"I would tell you if the country were at war!"

"I'd have to think I knew that to know that I would know."

"Is this about that time when I told you maybe you'd be a better pharaoh and you acted like I'd stabbed you or something -"

"S'not about specific things. Shouldn't know things. Shouldn't be or have anything that can't crumple like paper when it has to. Nothing except warm and affectionate, which I can't be anymore because I got too broken - "

"That is not what I wanted, Korva."

"I know it's not what you wanted! I don't know what you want, but I very much suspect that it's not me! But maybe it's enough to not be hurt more than I have to be - maybe you won't be very mad about getting it wrong if I'm very quick to be sorry that I did it wrong - "

"So you just kind of - stopped trying to be what Verita needed or what I needed or what you needed in favor of being something it wasn't worth losing my temper at?"

She sobs and pulls away.

"I am not proud of myself. I know that I should not be proud of myself. I am sorry that being kept in a cage and only being called on to have sex with you makes me more of a worm than I was before, I am sorry that being hurt makes me afraid of being hurt, I am sorry, I am sorry, if I should have fought you for longer then I am sorry - "

And she might be sobbing too hard to say anything else right now.

"Should I stay or should I leave?"

"Shouldn't have opinions - "

"I'm scared right now that I'm going to leave and that's going to be a - story you have about how it's a horrible mistake to ever talk to me or need me for anything - or that I'm going to stay and that's going to be a story you have about - I don't even know - and I just want to ever have any idea what I can possibly do that doesn't give you a story about how you're horribly victimized and had better shred yourself -"

She bites herself. Not hard enough to bleed. Her breathing evens out a little.

"Part of me that wants does not want you to go."

"Thank you. Okay. I'll stay as long as you want. I'm not - mad - just scared."

Nodnod.

"M'sorry."

"It's not great that you did it but I appreciate you telling me about it. Don't see how I'd understand otherwise."

"M'sorry for being scared."

"I'm not mad that you're scared, either."

"Not supposed to be. I know I'm not supposed to be."

"I mean, you're not in danger. So I guess you aren't supposed to be in the sense that - being scared is a warning about something, and it's a false warning right now."

She bites her hand.

"Not supposed to believe that I might be in danger. Very hard. Sorry I'm not better at it."

"I mean, I just told you I was scared. That I would leave when you wanted me to stay or stay when you wanted me to leave and then that'd be more reason for you to be miserable forever. So I guess it also makes sense that you might be scared of that. Since that's a genuine risk, I think."

"Not supposed to be afraid of you. I want - I want to not have to be afraid, but I'm not supposed to be afraid, if I'm - if it's bad to be, if I'm being unreasonable by being afraid, I don't know how to - I want to feel safe - "

"I wasn't - really trying to say you were being unreasonable, I was trying to talk about a way of thinking about it where you were being reasonable. I dunno. I'm sorry. I love you."

Nod.

"Want to feel safe. Loudest want. Want you to do things that make me feel safe. And I knew it was horrible, but I hadn't - I don't know - "

"I want to do things that make you feel safe. I love you, and it's my job, to make you feel safe."