"Oh. What happened?"

"...The discipline whip. It's - he still has a ton of scars."

"What? A discipline whip? Hanguang-jun, the famed Second Jade--what could he have done?"

She frowns. "Nothing to deserve that. He got in a fight with some Lan Sect elders and hurt them - when he was carrying you back to the Burial Mounds after Nightless City."

"When he was what!?"

" - You didn't know about that?"

"I barely remember anything from between Nightless City and dying. I remember--hiding you in a tree--destroying the Yin Tiger Seal and dying, I wish I didn't remember that--I thought I had walked back somehow--"

"No. Dad carried you."

"I need to go talk to him." 

"Okay. I can keep anyone from disturbing you two..."

"Thanks." 

He hurries off. 

Lan Zhan is still in the Jingshi, unpacking for their stay. He looks up, startled, when Wei Wuxian barges in. 

"Lan Zhan! A-Yuan said--I don't remember hardly anything from around that time. She said you carried me from Nightless City back to the Burial Mounds?"

"You don't remember?" 

"I don't remember anything from that time except--vague flashes, of preparing for the siege; hiding A-Yuan in a tree; destroying the Stygian Tiger Seal. Dying. I thought I had managed to get back on my own somehow." 

"Oh." 

"She said they found us. She said you fought Lan Elders for me. She said they hit you with a Discipline Whip enough that she was broken of the habit of waking people up by jumping on them by the time you had recovered enough that it wouldn't hurt you." 

"Mn." 

"Lan Zhan, why?" He isn't worth that, has never been worth that. Even before he was Yiling Laozu. 

He doesn't remember. 

Lan Wangji can't imagine the response will be any better than last time--more articulate perhaps, but essentially the same in result--but.

Some things have to be said. 

"Because I love you." 

"He missed you! A lot!"
       
"All of his stories of you are - fond."

Ohhhhhh. Wow. Okay. He doesn't know what he expected but he definitely didn't expect this. 

Something he can't identify rises in his throat. Thirteen years ago, Lan Zhan had loved him. Thirteen years dead; thirteen years was more than long enough to grieve and move on. 

"I'm sorry you got hurt because of me." 

"I am sorry only that it was not enough." 

He tries to laugh. It comes out a little choked. "Lan Zhan, you really are too good. I can't believe you could love someone like me at a time like that." 

Something wet rolls down his cheek. He brings a hand to his face and discovers tears. 

All the Lan self-discipline in the world is not enough to prevent him from cupping that tearstained cheek with his hand right now. 

"Will always love Wei Ying," he says softly. 

Wei Wuxian's hand comes up to cover Lan Zhan's. 

"What--even now? Even after thirteen years?"

"Always." 

He lets out a sob and throws his arms around Lan Zhan's neck. 

"Lan Zhan, I...right now, I don't think I know how I feel. Things keep happening, and--it's all mixed up. But I--when you said you still, I--felt--relieved? I think? So I--I don't know. But I'm sorry you had to wait thirteen years for me."