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war for velgarth
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The day you died, yeah. He can send it; climbing through the mountains, watching the sunset from within their shelter on the mountains, laughing, talking -

- and then Leareth Gated them back and collapsed into Maitimo's arms, comfortably tired, and then -

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Oh - was it the same day...? Telumë doesn't have records of anything from their visit to Velgarth. He would've kept them, presumably, but of course everything in Haven was lost. 

He's suddenly crying. Remembering, faintly and distantly, how angry he was with himself, in those final frantic moments, for taking that risk, letting himself arrive anywhere too tired to fight, even the peaceful and well-protected capital city of an allied kingdom, he remembers how stupid he felt, for forgetting that Velgarth was always, inevitably, trying to destroy him...

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He leans over closer and hugs him. Sauron was watching the whole time you were in Velgarth, for you to be tired - when we Gated out they brought Iftel's army across the border, under Sauron's illusions which the Web couldn't detect -

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They had pieced together that it must've been something like that. Telumë remembers Vanyel telling him not to feel bad about having failed to see it coming, no one saw that attack in particular coming, they'd had no idea any nearby countries had armies that could take out Haven even with a Maia's help. It's almost worse, to think that it happened even though no one made any mistakes...

But it's in the past, a lot of bad things happened but they've won now, and it's time to start looking to the future, start building something new.

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'they've won' is, inconveniently, still on the list of thoughts that provokes awkward conflicted feelings from him. He resents the empathy bond for how he can never just tuck those away for later, how he's always sharing them.

 

But - it is over. He doesn't really believe that nothing awful will happen again, but it can't happen with no forewarning, Foundation ensures that.

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No - they live in a world where awful things can and do happen, Telumë knew that even before a lot of them in a row happened to him personally. He wishes this wasn't such a painful topic for Maitimo, or at least that he were better at being mindful of it. 

But, yes, Foundation substantially strengthens the forces working for not-awful things. Probably at some point they'll go to other worlds that still have problems, they can't hole up in this one forever, and - probably awful things will happen at some point. He supposes all they can do is try to grow and be strong enough that it won't break them. 

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Maitimo definitely does not at this moment feel they are strong enough that additional horrible things wouldn't break them but - 

- he can imagine it? It feels - related to the wanting to build things robust enough even Sauron could live in them, actually. They can make something that evil gods can't break. 

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That makes sense. And, no, I think we are not there yet. I think we will have to work for it, and in the meantime it would be better to stay here where we have some amount of safety rails. But...someday. I want that kind of world to exist too. I want us to build it together.

That feels close to the core thing for him, what it even means for him to love Maitimo; it means a lot of other things too, including, hopefully, having sex and enjoying it and making each other absurdly happy, but at the centre it means making each other stronger. 

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That's - what loving people is, yes, making them stronger and helping them notice their strengths and putting them in situations where they get to exercise them and earning their trust, from it, so that when you need them for things, there they are. 

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Oh no he loves Maitimo so much and is suddenly full of warm overflowing happy feelings about it and - all right he should probably ask. I want to kiss you, may I? 

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He leans over and answers that by kissing him.

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The sun sets over the ocean, turning the icebergs purple and blue as they float past, and nobody bothers them, and Telumë is so happy - he remembers to share some of his thoughts with Maitimo, for the first time ever he's a little annoyed that the empathy bond is only one direction. 

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It annoys me all the time but I try to remind myself that as long as we're in the same place I don't need it to know you are safe and happy. 

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Telumë snuggles up against him. What he wants, right now, is to head somewhere private so they can do more than kiss, which is surprising, he's not sure when wanting that snuck up on him. It seems like a good sign but also like it would be wiser to hold off and take things more slowly. 

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Maitimo puts an arm around him. 

I'll come back if you'd like, to hold you while you fall asleep. But - that's all, tonight. 

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I would like that. Want to walk back with me to my house? Telumë lives a good distance from Maitimo's interim home, but it's on the way, pretty close to here. 

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And they can walk back together through the streets of Telumë's city, where everyone knows him and most of them now know Maitimo too, and smile and wave to them happily. 

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And get back to Telumë's house - Maitimo is sending wantwantwant but his body language is much more cautious than that, he kisses Telumë's forehead very gently -

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Telumë leans into his touch for a moment and then pulls back. I love you. See you later tonight? 

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All right. He is confident in his ability to spend the evening here and not change his mind but perhaps it's still smarter not to push it. 

 

He goes back outside. Sings. It is an old and fairly nuanceless Quenya ballad about how the singer's beloved is the most perfect person in the universe. Maitimo feels like he has more evidence for this than most people who sing this song.

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(Telumë would probably disagree if he were listening, which he isn't right now, because he's talking to Foundation instead and catching up on some news.) 

He osanwë's Maitimo a few hours later, standing by his window looking out at the stars. They're very clear, this far north, if not quite as bright now that the city has more lights at night. I am going to bed soon, if you still wanted to come...

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Yes. Can he make the leap up to the window - of course he can, things don't go horribly wrong, here -

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There's a nice little ledge to grab onto, and Telumë laughs and opens the window for him. 

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He climbs on through. Folds his arms and frowns consideringly at Telumë. "You're very trusting. Why, I could've been anyone."

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