"I hope so too." Vanyel seems mostly reassured and is content to move on from the topic and talk about how his week has been going. 

And how has his week been going?

Mostly fine! It's still really weird that Savil doesn't know about the single biggest thing on his mind. It's really good that Yfandes does, though, and feels similarly about it to how he does. 

He's pretty distracted from his duties a lot of the time, Savil's remarked on it, but - at least he's capable of being distracted by something that is neither 'Tylendel' nor 'having a giant hole in him'. He does find that he's been spending a lot of time wondering what Tylendel would think of Leareth, or of the gods business. Or of Bella, honestly. 

Does that feel like it's unproductive dwelling, or like it might be helping you build more of a model of him in a way that helps make your understanding commensurate with his impact on you?

"Huh." Vanyel does not look like he had thought about whether it was useful to make that distinction. "I don't know? It...doesn't feel bad, thinking about it. I mean, it's sad, and it takes up space in my head so I end up being more distracted from whatever I'm supposed to be doing, but I guess it does feel like I'm understanding him better. And a bit like it helps me understand the world better, too. Trying to think what his perspective would be, as well as mine." 

"That sounds like a useful exercise. Perspective-taking is a valuable skill and it might be easier to use with your model of Tylendel since you think about him a lot anyway. Ideally it wouldn't distract you from what else you have to do."

"I would probably be less distracted if putting privacy-wards on meeting rooms felt anywhere near as important as, um, Leareth and gods and you trying to find a way of teleporting to another plane." 

"Is it hard to do things if they don't feel earthshakingly important?"

"It wasn't hard before? Or, I mean, it was hard sometimes but for different reasons, and then for a while it was actually really nice to have straightforward routine work. I think it's just that I'm scared, and boring tasks aren't that good a way to keep my mind off it, even if there's nothing more productive I could be doing." 

"So they leave too much room for your mind to wander?"

"That seems right. If I'm doing it with Savil it's easier, or if it's really hard magic where I have to concentrate completely on it." 

"Is there a way to make routine work more interesting?"

"Hmm. I could - play around with it more, I guess? See if I can invent slightly more efficient ways of doing the spell. Or I could ask Savil to rotate to different things more often." 

"Both of those sound like good ideas to me."

"I'll try that, then, thank you for suggesting it." 

"Of course. Also, I've been thinking - your gate allergy hasn't been around forever, right?"

Vanyel tenses up a bit. "Um, it has as long as I've been a mage. But I guess not actually forever – I went through a Gate with Savil before all the things happened." 

"So it might not be an allergy like to beestings, it might be something I can fix."

"Maybe? I guess?" 

I don't have to try anything today, you can think it over.

"All right." Vanyel squares his shoulders. "I guess it'd be pretty useful for a lot of people if I could Gate places." 

"I'm also thinking about whenever you're sent on circuit - I can check in with you, but if an emergency comes up being able to travel suddenly on your own would give you more options."

"Gating is tiring even for people who aren't allergic to it. But - yes, it'd be good to have that option." 

"Like I said, we don't have to do anything about this today, but I wanted to mention it."

Nod. "I'll think about it."