Late in the afternoon, there's a slightly frantic knock on her shields. :Bella?: 

Yes?

:I - need help - can you come do the calm thing?: 

Coming. It's closer range than talking. She jogs over, on the way lets Gemma know she might be late.

Vanyel isn't in his room. He's hiding down by the river, in a sort of cave-grotto overhung with vines, so that he's completely concealed from all but one angle. 

She calms him before she sees him. What happened?

Despite the calming, Vanyel still has to take a few deep breaths and visibly refocus before he can speak. "I...think I made a bad decision at some point today or yesterday but I don't know when or what I could've done differently." 

Okay. What results are convincing you of this?

"Well, I, um, somehow spent the last candlemark down here thinking about how gods are terrifying and awful and Leareth is terrifying and I, I can't even trust my Companion and it might not be safe to talk to her if what's on my mind is Valdemaran gods, so - she wasn't actually listening to interrupt me, and I was – pleasedon'tbemadatme – I was starting to actually seriously thinking about killing myself? I mean, I was making a mental list of - ways that might work..." 

I'm not mad at you. I'm never going to be mad at you for telling me so I can try to help instead of not telling me so I can't. Usually she interrupts you? How does that work?

"...She just talks to me?" He hugs himself. "If she can tell I'm getting upset, she asks me about it and points out where I'm jumping to just the worst case scenario or being unreasonable, or she just does this wordless reassurance thing. Sometimes she suggests I stop whatever I'm doing and go for a ride with her or, I don't know, take a bath or go visit Savil, just do something else that's distracting. If the way I was feeling made her nervous she would tell me to go talk to Lancir – before you came, I mean – if she was really worried she would tell Taver too." 

Vanyel puts his forehead down on his knees. "Bella, I miss her. I - just want to be able to talk to her about what's actually important." 

Do you want to... ask her if it would be okay to bring up something with her with me mediating, and get her advance permission to calm her down if she freaks out, maybe even her advance permission to fuzz out the memory - I could put it back later unless I made a mistake - if it looks like it's not recoverable?

"I can't tell if that's a good idea. It sounds really risky but - but I don't know what else to do. If you think it's worth it then it probably is?" 

It's my first idea, I could try to come up with more. You could try just telling her without letting her read you - out loud, maybe, if you don't have very fine control with the mindspeech - that you're finding it hard to talk to her about anything right now because of how she reacts when you drift into certain topics. You could hang on while I go find a Companion to talk to because I haven't done that yet because I'm not sure when is good to bother Lancir about which one to meet and should probably just ask somebody else, and we could see how far I get that way.

"...Can I come with you? I, um, I don't know if I trust myself not to start panicking again, it seems safer to be near you so you could help me calm down again." 

I'm at all worried that the Companion I wind up talking to will act differently around you but I have about twenty yards on the calm technique if you want to be elsewhere in their field at the time?

"...Can you do the calm thing from further if you have the earcuff? I don't think it's a relay time right now. And it's yours anyway."

I can, yeah, we could go get it, though I did implicitly agree not to wander off with it unannounced. You could help me write a note to leave.

"Um, sure, I can do that." 

So she goes and gets it and leaves a note saying "working outside today, let me know if you need the earcuff off schedule - Bella" and then she goes out to the Companions' field and looks for a Companion to talk to, still calming Vanyel. She asks the first one she sees, "Hey, I'm curious about Companions but don't want to bother one who might have Herald stuff to do any minute, are there any who are grown up but not bonded yet?"

Of course! The Companion mare seems a little taken aback to be spoken to directly, but flattered rather than offended. She thinks for a bit. Sayshen isn't bonded? She's usually available – yep, just checked, she can be over in five minutes. 

"Thank you!"

Sayshen wanders over a few minutes later. The mare is a bit taller at the withers than Yfandes, and moves more slowly; she seems older, not younger as one would expect for a not-yet-bonded Companion. :Bella? You wished to speak to me?: 

Yeah, hi! I'm curious about Companions and wanted to talk to one who wasn't Bonded yet and your name came up?

:I...am not currently bonded: Sayshen clarifies. :I was, once: Her mindvoice sounds a bit wistful about it, but otherwise unemotional. :I'm definitely available to talk, and I may know the answers to more questions than the youngsters do: