This post has the following content warnings:
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
Chen doesn't actually like tourney. Never has, probably never will. He joined the team mostly because he didn't know how to tell their coach no and he stayed —
Well, he stayed for a lot of reasons, but mostly he stayed because of Ben.
+ Show First Post
polished-perturbation
"Any plan that involves hiding from your wife forever that you don't love her is not a good plan."
polished-perturbation
"...then maybe you find someone who you like and trust and is okay with a political marriage. And maybe you don't, and instead you figure out something else for heirs. But trying to hide from your wife forever that you don't love her is still going to blow up."
polished-perturbation
He considers the question, tries to separate it from how tight his stomach gets whenever he sees her. "....I think that if you don't love her and she doesn't know and she's already thinking about marriage and won't take 'not that fast' for an answer, that's going to blow up and it's going to blow up soon."
polished-perturbation
"I still think it's going to blow up if you keep dating her."
He really does think that, it isn't just that he's —
next-time-I-rescue-you
"You're probably right." He smooshes his head into Chen's shoulder. "You're such a good friend."
polished-perturbation
He cradles Ben and very quietly glows.
(If he knew, he wouldn't say that. Still.)
next-time-I-rescue-you
He feels-- better, having told someone and not having them judge him.
It feels like a load off his mind.
"If I break up with her will you hold me afterward?"
next-time-I-rescue-you
Ben breaks up with Audrey.
She cries. She stomps her foot. She calls him awful names. She says that she'll never love anybody ever again, and then she says she'll date Chad, and it might be to make him jealous but honestly the thing he feels is relief.
And that night he curls up in Chen's lap and cries into his shoulder and shakes and falls apart and doesn't say anything at all.
polished-perturbation
He cradles Ben and pets his hair and sings, very quietly, just so Ben has something to focus on, and holds him firmly together and lets him fall apart, and doesn't say any of the things he's thinking.
next-time-I-rescue-you
"No, I like it. I just wish I knew what it meant." Maybe if he wraps his fingers around Chen's and doesn't comment on it Chen won't comment on it either. "Maybe I should try to learn Chinese."
polished-perturbation
"I'm not the best teacher but I've heard having native speakers around helps." He won't comment but he will squeeze Ben's hand.
next-time-I-rescue-you
"I can say"-- he switches to Chinese-- "'hello, I'm so glad to be here in the wonderful country of China.'" His accent is atrocious.
