"I didn't know Bards were aware of that being horrible, actually."

"I mean, it's not good, I don't think of it as evil either really, it's just - a tool? Kind of an unfair one in some ways, can be underhanded. But it's what Maitimo is." He looked a bit awed. "They put me in charge of setting up precautions and spying on him when he was in Valinor again, seemed so unfair, he's thousands of years old..." 

"Apparently being thousands of years old didn't prove especially protective."

"Anyway. What actually happened next - it sounds as though he ended up going back to Valinor, had that already been the plan when you were finished questioning him...?" 

"I think none of us had gotten as far as a plan. We were still stunned about...Melkor..." He trails off, shivers. "We had sex a second time, because I was still being stupid for exactly the same reasons as before, and then the marriage happened and - and he was so upset, it was terrible - he thought we were going to kill him, because of the security risk presented by the marriage bond... Anyway, we very clearly could not keep him prisoner forever, Elves do not handle captivity well and it was damaging him. However, he could have presented what happened in a much worse light and - likely destroyed our alliance with the Noldor, which Velgarth needed quite badly. So we negotiated an agreement. He wrote some letters explaining it, and explained to his parents and - other boyfriend - while still in my facility so that we could set matters right with a Truth Spell if he lied about what happened."

Telumë is staring very hard at the floor. "In exchange, he went back to Valinor with no mind control against anything, including murdering people. Then he somehow almost murdered Jisa and Stef, two of the most critical people in Arda - he did kill twelve bystanders, though they were Elves who come back - and also steered the Valar into confiscating Fëanáro's Silmarils. At which point Fëanáro disowned him and the Valar banned him from Arda for the next twelve thousand years, and - and he appeared back in my facility in Velgarth."

Telumë's expression is that of someone who found this very unfair. 

"He has another boyfriend?"

"Yes, for a thousand years before he even met me. He - is very good, and he approved of Maitimo also being in a relationship with me, before. He was very angry about the marriage, unsurprisingly. Afterward, he–" Telumë's voice cracks, "he thought - I was making a mistake - not killing him. But he said - it was not the sort of mistake - he wished to stop people from making, not being willing to give up yet on somebody they love..." 

And then he's crying again, his body silently shaking with it, curling away from Leareth. 

"Should we be hauling him over here? Or looking up his counterpart?"

"...He might agree to come from the other Arda. Or we could find out if he is still alive. Findekáno, I am not sure I actually know his second name. He is very sensible and he also knows Maitimo extremely well. ...I suppose the version from this world would know a different Maitimo, really." 

"Probably diverged only a few years ago relative to yours, but, yes, different."

"Why did you not kill him? It sounded as though you could not keep him captive before without slowly breaking him. And Elves come back, no?" 

"He would not have. The Vala of death cannot undo oaths, and so would not send him back. At least, not until Sauron was dead, but - we think the oath breaking there might simply shred his mind. I was trying - gambling - he was thinking, he had played all his cards and had no more routes to disrupting the war, and so he might as well just - be mine - and I do not like the pattern we were in but it seemed like perhaps it could keep him alive through the end of the war, give him a greater chance of - coming back whole - and it did not seem, at that point, to be trading off against strategic priorities, the damage there had already been done..." 

"It sounds appallingly distracting, for one." 

"It would not be less distracting if I were to kill him." 

"It might have been more temporarily so? People do move on from the deaths of loved ones."

"...Honestly, not being able to bring myself to kill someone if it were strategically correct is the opposite of a problem I would ever expect to have. You seem - very different." 

"I..." Telumë lifts his hands, helplessly, lets them fall. "I told Findekáno I would - change my mind, if anything unexpected happened. This is very unexpected. I - suppose that ought to clarify things..."

And he can't go on, he curls up and turns away and hugs himself. 

This is a shocking level of distressing! :Belrun, I feel as though I am doing something wrong here! I cannot understand why he seems so upset: 

:I don't know! My source of expertise on him as an individual is knowing you and my expertise on people in general is not high! If he's weird in this direction maybe he also has friends we should be talking to??:

:I think we should talk to the other Vanyel, but unfortunately he is currently helping search for Sauron, which seems high priority: 

:I suppose you could just ask him why he's acting like this, he might conceivably know? Though if he does I'd sort of expect him to volunteer the information:

:He seems - afraid, I think. I am not sure of what: 

"Telumë, I am noticing you are very upset, and I am sure you are also aware this is uncharacteristic for, well, us. Do you know what is going on?" 

"...Oh, right, being able to only have emotions I decided to have, that was very nice." Telumë shivers. "...I think my core memories are not the same as yours." 

"What."