on telling someone she might have already known, depends if she is paying attention. I don’t thiiiink she has infinite attention. So I need to muddy up the future as much as possible. This isn’t being crazy, this is power bullshit.” And the table is now getting pushed into the corner, why? Who knows, but it’ll do something, maybe throw someone off their game.

”Dragon are you listening through the security cameras? Did a keyword get flagged or something? Because seriously you are probably the person who could do the most with this knowledge. The other two are just backups.”

Trooper Hammonds isn't actually cleared for Cape identities. But that seems likely to change soon, one way or the other.

"Dispatch? I think we have a situation," she mutters into her radio.