what

"The Wens attacked everyone--they burned the Cloud Recesses, Lan Zhan--and we stopped them but so many other terrible things happened afterwards, but if I kill Wen Chao and Wen Ruohan and Wen Xu then maybe none of that happens and everyone gets to be okay." His arms tighten around Lan Zhan. "I'm not making this up and I'm not crazy, Lan Zhan, I swear, I can tell you things you never told me at this point in the timeline--"

"You died. After we stopped them you died."

"--What, no, you died." 

"No. I wasn't there. They took me away before they came for you, it was four years ago."

"Four years ago you were cut down five feet away from the tree where A-Yuan was hiding." 

"-did he live? You survived? Did Jiang Wanyin not go after you?"

("Did I not what?")

"I was going to destroy the Yin Tiger Seal, but--you died, and I--it didn't matter anymore, it didn't matter what using it did to me, A-Yuan had to live, Granny and Uncle Four and Uncle Six and all the rest had to live or you would have died for nothing and that, it didn't matter what happened to me, I lost Shijie and Wen Qing and Wen Ning and I lost you, it didn't matter anymore what happened to me but they had to live." 

He will formulate thoughts about this but first he has to kiss him again.

Wei Ying kisses back like he's afraid Lan Zhan will vanish if he doesn't find some way to physically meld the two of them together. 

Kiss. Cling.

Eventually they take another break from kissing but he will not stop clinging. "You were hurt after the battle at Nightless City. I tried to hide you. - Failed. You died fighting back after destroying the amulet, spiritual backlash." Kiss. "I found A-Yuan, after. Nothing left but him."

"You brought me back to the Burial Mounds, after Nightless City. They were afraid to enter. Until they had enough numbers." Why would he stop clinging, that sounds like a terrible idea. "I was a wreck, I had no idea what was going on, I fought you and told you to fuck off, but you still dragged me home." A sound that's half-chuckle and half-sob bubbles out of his throat. "You put up with so much from me, Lan Zhan. All the way to the end." 

Cling. Is it possible to cling any more than this, time to find out.

"You - you. You. But you wanted me?"

"Of course I did, Lan Zhan, who could not want you?"

He probably needs to stab himself in both legs, actually.

"You told me to go away," he says hoarsely. "I didn't. But they found us. I had to leave. I never - I wanted to stay."

"I know. I--wish I could regret that, sometimes. I probably would regret it if you had died for me. But it was A-Yuan. I can't--I've wished I had died instead every day since then but I could never wish it had been A-Yuan." 

"I love you."

"I love you too, so much. I missed you so much." 

This is very much not the reaction Wei Ying had the last time Wangji said that. He's crying again. That's fine, the crying doesn't count if you're also kissing.

Kiss. "You went missing. Thought I was too late to save you, made things worse."

"If I'd known I would have come and told you first. I'm--I thought you wouldn't even know until I was back, until it was all taken care of, until you were safe." 

"Your family wrote to Jiang Cheng. He was loud." Squeeze. "Not safe unless you're safe."

"Ah, Lan Zhan, you have to warn me before saying things like that! I can't believe I forgot how you say things like that, my heart can't take it." 

Sure, he can do that.

”I am going to say something like that,” he says seriously. “I cannot ever let go of you. It will hurt. I want to hold you forever.”

Wei Ying squeaks, and then lunges forwards to kiss him devouringly.