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Mordred says that Lev is supposed to go off his medications and tell Mordred if he's not feeling well and needs to taper down more slowly.
Obviously, the thing this means is that Lev is supposed to taper down as quickly as possible and hide the tremors and headaches and sweating and light hypersensitivity from Mordred so that he isn't upset by them.
Lev manages to do this for almost two days.
It is so weird and so good how involved Lev is. He is used to sex being much more one-sided than that.
Oswald is simultaneously going "I have a confusing ball of emotions about this" and "this is nice."
He has not previously paid this much attention to what is going on during sex. Certainly in the past there were lots of pervasive themes but he wasn't particularly registering the meaning of any particular act in the moment
When the unpleasant and degrading acts are over Lev seems to believe that it is time for cuddles without him necessarily getting much directly out of this act.
Oswald is lying next to him having similar thoughts.
He experienced all of that! And he wanted to!
"Oh no, I'm really glad. Why wouldn't it be unexpectedly great when sex is good all the way through?"
"Oh, I think people want to believe that sex with them is always good all the way through, so they are insulted when you imply that you might have suspected it wouldn't be. Even though sex is usually terrible."
"Sometimes it's scary when it turns out they didn't think it was good but I don't get insulted. --You aren't scary about it. In case you were worried."
The next day--
Oswald is confused because they were having sex, and then they stopped having sex and inasmuch as he was paying attention the timing on that is kinda weird. That particular confusion where you weren't paying any attention to your body and then your body reported something weird and dragged you back in to keep an eye on things.
"Uh, sorry, can we. Um. Stop. You were kind of out of it and --I can keep going if you want me to."
Oswald is going to be mad.
"Oh, uh, sorry, that happens. Um. Either way? Is fine? I, uh, I didn't mean to, it just -- um, was it not, did I not--"
"No, you didn't do anything wrong I'm just. Weird. I like sex in very specific circumstances. Really specific narrow circumstances."
"No it's fine, I'll just, uh, I can try harder to be with it-- it's not like I don't prefer being present and aware for this--"
"..........does that work. --I mean I can keep having sex with you even if you're... not present."
"If you want, I mean, I, it's not like, what, it's not like it's exactly a hardship, I'm not, I don't, either way, it's fine--"
Have they considered whether he needs to be present for this conversation. No wait he wants stop doing that.
"I don't............... dislike it. ................................ What if we just. Hung out for a while."
Two nights before they leave New York, after their reading time, Lev gives in and asks Mordred:
"I'm sorry I'm very confused but I don't understand... what you want from me?"
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