<Hmm. Who would you want to send...?>

Sigh. :Matirin is probably not going to be happy about risking both of us at once, but - it should almost certainly be me. I have the best morph control of any of my people, and also by far the most skill with mage-work, particularly with compulsions. None of the Andalites have much practice with Gifts at all: 

Mhalir is silent for ten seconds or so, thinking. 

<That is a solid argument for sending you> he admits. <And - the two of us do work very well together, I think. I will consider it> 

And Leareth catches up with Cayaldwin. :I have Mhalir under all the usual precautions. Would you like me to hand him over now?: 

He holds out his hand for him. He has put on a glove. 

Mhalir isn't offended about this. He kind of agrees that Yeerks in their own bodies are gross. 

...Gods, he missed Cayaldwin's brain. Well, not the gaping pit of grief, but all the rest. 

<It has been some time since we caught up. Have you been making progress?> His thoughts to Cayaldwin are faintly affectionate. 

<Yes, I have.> He doesn't feel affectionate, exactly, but it is good that Mhalir knows about his father, it's better than a world where Cayaldwin is the only person who could understand, and it is exhilarating being productive.

It is exhilarating. Cayaldwin is so brilliant and focused and curious and trying so, so hard to build something - and he wishes he could have been in Cayaldwin's father's head, just once would have been enough, and he never will, he's never, ever going to know more than the echoed memory of him. Somehow that lost opportunity, and reminding himself to multiply it by however many thousands of lives lost, makes the cost of the war sink in so much deeper than it did before. 

Mhalir doesn't voice any of those thoughts. What would be the point. Instead he can get caught up on everything Cayaldwin has been working on in his absence, bounce back his own reactions and thoughts and insights, and they can do MATH nonstop until late that night, at which point he again nudges Cayaldwin, points out that they're slowing down and will get more traction in the morning if he sleeps. 

Sure, fine. 

He heads off to the herd of Andalites, which is bigger now, and steers away from his not-half-cousins who his father HATED and so who he will diligently hate on his father's behalf, and finds a spot and slips in and feels safe and almost content, even though actually everything good in the world is DEAD.

Mhalir basks in all of the experiences, even the hate - it's not a pleasant emotion and it's not one he can approve of but Yeerks are kind of wired to find almost all emotions and conscious experiences fascinating.

<You are a good thing in the world> he finds himself thinking at some point - he doesn't actually mean to think it to Cayaldwin but Cayaldwin is nearly asleep and Mhalir just spent all day communicating every single thought, constantly, it's slipping into habit now. <You and Leareth... We lost - something unimaginable - cannot ever repair it - but still...> 

Cayaldwin is not a good thing in the world. He is the shadow of a good thing, mistakable for the real thing only by people who have not seen it.

He eventually sleeps.

Mhalir drifts through Cayaldwin's dreams, vaguely sad and confused and tired. Wanting to fix the unfixable, which is the story of his life, really. Him and Leareth both. He misses Seerow. Which is kind of a stupid way to feel but still. 

In the morning he doesn't say anything about his comments the night before, and after the Andalites' morning ritual he dives straight back into math. 

Math comes perilously close to being a thing that is still good about the universe, though he manages to not actually feel at peace except when incredibly distracted.

It's frustrating that this is the closest he can come to helping, but Mhalir can probably manage to keep Cayaldwin incredibly distracted for most of the day. 

When he's up, Leareth looks for Matirin. 

In the field talking with people. He tail-waves at Leareth. <Good morning.>

Leareth is in Andalite morph after his morning running-around, and tail-waves back. <Good morning. I have been considering a potential plan for the war, which I ought probably run by you.> 

<I do like it when people tell me about those.> He trots over.

Leareth recounts his plan of obtaining an Alloran morph with Gifts, and going in undercover with Mhalir to mind-control everyone while Mhalir covers for them with a fake report. 

<I think there is a solid justification for it being the two of us specifically> he says at the end. <I can impersonate Mhalir well enough, apparently, if no one is suspicious, but it takes all of my attention, I cannot do that and cast hundreds of compulsions at extended range at the same time. And - I am the only one skilled enough with compulsions to pull this off, I think.> 

<How do you think we should proceed if you are discovered somehow and both die.>

<You will not lose me permanently. I will reincarnate in Velgarth - I may or may not retain precise enough memories of the interworld Gate, but I would certainly remember to go north or to Valdemar to send a message. You - might not lose him, either. He has a computer backup of his entire brain, which he cannot run but which he thought Andalites might have enough advanced computing to manage. There is also his morph-tether setup, which...I suspect we can set up again for the duration of this mission at least, since I am morph capable and will be in morph for the risky parts. It is not dissimilar from mine and would have involved 'demorphing' from the body of another Yeerk, thus in practice killing them; he previously had it set up so the tether would link to a related-to-him baby Yeerk in his Pool ship. It is possible I could help him arrange a non-murderous method instead.> 

<That seems an acceptable risk> he concedes.

<It would certainly be awkward, and costly, to lose both of us even temporarily. I would return looking like someone else - also I really do not want to murder anyone again, but I do not think this should wait until Cayaldwin figures out how to do multiple morph tethers for others as well.>

Sigh. <I would leave contingency orders for my people, with Nayoki in charge. It - might be better not to make our deaths public, in that scenario, and instead claim we are busy conquering other worlds elsewhere. I intend to be very, very careful, though, and I am hard to kill.> 

<I know. I think it is likely to go well, and - two people is fairly trivial collateral damage for a bad outcome of trying to conquer a major enemy base.>

<I agree. And in the good outcome - which I think is more likely than not - we can take out the Yeerk high command with minimal bloodshed or even infrastructure damage. That...would mean a great deal to me. And Mhalir has no desire to murder thousands of his former friends.>