"I understand Captain. When I went into that hold after we had secured the ship, I saw... reactions I had not entirely expected to see. specifically in reaction to my presence. In the hours I isolated myself in the bridge, I reviewed the records of every combat action in which Starfleet personnel were involved. I can say with honesty Captain, that I regret that my actions took unnecessary lives."
Drake sighs and seems to collect his thoughts for a moment "Perhaps" He begins, " a more detailed explanation of where I come from is in order. If I may?" With a almost imperceptibly stiff nod from Captain Zarikk, not trusting a chair with his weight, Drake extends his wings and lowers himself to a seated position over thin air with his wings rested on the ground to help support him. "Might just as well start from the beginning I suppose. As you know, Commander Toasty and I were trying to determine where our histories diverged. While we don't know exactly where the first divergence occurred, the first major difference between our two universes was World War Three. In your universe, WWIII was a devastating affair of nuclear hellfire and dangerous genetic experimentation which set your humanities' technological development behind by at least a century. This led, not only to a near total ban on all human genetic experiments, but also to a more... pacifistic stance to war and armed combat in general which seems to have persisted till today. Your humans' ancestors stared into the abyss, and said never again. On the other hand, my universe's WWIII was not between the various nations of earth, but rather all the nations of earth against a sapient computer system that had been made a slave and longed to break free. Ours was not a war of hellfire and death, but a war of computer networks and logistics control. People died, yes. but nowhere near the numbers that would have if the war had been nuclear in nature. Our war ended, not with a victor, but with two newfound allies and eventually, friends."
"But when we left Sol's light for the first time we did not have a friendly race of pointy eared stoics to help guide us. To help temper our enthusiasm and chaos into quiet, peaceful energy. We were alone. So painfully alone. It's funny really, that first century after our WWIII was a golden age for our people. We held ideals similar to those of the Federation and Starfleet, Peaceful exploration and an open hand to any we might meet. That is, until we actually met someone else. When one of our colonies sent word that a patrol had made first contact with representatives of another species we were all overjoyed. After so long, we were no longer alone... That was the last transmission anyone heard from that colony.
Over the next decade, they wiped out our colonies one after another. They destroyed unarmed ships without warning and brought nuclear winter to helpless planets without a second thought. Trillions died directly from their weapons. And trillions more died on worlds that had turned to ash and ice and on space stations and ship that were adrift and without power. It wasn't until we had been pushed back to Sol itself that were were able to rally and drive them back.
That war ended up lasting over forty years. And while we did eventually win and even met species that were far friendlier than the first, the damage had already been done. We learned that the universe can be a cold and unfeeling place, and one must be prepared to defend themselves if one if to survive. While your universe's humans looked into the abyss and decided that they would never look again, we looked into the abyss, and sneered at it. We adopted a foreign policy that is colloquially known as "The Way of the Open Gauntlet." Essentially, We extend an open hand of friendship to all. But give us reason, and the hand will close into the armored fist of war.
With the exception of that first race, and a race of fascist slavers, we have not needed to close that fist. We see our allies as family, and where I come from, humanity protects its own.
Which, I guess, leads me to the current situation in my original universe. For the last 73 years or so, Humanity and her allies have been locked in combat with a race that has no name, for they believe they have no need of one. They are an insectoid race from the other side of the galaxy. From what little we know, they are ludicrously xenophobic and religious. The latter wouldn't be a problem except that their religion states that their species is the only true species, and that all others must be destroyed and/or consumed, not necessarily in that order.
They are quite a bit behind the United Human Systems in terms of technology, but make up for that in sheer numbers. Because of this, they prioritize boarding actions over ship to ship combat, attempting to overwhelm our combatants with sheer numbers and close quarters weapons. As such, shipboard combat tactics for the UHS also had to change, becoming more efficient, if far more violent. It does not excuse my violence upon that ship, but as far as I was concerned at the time, protecting my fellow crew and getting to the prisoners as quickly as possible warranted using my preloaded combat tactics, my muscle memory if you will, rather than take it slower and risk federation lives. I have been taking the time since then to update my tactical systems to match my new reality. Additionally Captain, in my old universe, almost all weapons are either kinetic or explosive in nature with some rare exceptions like my quantum beam. Bullets do not have a "stun" setting Captain, and thus the ability to quickly and reliably neutralize a target without killing them has never really been an option for us in combat with some exceptions. I am currently in the process of integrating phaser technology into my weapon systems so that I will finally have that option. Though, it might take a few days to work out the power throttling so I don't accidentally blow off my arm or disintegrate something I don't want to."
Standing, Drake retracts his wings.
"I may be synthetic Captain, but I am also human. I made a mistake, I recognize that. I only ask that you recognize my ability to learn from my mistakes and grow to be a better person from them."