"I dunno, when you've heard it enough times it just sounds like a word."

"It's named after the town that used to be here before it merged with Hogsmeade, but the book didn't say where that came from."

"I suppose there wasn't realistically going to be a better answer than that to hand. So, it's a giant pipe-going snake, is that something you call wizard animal control about...?"

"Well, it depends what it's doing, doesn't it, if it was just a big snake then the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures would have no problem, but it can't just be that . . . Oh no."

"Are they unable to regulate and control magical creatures that are... what, too magical?"

"No, they can handle most things with enough wizards, but look at this." She holds out the book, open to a passage on basilisks.

Of the many fearsome beasts and monsters that roam our land, there is none more curious or more deadly than the Basilisk, known also as the King of Serpents. This snake, which may reach gigantic size, and live many hundreds of years, is born from a chicken's egg, hatched beneath a toad. Its methods of killing are most wondrous, for aside from its deadly and venomous fangs, the Basilisk has a murderous stare, and all who are fixed with the beam of its eye shall suffer instant death. Spiders flee before the Basilisk, for it is their mortal enemy, and the Basilisk flees only from the crowing of the rooster, which is fatal to it.

"Someone's been killing Hagrid's roosters."

"...well, unfortunately, I can make roosters but they come out too stupid to crow. Will recordings do?"

"Electricity doesn't work at Hogwarts, but a phonograph might if it doesn't need a real rooster . . . Wait, are you thinking of taking on this thing yourself?"

"I mean, it seems probably a good idea to go grab your favorite teacher, but if Magic Animal Control can't do anything then something will still need doing, right? Are your teachers better at magic animal control than the professionals?"

"Dumbledore definitely is, but I still think telling anyone about you is a bad idea. Muggles aren't allowed in Hogwarts and they would probably decide you count as one."

"...and then what?"

"Dunno, but it's nothing good. We all get expelled?"

"I'm sure they'll be more concerned with stopping the Basilisk before anyone else is attacked."

"I mean, it wouldn't be that unreasonable for summoning like this to be an expulsion offense but 'that demon is not magical enough' would be a weird justification for that."

"Yes, we also might get expelled for trying a ritual out of a book that didn't do what we thought it did."

"There you go. Say, what year is it?"

"Nineteen ninety-two."

"I see, I see, thank you. What the hell."

"What year were you expecting?"

"Well, if I were expecting it very much anymore I wouldn't have bothered to ask, now, would I. 2179."

"Wicked."

"Wait, you've gone back in time? That's supposed to be really dangerous!"

"No one offered me an informative pamphlet before I accepted the summon!"

"I'm not saying you did it on purpose, but you should still be careful! If you're from that far ahead I guess you don't need to worry about running into your past self, but don't try to do anything that contradicts what you remember."

"Oh, no, if this is my 1992 I'm off being five years old somewhere. But I don't think it is, I'm pretty sure mine doesn't have wizards."