"That is a pretty fair indictment of people who were not me and over who I had no influence. My kingdom ceded lands to mortal refugees when they came across the mountains, gave them political independence, stood between them and the fighting. They're still all dead, of course, because when they needed to flee the only place to flee was into Doriath and Doriath as we both know shoots refugees on sight."

"I'm not sure where you got the idea I approve of anything my father's ever done."

"Are you going to help him orchestrate the war he's apparently aiming for?"

"If Beren's alive all I'm planning to do is go south and be safe."

"Swear to it-"

"I swear if Beren's alive all I want to do is go south and be safe."

"I want a promise not to endeavor to deliver the Silmarils to Elu Thingol."

"Yeah, no. Maybe if you'd helped me instead of kidnapping me -"

"Is Thingol having the Silmarils somehow worse than the Enemy having them?"

Have they actually been disarmed and shackled? Because this is starting to sound awfully loopholey.

Yes, yes, they were very careful.

"Thingol having the Silmarils is worse than the Enemy having them because four different nations are sworn to kill anyone who withholds them and thus if Elu Thingol takes them will be magically bound to war with Doriath."

"...Four nations have sworn magically binding oaths to kill anyone who withholds the Silmarils? So, if literally anyone takes them you will be compelled into a civil war. How did four whole nations agree to swear binding oaths to kill people with Silmarils what the fuck is wrong with all of you."

"It was a decision made five hundred years ago under completely different strategic circumstances. Perhaps they never justified it but they at least made sense of it. Anyway, after the Enemy is defeated if you want to punish everyone responsible that's fine but expressing your contempt for their choices by igniting that war is not defensible. And all we want is reassurance that you're not going to do it, given that Thingol specifically instructed your fiancé to do it and did so in the express hope that we would kill him rather than permit that and thus get him off Thingol's plate."

"And I think all of the Noldor are lunatics with no business running anything larger than a butter churn and I'm not going to swear any oaths about my future behavior."

"OK, how's this for a solution?  Lúthien and I depart as soon as you verify the nonexistence of the orc hordes, if we can figure out a way to rescue Beren and pull it off then he and Lúthien elope, which they sort of seem to have done already. No Silmaril for Thingol, everyone else is happy. Nobody swears any more ridiculous oaths, nor even sensible-seeming long-term ones because I can envision a strategic situation where giving a Silmaril to Thingol is the only way to actually win this war and making oaths is apparently what got you into this mess."

"That outcome makes me very happy, though I'm not sure I trust your judgment on circumstances where giving a Silmaril to Thingol is a good idea."

"I'm fine with that."

"The four kingdoms committed to poorly-thought-out Oaths are wiped out by the Enemy, Thingol finally decides to help with the war effort, Doriath's the safest place to keep the Silmaril between uses. Is he a Maia or is that Melian? As far as I can tell the only safe place for a Silmaril now is on the Enemy's head, or did I interpret that wrong? Because it sounded to me like as soon as you retrieve the Silmarils you'll have a civil war on your hands whoever gets them."

"No, anyone who will acknowledge the Silmarils as the property of their creators can have them without provoking any wars."

"And who are those creators?"

"My father."

"...Convenient. Well, I swear I shall return any Silmarils that I come into possession of to your father as soon as it is convenient to do so, conditional on confirmation that he did in fact make them, and not with stolen materials, tools, labor, et cetera, and that he didn't trade them away afterwards or otherwise relinquish ownership of them, and also conditional on their return not having massive amounts of death or other tragedy as an immediate and obvious consequence. My oath is not magically compelling, but for what it is worth I take it very seriously-" Apparently more so than people who actually have magically compelling oaths "-and I hope that this will go some way to reassuring you that I have every intention of avoiding civil war."

"Thank you. My father's dead, but you can give them to any of his children or anyone of his people. And I still strongly encourage you both against a suicide mission to go fight Thauron, you will almost certainly die slowly and horribly. Do you need an escort out?"

"...Thauron? Oh, is that Gorthaur? People around here have too many names. I don't intend to launch any attempt at rescue unless I'm pretty sure it will work, I had the start of one but that was under the assumption that telepathy can't sense invisible people which I really would have preferred to figure out earlier than I did. I will also discourage Lúthien from reckless behaviour but as you may have guessed I'm not going to tie her down or anything if she really wants to go. I don't think we need an escort, though if you still intend to send the humans with me the company would be nice. But I imagine I've probably ruined that opportunity."

"Yeah, almost everyone's terrified of you now. I will ask them if they're still willing to go -" Pause - "not unless it makes you less likely to make terrible choices, does it?"