Marlo holds Lev against his chest, puts pressure on his back and his shoulders and the back of his head. 

"Everyone who has ever had a chance to be close to you and didn't take it must have been blind." 

"Thank you."

It feels really nice to be held. Marlo's chest is broad and warm and makes him feel safe.

"There's another thing too."

"What is it?" 

He shouldn't touch Lev's hair, but — it's right there and he's so soft and Marlo finds himself putting a hand on the back of Lev's head. 

He makes a happy little noise and nuzzles Marlo's chest.

"I mean-- I don't want to say my parents are bad. They love me and they want the best things for me. They made a lot of sacrifices to come to America and they don't want me to be poor the way they are and, and it's hard to get into a good school. But Christine said the thing about distant and demanding parents and... I got a B once in my entire life and they yelled at me for three hours and then I was grounded until my next report card? I mean, not that I go anywhere but. It's the principle of the thing."

He holds Lev tighter, keeps a hand on his hair — he shouldn't he shouldn't he shouldn't but it's so good when Lev is happy — "I'm so sorry." 

"It's not that bad. They love me. Probably if I were normal it wouldn't be a root, but." He nuzzles Marlo some more and then rests his head on Marlo's shoulder. This is really nice. "All I have to do is get a perfect score on my SATs and get straight As and qualify for the USAMO and become straight and then my parents will be proud of me."

"You should not have to get a perfect score on the SAT for your parents to be proud of you." 

He's curling in on himself.

"Sorry."

"No, hey, it's alright, I'm not angry at you — you don't have to be sorry —"

"You don't have to be angry at my parents either, they love me."

"...you still shouldn't have to get a perfect SAT score for them to be proud of you." He strokes Lev's hair. 

It occurs to Lev that if he moves his head just a little tiny bit then his lips will be against Marlo's neck and maybe Marlo won't notice.

He does notice. 

He can't really bring himself to mind. 

He can't move or do anything because it might make Marlo notice, even though literally the only thing he can think about is how much he wants to. Marlo is warm and he feels safe and protected and like someone cares about him. It feels like electricity is dancing along his skin.

He pulls his head back, just a little, and kisses Lev's forehead. 

Oh, that's--

His mouth opens and he flicks his tongue a little bit against Marlo's neck.

He makes a soft whimpering sound and holds Lev closer. 

(He shouldn't he shouldn't they shouldn't he shouldn't —)

Lev shivers when he hears the noise.

"Do you like me?" he whispers into Marlo's neck.

"Yes," he whispers. "More than I should." 

"Do you want me?"

"I want you to be happy and safe and I want you to have everything you need and I want you to never feel lonely again and I. Want you." 

Lev kisses him. 

It's soft and gentle and sweet.

Marlo doesn't usually like kissing; he'd tried, with Melissa, but it had always been a thing he did for her, not a thing he did for himself. 

Kissing Lev is completely different. Lev is — warm, and soft, and Marlo doesn't have to think about where to put his hands or how to tilt his head, it just — happens. 

"I love you."

"I love you."