Isabella can help anyway. An eidetic memory gives her quite the catalog of random "Florida Man" stories to consult for fringe human behavior.

What is wrong with humans -

- nothing is wrong with humans, things are wrong with her arrangements for handling them -

- but actually what the fuck is wrong with humans.

"I mean, some of this is just that there are so many of us. Florida has nearly twenty million people in it."

"...okay, yes, that'd contribute. But still. We're probably going to have more than twenty million people, we need a plan for, uh, people breaking into the hospital to fight their ex's new partner while she's giving birth. That is not a thing Elves would do even one time in twenty million."

"Yes, I imagine if you had twenty million Elves you would get different weird behavior. Well-intentioned artistic vandalism comes to mind."

"Yes, I can see that. Or problems with former prisoners of Melkor's, that happens sometimes."

"Florida Elf found in high security biohazard research facility violating safety protocols out of sympathy for lab rats. Florida Elf ejected from abortion clinic for singing sadly at patients. Florida Elf collapses on subway platform in aesthetic agony, nearly gets creamed by a train trying to reach opposite wall with paint. Florida Elf eats poison ivy as a snack. Florida Elf casually shoplifts $5,000 in miscellaneous goods, claims to have suspected price tags of being human decorations."

"Isabelllllaaaaa," she gasps in between giggles, "will you help me run this nation of ours, it'll be a disaster in so many different ways otherwise-"

"I would like nothing more."

"We can be co-empresses and let people be very confused about what that means."

"We could go with 'consul' or something if you don't want the speculation, Rome was ruled by two consuls. They were elected, but there are worse liberties to take with language."

"Ooooh, I like that. Consul. How'd it work for Rome?"

"Well, they had less drama than the emperors, but the answer is probably best summarized as 'humanishly'. Anciently humanishly, so, worse than today. But things associated with ancient Rome are automatically cool anyway."

"And we can hardly afford to pass up on chances to be automatically cool! And I shouldn't make fun of humanish rulers until I've actually done better than them."

"Plus keep in mind you get to start from rather closer to scratch than most people."

"I do. And with more resources, and being good at people honestly counts as a resource as much as anything else - it's not really about besting everyone, even if I'll find that satisfying, it's that lots of humans are not currently living under acceptable governance."

"I tend to be a little relativist about acceptability of governance, if less than most people, but do feel absolutely encouraged to distort my scale past recognition."

"We can cheat so much and make things so nice."

Isabella beams at her. "We should name the place. ...We should not name it Florida but we should acknowledge that I'm tempted to name it Florida."

Giggle. "We should nobly ignore the temptation to name it Florida. ...we could figure out Quenya for Florida."

"It's Spanish for Land of Flowers!"

"That'd be Lótelome, Lótenore, Lythlome..."

"Lótenore's pretty."

"Alright. Secretly Florida, the new kingdom in Endorë."

"The funny thing is Florida's not actually special, it just has unusual laws about reporting; there would be just as many per capita 'Missouri Man' or whatever except the journalists can't do it, but still."