He does nap, for the first while. Then he wakes up, and types subtly on his lovely virtual keyboard, and plans. 

He does tourist things for three days in Vancouver, halfassedly. During and in between, he experiments. He practices getting things out of and into his inventory faster. He works out in the hotel gym, tracking the max he can lift and how much of what exercise gets him a boost. He does sudoku and teaches himself to spin the pencil on his fingers. He goes to a bar and chickens out completely and goes to a different bar and flirts clumsily with someone he'll never see again, to see if it boosts his Charisma. He debates the ethics of getting a high Charisma and commits to keeping it lower than his Wisdom. He tries to figure out what the heck grinds Wisdom. Is it reading philosophy books? Playing chess at this adorable cafe with chessboard tables? 

Eventually he's back in Boston, where he immediately signs up for a self-defense class. Based on his internet research, the best type of self-defense to learn is Krav Maga. Just reading the description is scary, but that's kind of the point.

His cheek heals up from the sleep healing buff.

Working out for part of the three days gets him +3 Strength, and that is enough for Bruce to notice physical changes to his body. Even if Bruce only ever lifted weights with his arms it's his whole body that is getting fitter faster which does not make that much sense. It's as if he isn't even building muscle his body is just being directly modified to fit his stats. That last point of Strength took a lot of exercising to achieve, the gain seems to slow down the higher the score. He also gets +2 Constitution from all the exercise.

Sudoku during the three days gets him a single measly +1 Intelligence and no more. Pencil spinning gets him +1 Dexterity, it probably isn't that useful a training method because his Dexterity is below average.

Flirting goes pretty well! he doesn't get a large stat gain only a +1 Charisma but the flirting itself is very successful, he is actually kind of fit in an attractive way now with his 14 Strength. The person he is flirting with seems pretty interested in this fit, cute and funny scientist and gives him their number.

He actually gains a +1 in Wisdom while attempting to figure out what grinds wisdom, but nothing from the things he actually tries.

Once he takes a single class of Krav Maga he will gain his first combat skill!

|For performing a special action you have unlocked a skill!|
Hand to Hand Combat: You know how to fight without weapons! Everybody was kung fu fighting.

And it seems like the basic knowledge of how to hold himself in a fight and how to land and take a punch just suddenly appears in his mind as if he has always known it. He isn't Neo in the matrix having just learned all of Kung fu, but he now knows enough to be a competent beginner with knowledge he was sure he did not have before.

The next three weeks are even more packed with experiments. Who's gonna be 1337? Bruce Banner is gonna be 1337! 

Getting stronger evenly regardless of how asymmetrically he works out is biologically fascinating and extremely convenient. Also he kind of likes how he looks in the mirror, wow. 

20 Intelligence heck yes! He will find other ways to boost it. Maybe keeping up with the scientific journals will help, he was doing that anyway and now he can read faster.

He hopes martial arts will help more with his Dexterity, since pen spinning didn't; it's weird that the same stat is used in DnD to pick a lock and dodge an arrow and applying that to real life could shake out all sorts of ways. If the Krav Maga twice a week doesn't do it he'll try a day of paintball.

He did not expect flirting to go nearly as well as it did, and he can't bring himself to explain to the woman that he's leaving town in 48 hours. He puts her number in his notes anyway, because if his beloved notes interface has a storage limit or the capacity to get jealous he hasn't noticed.

Getting a +1 in Wisdom for trying to figure out what grinds Wisdom and failing is hilarious and frustrating in equal measure. 

The sensation of knowledge appearing in his head finally makes Bruce understand why some people do drugs. He wants more skills.

He also wants to know how good he should be aiming to get before he tries to sign up for the protectorate. What does the Internet have to say on the subject of cape power levels and the line between good and weaksauce? (In the process, he finds a new website called Wikipedia. There isn't much on it yet, but it has promise.)

He also makes time to go to a firing range and take a seminar. If he's going to pursue the cape life, he should have at least a basic idea of How To Guns.

There is what appears a fan forum for Cape news called SuperFans.net . It has....not the cleanest website design Bruce has ever seen but its Forums seems to have a lot of gold among the usual garbage you find on Forums and the most useful info seems to have been pinned by the mods.

It seems there are a lot of weaksauce capes that get along fine in smaller towns, doing their game of cops and robbers and keeping the collateral damage down. You can be weaksauce and still have a career. It is when capes start getting protectorate ratings over 3 that they get scary, though there are plenty of weak capes that are scary as human beings and not because of their powers but they seem to get shut down quickly.

On protectorate ratings, Bruce learns that law enforcement classifies capes into categories and gives them numbers from 1-10 with 10 being the strongest. They are as follows:


Mover: Has a power enhancing mobility.
Shaker: Has a power with an area of effect.
Brute: Has enhanced strength or durability.
Breaker: Can shift into another state.
Master: Can control others or create minions.
Tinker: Can create or alter devices with futuristic technology.
Blaster: Is a ranged, offensive threat.
Thinker: Focuses on information gathering.
Striker: Has a power that is melee-ranged or touch-based.
Changer: Can alter their form or appearance.
Trump: Can manipulate powers in some capacity.
Stranger: Focuses on stealth or infiltration.

Bruce also gets the impression that capes that use guns, whether hero or villain, get taken out quickly. The fights escalate too quickly and other capes get involved to stop someone from using lethal means.


Going to a firing range and taking a course gets him:

|For performing a special action you have unlocked a skill!|
Firearms: You know how to use a gun! When you absolutely, positively, got to kill every motherfucker in the room; accept no substitutes.

More knowledge downloaded into his mind, his aim improves right in the middle of practice and makes the instructor look at him funny about how badly he was shooting before when now he is alright at close range. It's not just how to shoot a gun he gets some basic maintenance knowledge as well.

And he gains:

|For doing something with speed, you have earned +1 Dexterity!|

The Krav Maga classes increase his Strength +4 and Dexterity +2, The Paintball Increases his Dexterity +1 and Constitution +1 and gets him a LOT of bruises, lucky he heals after a nights rest.

Reading his Science Journals on biology actually gets him a surprising skill.

|For performing a special action you have unlocked a skill!|
Biology II: You know how living things work. Let's do it like they do on the discovery channel.

The system recognized his expertise when he used it reading those journals, and there is evidence that skills have multiple levels to them, he doesn't actually get any new info downloaded into his mind though.

He doesn't end up buying a gun, as it sounds like he'll still be safer without. Also, wow, that is a bloodthirsty pull quote for that firearms skill, yikes. Well, he knew powers were like that. It was still worth taking the class, though, both for the Dex boost and for the safety lectures.

His postdoc job starts, which leaves him with less time for training, but not none. The convenient way strength grinding works means he can do all his workouts on a stationary bike with a book or the latest edition of Nature; lecturing might be good for Charisma; and of course he still makes time for martial arts. A couple acquaintances ask why the sudden interest; he says he almost got mugged in Canada and realized he should know how to protect himself. He reads up on the Boston cape scene and major players therein.

He keeps trying different things to grind Wisdom. Meditation, walks in the park, long conversations with his new colleagues that wander over various subjects including the meaning of life and the nature of time and similar.

The stationary bike excercise and Krav Maga for a week end up getting him more Dexterity points than the planned Strength increase, and some Constitution too.

He earns in a week of excercise: +4 Dexterity, +1 Strength, +1 Consitution. He feels a lot quicker on his feet now and like he has more stamina.

Looking up the Cape scene in Boston actually earns him +1 Wisdom! Turns out a branch of the Fallen are in town, an Endbringer worshipping cult that incestously breeds its capes together to try and create more capes with similar powers. He also learns that the local proectorate team is getting a new leader soon as the old one tranfers out.

His meditation doesn’t earn him Wisdom but it does earn him a skill.

|For preforming a special action you have unlocked a skill!|

Meditation: You can clear your mind. Patience you must have my young padawan.

And now it is much easier to clear his mind of stray thoughts when he meditates...It isn’t that useful.

When Bruce next checks Superfans.net he has a private message from “SiesmicLizard” who is well known as an admin on the Forums.

You know what, if there's going to be an Endbringer cult it's probably for the best that it be full of people dumb enough to think inbreeding is a good idea. Still: yuck. So many kinds of yuck. At least he's gaining stats! He should pick up some skills next.

Why has a forum admin messaged him? Surely he hasn't broken the forum rules, he's been mostly lurking with the occasional question. Only one way to find out. MldMnnrdAcadmc opens SiesmicLizard's PM.

You are logged into superfans.net.

> You are viewing: Private messages.

SiesmicLizard sends: Careful what you search for, people might think you are a new cape looking for info :D You should use a VPN just in case or at least sign out before you browse. Someone might come to the wrong conclusion and not everyone is as nice as i am. Dragon VPN is pretty good. Be safe out there.

Um, yikes. Yeah let's go with yikes. He spends entirely too long crafting a response, but when he sends it it's over a VPN, and a good one. Not the Dragon VPN, though, he doesn't trust this person much more than anybody else.

Thanks for your concern and your advice. I really am just an excessively curious normal person, but really that's all the more reason to be careful! :)

SiesmicLizard sends: If i did meet a new cape, I would tell them to join a team. It is a lot safer. Even villians don’t last long solo. But I would reccomend to any new capes to join a hero team if they can manage it, hypothetically of course :D

Did you read that the Boston protectorate team is getting a new leader? Might be a good time for any new capes to join up. Pity i dont know any. If you ever meet any you should let them know. :3

Well that lie failed epically. Still, as "I know your secret" messages go, it was pretty non-ominous. And the advice to join the Protectorate seems pretty sound, maybe even well-intentioned. But he's still pretty sure they'd laugh him out of the building. He's good at lots of stuff, he's strong and fast but not inhumanly so, he's got a map and an inventory and notes, but none of that adds up to being useful as a hero. He needs to learn more.

He takes a first aid and CPR class, and goes to a parkour club's beginner night. He also hits the MIT libraries for books on computer security, programming, conflict resolution, car repair, and escapology.

First aid class gets him this skill:

|For preforming a special action you have unlocked a skill!|

First aid: You know how to give emergency care. You aren’t dying on me today!

The knowledge he learned from the class solidifies in his mind a bit more, it is easier to recall once he gets the skill. He also gets knowledge on a lot of improvised ways to create the neccesary tools for first aid.

Parkour night gets him:

|For preforming a special action you have unlocked a skill!|

Free running: Traverse difficult terrain with ease. Run run run jump.

It’s not just knowledge that he gains, it is muscle memory as well and with Bruces now very atheltic build he becomes suddenly decent at parkour! Though there are still people a lot better than him, the skill doesn’t make someone an expert.

Once he gets to the library and picks up a guide on computer security he gets a new notification.

| Would you like to learn the [computer science] skill from the book: The Complete Guide to Internet Security? Y/N |

Yes. Obviously he wants that. He is like unto Pac-Man, consuming every skill in his path.

The book dissapears in a blinding flash of light! Leaving Bruce holding only air.

|For preforming a special action you have unlocked a skill!|

Computer science: You know how to operate computer interfaces. I gave it a cold… I gave it a virus. A computer virus.

Bruce gets very very basic information in his head about how to operate multiple operating systems, he doesn’t actually learn anything new on how to use windows he already knew what he was doing there. But he learns how to use Linux and Mac and a dozen other more obscure operating systems. Bruce even learns how to use the old IBM punchcard computers.

But the book is now gone, and it did not belong to him. It’s a shame Bruce started his devious life of crime so soon after getting powers.

Mmmm, knowledge--hey, wait a minute! He did not mean he wanted to literally consume the book! Darn power could've been a bit more specific.

He returns the other library books intact a couple days later, plus a new copy of the vanished one, explaining sheepishly that the original was dropped in the bath and that he will definitely be more careful and not such a butterfingers going forward. Then he grabs the same collection of subjects again, this time from a used bookstore so he can eat them with impunity.

Om nom nom nom. Tasty knowledge.

The books on programming just gives him the prompt on learning the computer science skill from them with an added warning.

| Would you like to learn the [computer science] skill from the book: A beginner’s Guide to java? SKILL ALREADY LEARNED |
But actually reading those books the old fashioned way does change how his computer science skill appears on his character sheet. It now says 12.0 % to next milestone next to it. Maybe this is how to progress to the next level of the skill since the Biology II skill Bruce has shows it is possible to progress a skill.

Consuming the book on conflict resolution nets him:

|For preforming a special action you have unlocked a skill!|

Negotiation: You can negotiate to get what you want. You were right about one thing Master, the negotiations were short.

This time the knowledge loaded into Bruces mind is a lot less explicit and more...feelings on how to interact with people and discern their motives so as to use their wants as a lever to get your wants.

The book on car repair nets him:

|For preforming a special action you have unlocked a skill!|

Repair: You can fix simple objects with appropriate materials. There always seems to be a way to fix things.

The information is far more wide ranging than repairing a automobile. Hundreds of small solutions to simple machines being broken flood his mind momentarily overwhelming him before they go to settle in his long term memory. He feels like McGyver right now able to fix anything with duct-tape and a paperclip.

But not actually all that much information specifically on car repair. Bruce might have gotten more on that specific subject by reading the book itself, but the book was $3 used and the general repair skill was probably more useful as a whole so no big loss.

The escapology books dont prompt any skill learning but they are very interesting and he gets +1 Wisdom while reading about clever solutions to certain bindings.

If Bruce was worried about being secretly evil, he'd be worried about that negotiation skill, but he's pretty sure he'll be using it for good.

He was more interested in general mechanical knowledge than car repair in particular anyway, given how he doesn't have a car, and the sensation is glorious. 

Learning escapology the normal way is fun, if less effective, and the Wisdom point is nice. It sort of seems like the way to grind Wisdom is to stop trying to.

With these skills in hand, Bruce feels more competent, but he isn't sure what to learn next. Not because there aren't thousands of subjects worth studying out there, but because he's not sure which ones are the most useful for a superhero. Well, he got good at academics by going to school a lot; maybe he'll best way to get good at heroics is to join the Protectorate. Do they have a webpage for new capes who want to sign up?

A quick Yahoo search shows what you would expect from a government webpage for the local boston protectorate, clunky and poorly designed. All it really has on joining up is to actually call them or just show up at the front desk at the local office. The rest is just propaganda about how great they are.

On superfans.net however there is a guide by someone who is actually looking out for new capes. A certain SiesmicLizard.

They recommend calling ahead from a payphone away from your home so it can’t be traced and showing up in a face concealing Domino mask to protect your civilian identity. You never know who would want to poach a cape from the Protectorate with less than friendly means. Also included in the guide are common legal traps less friendly Protectorate branches might want to put in a contract, though this mostly applies to underage capes in the Wards program. Adult capes can just leave without too much issue most of the time.

They sure do seem friendly, for a creepy internet stalker. He can't actually find a reason not to take that advice.

Also, he really needs to join the Protectorate sooner rather than later. Every time he sees a news story about a villain harming someone, his mind starts spinning scenarios of what he could have done to help if he had been there, what gear it would have been useful to have in his inventory, what tactics he could have used. Hitting the gym helps a little; on Krav Maga days, sparring helps a little more. But he needs to be doing something, and doing it as part of a team, with gear and legal sanction, is infinitely better than doing it alone. Also, with his map and some more repair skills, he bets he can be useful as support for other capes.

Before he does anything, though, he needs to have a solid grasp of what he wants from the Protectorate and what he wants to offer them. He can patrol, he can do dispatch, he can fix gear. He wants money, enough to quit his other job, and various useful equipment, and training, and he wants to be able to expense books.

He mail-orders a mask that will fit over his glasses, and takes the red line to the green line to the ass end of nowhere, and makes the phone call.

Bruce gets +1 wisdom during the planning session, apparently, his actions have been judged wise by the system again.

"Hello, this is the Boston protectorate headquarters how can I help you?" Says a youngish sounding female voice over the payphone once he gets to one and calls the protectorate public line from it.

"I'm a new cape looking to join your team," he says in a friendly voice. "Though I realize that's hard to verify over the phone." There's nobody else on this street, but he's keeping the receiver between his face and the street anyway.

“As long as you know the fine for coming in and falsely claiming that to us is 1500 dollars for money wasted on power testing, we have had people claim that just to meet the team you know, then that’s no problem! When can you come in? And you don’t have to answer now if you don’t want to but what roughly is your kind of power?.”

He names some good times this week, starting two days out. "And my power is kind of a weird grab-bag, it'd take a while to explain it."

“You can come straight into our main office if you want, or if you are worried about your civilian identity you can make your way to north station in heavy clothing and if you give us a height we can have approximate body doubles around just in case. Abusing this service carries heavy fines however.” She tells him still in a friendly professional voice.