"Like what?"

"Like — if someone wants to believe that nobody at Auradon Prep would ever be a bully, and if Chad Charming is observably throwing people into garbage cans then either they'll come up with a reason why that's okay and not bullying actually or they just won't see it." 

"Chad Charming throws people into garbage cans?!"

"— well, he doesn't anymore, because he did it to Kaleva where I could see and I may have reacted in a way that Fairy Godmother would not have approved of if she had learned of it —" 

He laughs. "You're great. --How did you react?"

"...I might have thrown him into a wall and told him that I wasn't too clear on how they did things in Auradon but back in China we don't believe in picking on people smaller than we are. And loosely implied that if he did that again it would result in worse consequences than being thrown into a wall and lectured, but I was pretty sure I wasn't going to have to follow through on that one." 

He laughs again. "I love you!"

"I love you!" 

he wouldn't be saying that if he knew, though —

He should take it back. If he were as good a person as Chen thought he was he would take it back, he would explain-- maybe not all of it but enough that Chen knew that it was sick and bad, that Chen knew that Ben wanted him to throw him into a wall--

But Chen is smiling at him so instead he pulls Chen as close as he can and says, "I love you."

If he were really as good as he pretends to be he'd apologize. If Ben knew that — some part of him shies away from the rest of that thought — if Ben knew about how Chen actually is, he wouldn't be here, wouldn't be smiling, wouldn't be saying he loves Chen — 

— but Ben loves him, or at least Ben thinks he loves him, and it's not like Chen didn't know he was disgusting already. "I love you," he says, and lets himself be pulled. 

"It feels like as long as you're here things are going to be okay," he says. "I know that's stupid--"

"That isn't stupid." 

Ben is so close. 

It occurs to Ben that he could put his hands up under Chen's shirt and touch his back.

He should stop this. 

Ben's hands are so warm. 

He should really really stop this. Chen just said he loved him and he's taking advantage and Chen would never agree if he knew and--

And it's been a long day and Chen is so warm.

"I love you," he repeats, and his hands are gentle on Chen's sides and his back and his shoulders.

He should stop. Shouldn't let Ben be doing this, not without knowing, not without telling him. 

He makes a soft little sound when Ben touches his sides and pulls him closer and says "I love you" into his shoulder. 

"You can touch me too," he says quietly.

He shouldn't he shouldn't he shouldn't. 

The skin of Ben's sides is very soft. 

He moves away a little bit, touches Chen's stomach, his chest. 

Chen's shirt is riding up.

He touches Ben's back, his stomach, his sides, runs his fingers up the ridge of Ben's spine. 

"I love you." 

Ben gently tugs on Chen's shirt. "Can I--"

"Yes," barely a whisper. "Can I—?" 

"You can have whatever you want from me."

no no no no no don't promise me that I am not as good as you think I am — 

He takes off Ben's shirt, runs his fingertips over Ben's chest. 

He hisses, takes off Chen's shirt, and presses their bodies together.

"You're so warm."