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May 31, 2020 7:01 PM
magical girl Sasuke's adventures in PMMM
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"How old is the oldest magical girl?"

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'Six thousand five hundred and seventy years old.'

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"That's a lot."

"If you remove the longest lived five percent of magical girls, what is the average time from when a magical girl wishes to when she witches or her soul gem's destroyed?"

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'Ninety six days, seven hours, and fifty nine minutes. Approximately.'

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So three months.

"How many witches does the average magical girl kill in her lifespan, also removing the longest lived five percent?"

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'Twenty-seven point one.'

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She writes down the numbers, both for lifespan and killing.

But she thinks that's about nine a month... Three every ten days? Kind of - twice a week? Which seems like a lot, but maybe most magical girls start older.

"What's the age range for magical girls to wish?"

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'Ages seven to seventeen, as measured by the most common human metrics.'

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Which puts Sue at the very bottom edge.

"What's the average age for a magical girl to wish?"

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'Thirteen years, three hundred and eighteen days. Approximately.'

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A lot of notes being taken here.

(This means almost no magical girls ever become adults...)

"What traits make a magical girl more likely to survive a long time?"

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'Carefully considered wishes. Speaking to her Kyubey extensively, especially early on. Hunting smaller targets more often. Meditating often, as well as other exercises designed to promote what humans would term mental well-being. Minimizing practice outside of fighting witches. Emotional resiliency. Any acquaintances selected carefully for emotional stability. Girls with unstable acquaintances are more likely to witch than girls with no acquaintances. Girls with stable acquaintances do better, but the emotional investment in acquiring them is dangerous. This effect is significantly more pronounced when looking only at relationships with other magical girls. Magical girls who have a close acquaintance witch are themselves over ten times as likely to witch within the following month.'

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"Do you usually tell magical girls this?"

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'They don't usually ask.'

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"Why don't you volunteer it, then?"

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'Do you expect everyone around you to volunteer everything you may potentially need to ever know?'

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"No. But - you've got that thing. A duty of care. You offered me the magical girl contract, so it's your job to make sure I know all the stuff to be safe as a magical girl, and most of the stuff to be successful. Same way parents gotta tell their kids that sticking a fork in an outlet's unsafe, and teachers gotta tell kids not to stick their fingers in the pencil sharpener, and bosses gotta tell employees how the equipment works."

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'It seems I don't know as much about humans as I thought. Young Kyubey need to be told less.'

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Yeah, right. And she's got some fine land down at the bottom of the world to sell him.

"Well, my cousin's studying to be a lawyer, so he knows all this type of stuff. There's legal outlines, for what's the minimum to communicate."

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'Well, maybe I can work on learning that, then.'

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She nods, slowly.

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'Do you have any other questions?'

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"...No. I don't think so. Not right now, at least."

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'Alright.'

He jumps up to the window.

'You'll make a great magical girl, Sue.'

And he's gone.

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She goes to relay the conversation to her cousin.

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