Yeah. Probably.

I keep, uh - really wanting to have sex with you and then feeling like either trying to marry you really soon or deciding to have sex with you before I married you would probably be really stupid right now, because I am maybe not in a great mental space for making important personal life decisions. And - I don't wanna mess stuff up there.

I don't think I quite get what the thing about having sex while not married is but we could...use spells to imitate it in every way while not actually touching?

Snuggle. I don't think this actually solves the problem. 

Half the problem is that I don't even know if it matters, right? Like - you cannot actually safely leave me and there isn't actually a God with Catholic values ruling over our world who definitely cares what decisions I make here. And - I keep feeling like I should be conservative and do the thing that people mostly agree works, but I don't know if it actually matters at all, at this point, to do  a ceremony first? And if it doesn't matter then maybe it'd be better to do a ceremony when I'm less... sad. It's not like it'll make us much more or less stuck with each other either way.

But then I keep feeling like this isn't the sort of thing that I should make snap decisions about, and what if I make the wrong decision and regret it and can't go back and do it right, and stuff.

You could get magic that lets you go back and do it right?

Pff. I'm not really sure that's how things work, but I guess it's probably technically a possibility.

I guess I think - you are trying really hard to follow other peoples' rules. And you shouldn't.

I guess I'm worried that mine might not be very good, if I don't look at other people's.

I think you're really good. You're good for me. I think your judgment is good with Zana and little Connor. I bet it's good with you, too.

...maybe.

I guess if I had to guess I would say that waiting until we're married is probably not actually doing anything very important that being you definitely not leaving me isn't already doing. But you do have to not leave. Not ever. ...not for a long long long time, anyway.

I can't leave. I don't wanna be able to leave and also I can't.

Well, just - I could probably still come up with magic that would let you again if it was important. If you really needed to. And I feel like the thing about being married, or effectively married, is that - I would kind of stop feeling like you got to leave if being here was ever making you unhappy. There are probably still any circumstances where I'd help you leave? But the point where that happens is... later than you mentioning it. Maybe.

I don't want to get to leave. I don't want you to get magic for it. I don't want you to - feel like you can't expect me to be here.

Nodnod. Snuggle.

Well then you don't get to. And - I think being married would probably not be doing a lot of other important stuff for me on top of that, on this front. Although I probably still wanna do it in a while, just so we can be, like - a socially legible thing, for everyone else.

Nod. 

Can you say that again?

Uh - I want to at some point be able to explain our relationship in one word and have most people we run into be clear on the most important parts of it?

No, not that part. The part about how I can't leave.

Oh.

You can't leave. Not ever. Not allowed to.

Because you want me.

Yeah. Kiss. You're not allowed to leave because I want you to stay with me forever.

And you are a god and you can have whatever you want.

Wow that continues to be weirdly hot and produce a bunch of warm fluttery feelings. Maybe she should be using the mind meld telepathy. She's gonna turn full telepathy on so she can see all of his beautiful pretty thoughts. Because she's a god and she gets to have whatever she wants. And she wants him. Wants all of him, wants him so much, wants him forever.

He really really wants her to let him touch her. He wants it very badly. He is sort of annoyed about trying to have a conversation while wanting anything this badly - oh, the mindmeld is better. Lots better. No words. Someday maybe she'll want someone who has words but she says she wants him forever. He wants it to be forever. He wants her to tell him what to do so he can stop standing here desperately needing her with nothing to do about it.

- yeah honestly screw waiting.

She teleports them through Moonlight Falls and then back up to their bed in their bedroom in the demiplane, and - she actually has very little idea how this is supposed to work but they can always stop, right, if something's too much, because she gets to have anything she wants, and she has the mind meld on so he'll know right away - but mostly right now she wants him to touch her, however that's supposed to work -

He hasn't actually been with a girl before, he knows what's supposed to work but he has never tried any of it. Maybe she won't like it and she'll think he's dumb and bad at things. But she didn't want him practicing on anyone else. Anyway it's supposed to work like this, you get these clothes out of the way and touch someone all over until that starts to feel like not enough -

How could she possibly think he's dumb and bad at things when he loves her this much. He's lovely and good and hers. Hers hers hers, forever, so if it gets better than this he has forever to practice getting better at it. And honestly she already likes this a lot. 

- she did not actually get proper birth control but the Valar said she was very unlikely to get pregnant and that if she did the pregnancy would be slowed down and she honestly feels like after seven hundred and fifty thousand years of gestation she will probably be totally ready to take care of any resulting babies. So she is finding it kind of hard to care about that. Instead she is thinking more about what happens if she pulls his hair. She's going to find out.