SHe'd almost looked forward to the nonsexual intimacy stage, when he'd thought he'd be able to do it with Asher.
He does his best to hide how miserable he is.
SHe'd almost looked forward to the nonsexual intimacy stage, when he'd thought he'd be able to do it with Asher.
He does his best to hide how miserable he is.
After a minute and a half or so, Marlo pulls away and says "We should probably go to breakfast."
"Should be interesting." He's not sure what that's going to involve and he's not sure whether he wants to know just yet.
"I hope you do."
(This is, in fact, true; he does hope Lev gets the things he wants. He's just not at all sure it would actually be good for him.)
"Yes, of course," he says, and follows her, goes over how he wants to word the message from Ron.
"He said that he loves you and misses you and of course he wants to hear from you, and that — this isn't the exact wording, but that he can't imagine God loves you any less than he does, and if he wanted you to do something that would make you miserable for your entire life he'd be a terrible brother."
He waits to see if there's anything else she wants to say to him, and then goes and finds Raine.
She's reading; it's not hard to pull her away to somewhere more private.
"You weren't here last night," she says, like it's a question.
"And he says to tell you that he loves you, and he misses you, and he's glad you have someone here. And that he's okay and he gets to dance and Ron's cooking is good and none of the girls are as pretty as you, but — I'm trying to remember the words he used — it feels like someone tore out a piece of his heart and trapped it in ex-gay camp and beat it up and made it want to take showers in the middle of the night.
He worries about you."
Unspoken: So do I.
...Raine is smiling, and also looks like she's about to cry.
"The thing with the showers is just so I can shave without being interrupted, it's not a big deal or anything — thank you."
He nods, and then — she looks happier than she did before, but even so — "He also said I should hug you."
Raine folds her arms in and leans against his chest, tucks her face into Marlo's shoulder.
Lets herself cry, just a little, very quietly.
Next Monday, Christine says in group, "you've all done very well! You have all"-- she glances at Marlo-- "made progress in overcoming your homosexuality. Today, for the first time, you're going to put it into practice. We're going to introduce you to the girls' side."