When she thinks she can see him without crying again, she holds her baby close and walks silently back to Rana's.
The room has been replaced with - something else. She has no idea what this means. She has nobody to ask but Rana. Everything she asks places her further in his debt, of course, but it hardly matters now.
She steps inside.
"And anyway you can comfort me without having promised you mean to. If we run into something where it'll help."
She's so glad he likes it.
They still can't do more than kiss, but it can be some very high-quality kissing.
Yeah he is not going to try other things! Other things make her sick and sad. Kissing is nice.
Kissing makes her want other things!! This is weird because intellectually she knows that sex is horrible and that the last time he tried to take her clothes off she sort of panicked. Also she's pretty sure they're still not married and therefore they're not really allowed to do anything else anyway. Also it makes her sick, or something, that's probably at all important. It would be a bad idea on all of the levels if they did anything besides kissing.
She has never been frustrated with this before, except about, like, the abstract fact that it might keep her from getting married, but she is kind of very immediately frustrated about it right now? She's not even sure what she wants, except that it definitely involves being touched in some kind of way??
Maybe if she makes enough needy whimpering sounds he'll at least kiss her neck again. That was so nice last time.
He can do that.
He is pretty confused! Usually if someone obviously wants you and the debt from kissing is running their way you should have sex with them but last night it was a bad idea to take off her clothes! He's not really sure how much he can do without taking off any clothes. Some people can get off without being touched? Maybe that's the thing he should be trying to do? Or maybe that will also make her feel sick? Also he's not clear on the boundaries of what hurts very badly every time she tries it but it'd be surprising if it didn't hurt as long as one was wearing clothes. It's not that this isn't great but this isn't what Cecelia wants and if he only knew what to do -
- oh wait there's an obvious thing.
"What do you want?"
- well that's just not fair, how is she supposed to know that.
She supposes it is kind of unreasonable to expect him to know this if she also doesn't know this.
Well. She really really wants him to touch her, for reasons she doesn't entirely understand but which sure do seem weirdly pressing. She also really doesn't want him to touch her more than this, because, like, maybe it won't hurt, because maybe it only hurts when people are being awful and not trying not to hurt you, but she's still going to remember that they're not married and then panic and then -
Oh hey.
" - wanna be - married or whatever - wanna be yours - "
Well it's a good thing he asked because he would not have guessed that at all.
"Right. Okay. I want you forever, and I promise that I'm intending to love you and honor you and comfort you and come find you again when we're separated and - what else -"
- oh ok she just gets to have this. Probably she should - check that he knows how important this is, and stuff, and also they should say it better, so it's prettier and so her brain can be sure it counts.
" - supposed to say it with your name attached. If that's - if that's okay with you - I can put it right if you tell me - "
" - for humans, yeah. - we don't have to do it now if you don't want, this is a ridiculous time to do it, really, but - we were going to, and - "
"No, it's just - you understand that means we have to be very, very careful, right, not just for us but also for the children since you know their names -"
Forever forever forever, no takebacks.
"Okay. - um, then - do you, Tyelcormo, promise that you're intending to love and to cherish, to keep and to comfort and to honor this woman, to find her if separated and free her if caged, to be her husband and only hers, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, as long as you both shall live? - was that everything?"
"Okay. Then - I, Catherine, promise that I'm intending to love and to cherish, to keep, to serve, to honor and to obey this man, to find him if separated and - to tell him, if I'm sad or scared, so we can fix it. To be his wife, and only his, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, as long as we both shall live.
"And now I am yours forever."
He's so good! And hers now! Forever!
" - can I kiss you again, I really want to kiss you again - "
She does! Kissing is really good and kissing her husband is way better!
After a bit of this she remembers what she wanted before. And that they are MARRIED now, so it is ALLOWED. She is still kind of unsure what the desired end state is but she is PRETTY SURE that if your husband takes off your clothes that is not actually against any rules.
" - dunno if it'll work, but - I really want - before, when you - "
....maybe if he is very very slow at taking off this dress of hers so she can notice if it is, in fact, not good?
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