"I agree that you probably shouldn't but if you want to, like, tell him you want to punch him in the face over it, or yell at him or what have you, I'll back you up."

Tylendel chuckles again. "You know, that might be satisfying. Van, would it be for you?"

"...Maybe a little." It gets a faint smile from him, at least. "Anyway, the thing that happened after that is, I was really upset, I - overheard some thoughts, I used to do that a lot by accident. I thought no one wanted me at k'Treva anymore. I thought I'd be a terrible Herald, that Yfandes must've - made a mistake, and," his voice falters, "I d-didn't want to be alive. I had a stupid plan that maybe Yfandes would realize and repudiate me if I forced it. So I ran away. It was really, really dumb." 

"That does sound kinda dumb. I mean, you had a horrible hole in your brain, but," she shrugs and gestures at Tylendel. "As established, that buys you some but not infinite slack. But you're not dead! And weren't when I found you! And I assume have already apologized to Yfandes and stuff."

"That was dumb," Tylendel agrees. "More a you-stupid-mistake than a me-stupid-mistake. You - never really believed you deserved things." He squeezes Vanyel tighter. 

"What, that's dumb, everyone deserves things. But, like, you especially, you're very good." She squeezes his hand. 

Vanyel squeezes back. He nods, shakily. "...I was almost dead. It was really, really close. I didn't have enough warm clothes and I - would've frozen to death. Only, some people turned up and tried to kidnap me first."

Tylendel yelps. "What?" he almost shouts. 

Vanyel stiffens and pulls himself closer to Lucy. 

Ooh yeah Tylendel: has trauma about Vanyel getting kidnapped! Lucy does not. Lucy has pets for Vanyel instead. 

Tylendel realizes almost instantly that his reaction is stressing Vanyel out more than the content. "...Shh, ashke, I'm sorry - I'm not mad at you, that just - scares me a lot, to think about." 

Vanyel relaxes a little. "I know. It was terrifying. But it wasn't the same as the first time. I had mage-gift, and some training. I fought them off. I, um, killed two of them." He looks miserable about it. 

"It'll be a long time before I fetch them but not never," Lucy murmurs. "Someday they'll get to be okay."

Watery smile. "That...makes me feel better, actually. Anyway. Starwind questioned the other one and they were looking for me in particular. But, um, meanwhile I - got hurt, pretty badly, in the fight. Mostly I hurt myself by trying to channel a lot of node-energy when I was already in really bad shape. Um, and I...talked to the Shadow-Lover." Vanyel looks over at Lucy. "He's - not quite a god, but some kind of being that greets people when they die, here. Although I wasn't sure until then whether it was just a story. He gave me a choice to - move on, die for real, or to come back." 

"Yeah, if you'd'a decided to move on I still woulda brought you back. No idea if you'd remembered making the choice, if that happened. But I wouldn't've until I had Tylendel too so, uh, I guess you'd have skipped a couple of months of pain at the expense of who knows how long I'd have taken to find out about the situation and prioritize it if I hadn't met you. I like this side of that trade, personally, and I bet Savil and Yfandes are big fans, but nobody but you can decide what the right choice is for you."

"...No, I'm glad I came back. I might've regretted it a few times when I was - having really bad days - but even when I thought 'Lendel wasn't coming back, it was...worth it." 

Tylendel hugs him tighter. "You were so brave, ashke. I wish you hadn't needed to be, but I'm really proud of you." He stops. :Lucy, um, was that a good thing to say?: 

:I guess I don't know. It felt like the right thing to say but, like--I'm surprisingly good at this but I'm still only nineteen and I've never really done this before, I am making this up as I go along really hard honestly.:

Somehow it feels very fake that Lucy is only two years older than him. There's no way he's going to be that wise when he's nineteen, Tylendel thinks. :I'm glad you're here: he sends. 

Vanyel takes another breath, lets it out. "I decided because – well, there were people worth coming back for. Savil, and Starwind and Moondance, Mardic and Donni. Yfandes, of course. But, there was another thing."

Oh, gods, he didn't even think to mention the dream earlier, and he's suddenly very nervous for Tylendel's reaction. "I'd been having this recurring dream since my Gifts were awakened. I - have the Gift of Foresight. In the dream I'm - up in the north, I think, there's a mountain pass, and a mage with an army who's going to invade Valdemar, and I know I'm the only one who can stop him and that I have to die trying. I - didn't put together that it was Foresight until I was with the Shadow-Lover." 

"...Huh, that...sounds like a problem I am qualified to solve, but I guess I don't know enough about magic here...if you do have to do the thing I'd better be on hand anyway, the faster ashes are collected the less of a headache fixing it is."

Vanyel giggles despite himself. Next to him, Tylendel is silent, rigid. 

"...You're in the dream, 'Lendel," Vanyel says finally. "Or, I mean, I always remember you being there before, but I - send you away to get help, or something." 

"...Which suggests the dream takes me into account. That's--I don't know what to think of that. I came from another universe, I--wouldn't have thought that whatever system of prophecy you have here would be able to predict a whole different world with whole different magic."

Pause. 

"I feel like it probably says something about how fucked-up my life has been so far that I'm more perturbed by that than by reversible but still, you know, extant, death and stuff." 

"...That doesn't make any sense," Vanyel says quietly. "You came here by accident, way later." 

"It makes no sense because I wouldn't leave." Tylendel's voice is tight; he sounds almost angry. "I don't want us to let the thing happen at all, the whole point of Foresight is to avert it, but if gods forbid it does, I'm going to be right there with you." He glances over. "We could send Lucy to run for help. She's faster. Although, honestly, she'd be great in a fight too."