I would very much like you to not be evil but I'm not sure we can get there by just doing things that wouldn't make you unhappy if you weren't evil. 

Can you and Father - come with me to wherever we're going - I know we can't talk about the war  - it's just hard to think about it all here and now -

I certainly can. You'll have to ask him, about him. 

- I was talking with Nerdanel about - what happened, and stuff. I wasn't - expecting you to bring her. 

Well, I didn't know what to say and she wanted to come. 

I'm really really glad you did. Even though I wasn't able to answer any of her questions very helpfully. I think she's having a hard time with all of the implications of me being evil. Have you two talked about it much.

A little bit. About whether I could fix you and whether I could verifiably have fixed you, because even if I do manage to talk you out of it we still can't let you anywhere near the war effort unless it's very provable -

You're not going to fix me that thoroughly. The oath has parts that are too sticky. If I end up back with Sauron I'll end up working for him again. You might be able to get to - me caring a lot more about all of you than I care about - driving people in Valimar to divorce, or whatever stupid minor trivial thing that Sauron probably technically approves of that I'll actually have the scope to do in Valinor - but it actually just won't be safe to have me helping with the war and you shouldn't count on it. 

 - he nods, thoughtfully.

It - means a lot to me, though, that you were thinking how to try. 

I am not going to give up on it yet!

I asked Mother whether you two could come with me - at least for the transit time to wherever it is people decide to take me - so I have a bit more time - we couldn't talk about anything to do with the war but we could probably talk about my reasons for being evil, if you have any ideas already. 

I should discuss that with some other people, there are strategic implications. 

Of course. Uh, you don't have to worry about accidentally leaking to me that you're working on building Telumë's god, I know that. I don't know enough math to tamper - and gods, I wouldn't want to, getting that wrong wouldn't serve any power on both worlds, the things I currently want from the world are as specific as the things you want from it -

Huh, I hadn't thought of that.

I know why the war gets priority, I'd endorse the war getting priority if I were in my right mind. But - I think it would help me a lot. For whatever that's worth. 

It bothered me that I got the sense from your letter - that you thought I might be angry you didn't follow the Valar's rules.

I didn't really have any idea what to expect. I told Telumë maybe you wouldn't want me back and maybe you'd be so angry you'd tell him you meant to have nothing to do with the war. 

I think the Valar are idiots and my children can have whoever they please.

Hey, some moral common ground. - the thing Sauron and Melkor are, at its core, is the opposite of the Valar. And Eru. This makes them also the enemy of most people, since the Valar do have some good opinions such as 'torture is bad', but - if you find a plan to kill Eru I'll be uncomplicatedly helping.

I will give it some thought. What about plans to defeat Vkandis - 

In favor, he's very annoying.

Plans to take resurrection away from Mandos and do it ourselves.

Probably results in people flourishing and leading good lives, which I'm supposed to be against, but also it's a fuck-you to Mandos which I'm enthusiastically in favor of. I think I could line it up right in my head.

A couple hours later he goes looking for Vanyel. I think we're about ready to head back.