<Thank you.> He clicks through more questionable internet content.

:They've got un-Gifted therapists here, probably it's a good idea to set something up where humans need to see one for screening in order to get a Yeerk, they can filter out people who are obviously going to make terrible choices here: 

Melody heads off to go look for Leareth. 

He's reading a much less horrifying section of the human internet, and absently agrees that tomorrow would be fine for meeting with Alloran, if Savil or someone else can Gate him back north of the Border for it. 

Great, sorted. 

...Sigh. Melody has been putting this off for days but she's had an easy morning today and she should probably check, at this point, if Cayaldwin is busy right now. 

He is! He's at a computer doing something incomprehensible with a program for visualizing planar interactions.

He's busy doing things like that basically every time she ever checks. Sometimes Marian is on break and asking him questions about it, she seems to feel friendly toward him although Melody can't tell at all if Cayaldwin reciprocates it. 

Ughhhhh she is going to regret opening this box of worms and also it's probably not going to help at all but she should, in fact, give it a try.

:Hey: she sends. :Wondered if we could talk at some point, doesn't have to be now: 

He jumps slightly. Dismisses the planar visualization program.

<Yes?>

She has thought about this conversation dozens of times and there's no way at all to do it gracefully. 

:I've been trying to think of a less awkward way to say this, but I don't think there is one, so - I looked at you when you were in the medical bay, in case there was an issue I could help Marian with to get you morphing again, and - instead I accidentally saw the giant grief hole in the middle of your brain, and it seemed like at some point I ought to fess up to that. It's a really impressively giant grief hole and - I'm sorry I didn't get to meet whoever died and left it there, they must've been quite something: 

<Oh.> He relaxes slightly. <He was. The Yeerks killed him.>

:I'm so sorry. The war is - just so incredibly awful. Who was he?: 

<My father.>

:What was he like?: Her read on him, right now, is that he doesn't actually want to tell her to go away, not yet anyway. 

<He was very intelligent. He worked across - a bunch of different fields, he made contributions to morph and to hyperspace jump targeting and to genetic engineering and - he had some projects that could've ended the war -> Breathing has nothing to do with thoughtspeech but he is suddenly somehow choked up.

:Wow. That sounds like the worst kind of tragedy, that they killed him: She lets a little bit of her simmering background anger at the Yeerks leak through into her mindvoice. :- He would've gotten along with Leareth, I bet. Seems so unfair that they couldn't have a chance to meet: 

<Yes. He would've figured out morphing Gifts already - I can't quite get it ->

:Your world lost so much: She lets out her breath. :He sounds incredible. Guess that explains the size of grief hole: 

<It's not enough.>

:I'm not sure anything could be. It's always felt a bit unfair to me, how the universe doesn't - recognize the magnitude of losing someone precious. In Valdemar, you know, when someone's dead, we burn a candle on the harvest festival and say their name, and - it's just a candle, it's not big enough to mourn something that huge. Feels like the stars should recognize it and go out for a day every time - feels like the entire world should know and mourn with us, but - doesn't work that way: 

Tail-swish.

:...Anyway, you're welcome to tell me to go away, I don't know you that well and this is personal, just - I appreciate it, hearing some things about him. Feels important to, I don't know, recognize how much we're missing out on, all the holes left in the world from losing him and all the others who died. I wish I could have known him, and - of course it's not the same, hearing the stories from you, it can't compare, but it's something: 

<I'm really busy. Maybe once I figure out how to modify morph so it handles Gifts.>

:Of course. I'll leave you to it: And she does. 

She watches his tapestry, though, trying to see if talking to her had any effect at all, good or bad. 

The enormous gaping hole isn't smaller but he's - maybe firmed some things up around its edges, just a little bit.

Well. That's a start, and he doesn't seem in principle against talking to her again, if he's ever less busy. She isn't going to make any progress with him on making it smaller when he actively wants it to be as big as possible, but - maybe someday, if he decides she's a safe person to talk to. 

She suggests to Leareth that if he ever wants a break from annoying politics, he could swing by and see if Cayaldwin could use his help or just someone to be a sounding board for morphing Gifts. It'll probably be good for Leareth too; he clearly enjoys magic research, and all the other aspects of the war are weighing on him so much. He's good at taking five-minute breaks when he needs them and managing his stamina that way, but he's very bad about agreeing to ever take a day off, even though in Melody's opinion he could badly use it.

She settles in to look up information about Earth therapists and psychologists on the Internet, and then call some of them to ask questions. 

Leareth does end up stopping by, later, to see if Cayaldwin wants to bounce ideas off him. Leareth can try watching morphs from a dozen different Velgarth planes, see if they're the ones being accessed? And if he finds anything interesting he could bring Cayaldwin along to see himself, Cayaldwin is by now the most experienced Andalite with joining Leareth in rapport and interpreting his mage-sight.