Leareth peers at her, trying to figure out what she's getting at. 

:Were you very upset or angry, when you arrived and found out what had happened?: 

:Yes. Obviously: 

Melody steeples her fingers together over her knees. :It's not obvious to me, actually? You don't get upset or angry about that many things. Especially not - immediate strategic decisions, I get the impression you usually put feelings aside for those, and it's long-term looming problems or past atrocities like factory farming and World War Two that upset you. Not some political dynamics happening in a wartime situation with aliens: 

...Huh. Is that right? Leareth has to stop and think about it for a minute. 

:I did notice I was quite angry: he admits, eventually. :I tried to check that I was not making hasty decisions in anger rather than because they made sense. I still think that learning more about the situation was correct, there: 

:I'm not really talking about whether it was correct, here. I'm wondering about how you carried out that plan - because something about it prompted Matirin to inform me directly that you seemed stressed and I should talk to you: 

Now he's just confused and off-balance. 

Gods, she thought this would be a way simpler conversation than it's proving to be, Leareth seemed so on top of what emotions he was having before, she thought he would just - explain to her what was going on, in his usual lightning-fast way that leaves her two steps behind trying to catch up, and then they'd talk about that. Instead, this. 

She takes a deep breath. :I'm not trying to get your back up, I don't think you did anything wrong or stupid here. Just - it's looking to me like a very normal, human thing is happening, where you're allied with Matirin and his command in a war, and also you - like and care about him as a person. Which is why, in addition to escalating to get more information in case the other Andalites were a threat to your peace effort, you were also very angry and stressed about Matirin, specifically, being in danger: 

Sigh. :Does that seem right?: 

:I - have to think about it: 

Leareth closes his eyes and tries to remember what he was feeling. Anger, yes. He's not angry now, the other Andalites did a very reasonable thing given their information state, but - gods, he remembers how much it hurt to leave Matirin there alone, when Leareth had just gotten a glimpse of his thoughts and how distressed he was, and there wasn't anything he could do... 

That...does, on reflection, seem like an unusual flavour of distress for him to feel about bad things happening. Given that Matirin had made endorsed decisions to achieve his goals, and was going to be fine. 

:...Maybe: he admits. :I - usually do not feel as invested in it as I did there. To be clear, I would also have been very angry if they had taken Vanyel for some reason: 

:Of course. Because you care about him as a person. I'd noticed that: 

Nod. :Of course. We have spoken regularly for a decade and - he is a quite extraordinary person: 

:I know. I'm not confused about that part. Matirin is also a pretty exceptional person, just - you do seem to maybe be confused about that?: 

Leareth is silent for a long time, turning that over in his head. It's - not wrong, he has felt off-balance about something related to Matirin, he remembers conversations feeling like he was thirsty for some specific thing and had no idea how to pin it down clearly enough to be strategic about it. So he's mostly been ignoring it, because there's a war going on right now. 

:I have a great deal of respect for him and - he has taken costly actions to help me and my goals: he says, slowly, laying out each word with care. :I trust him, which...feels very valuable, in this war: 

:And rare for you. You - don't seem to go around seeking close friendships with people: 

:I do not. It was - usually unstrategic to do so, in Velgarth. People die, I could not share my immortality method without attracting the gods' attention, and - anyone allied with me was likely to face Their displeasure about it, and be less prepared to protect themselves: 

Melody nods, slowly. :That makes sense. And sounds hard, I'm sorry: 

Leareth is deep in thought, barely hearing her answer. Is it strategic to feel invested in Matirin as a person and his wellbeing, the way he does with Vanyel? It - seems pretty unclear. Matirin is probably safe from the Velgarth gods' disapproval, here, but there's still a war going on, both of them have responsibilities to put first, and it's unclear that the particular mix of emotions he seems to have actually helps with the 'being allied' part. Though...the trust does feel important. He's putting weight on it, in a real sense, and - it feels like maybe the investment is an automatic result of trusting Matirin. 

:You seemed lonely to me, before: Melody sends. :I don't think it's good for most people, having so little in the way of friends and confidantes: 

Leareth isn't sure what to say to that. He isn't most people. 

:Do you love him:

:What: 

Melody blinks owlishly, one hand going up to fidget with her collar and scratch her collarbone. :- Sorry, that's probably underspecified, isn't it. Do you - directly value being around him, knowing about what's on his mind, being able to make his life better, separate from the strategic upsides of those things?: 

Leareth has to think about that for a full minute. :...I suppose so: He smiles, ruefully. :You are right, I was confused about that part: