Well, they could just keep him away from the things he wants to bomb, then.

That's really hard to do without infringing on peoples' rights.

...doesn't sound it? They're pretty sure there aren't any abortion clinics in Valinor, whatever those are, so he could just stay in Valinor.

Okay, so in a more general sense how are they going to determine who gets to leave and who doesn't?

Everyone gets to leave. Earth might not want some of them back unless they're willing to go back to jail, sounds like. So if that's how Earth feels then they'd probably prefer to stay in Valinor.

Okay. They'll need to cooperate with somebody, probably the government, on making sure people who aren't allowed to come back without going to jail can't, but if they're willing to do that it sounds like they might really be able to do some good.

They should have an appointment for them to talk to a lawyer in a couple days, their lawyers tend to be really busy.

That sounds pretty quick to them.

Okay, great. He has work to get back to, but he'll send Sam a message when they have a time set up.

Sam and Shaney can put them up until then if they're planning to stick around, and help them look through the internet in the meantime, that's probably the easiest way to pick up the cultural stuff they're missing.

Sure! What should they be reading?

Well, here's wikipedia; it's not completely reliable, but it's a good overview for most things. Was there anything that was mentioned that they're curious about?

A lot of things were mentioned. It might be useful to start with, like, trucks, and how they go? And lawyers, lawyers were mentioned.

Wikipedia has articles on trucks, and internal combustion engines, and lawyers. And many other things, too. They show the Elves how to follow links and use the search box, and hang around for a little while to make sure they have it down and don't seem too inclined to wander off to the rest of the internet and not be able to find their way back.

They are totally happy to stay on Wikipedia reading!

Shaney brings them lunch. She and Sam talk the situation over - they don't really want to be the first people to try living in Valinor, so that puts some limits on how much they're willing to do, but this is too good an opportunity to shut it down entirely. Then Sam goes out to play with the kids and Shaney comes back to check on the Elves.

The Elves are still wholly absorbed in Wikipedia. In particular in an article about Beethoven, looks like.

She doesn't know much about classical music but she can find some videos of his music being played if they'd like.

That's a thing? That is - amazing, wow, are songs magic over recordings? How does that even work?

...songs here aren't magic at all, but the tablet has a microphone if they want to try recording something to check.

They definitely want to do that, what'd be a harmless one to check with? Healing? Wakefulness?

...They have healing magic? Definitely do that one, they might not be able to check if it works here but she can send the recording to people who need it.

They should check if it works before sending it around, but they can check with a bruise. 

They try singing it.

Recorded healing songs totally work. The Elves are delighted.

(Also, they do want to hear Beethoven, can they?)

This is so amazing!

They can totally hear Beethoven; she finds them a concert to listen to while she goes to send the healing song around.

They are so so thrilled by the idea of recorded music.

There's lots of recorded music, too. Even if they want to stick to classical stuff they're not going to run out of new things to listen to before their meeting with the lawyer.

Then they will totally do nothing but listen to human music and cry and look ecstatic.