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Nov 13, 2019 8:46 PM
in which kelsey's brain continues to want to throw a sad spike at things and bard is very accommodating
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Sometimes I find it really hard to think about what the good thing to do would have been, and I find it easier to answer 'what would Jesus have done'.

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Pray really hard and pull off a miracle? 

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Yeah, almost definitely.

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Yeah. I thought about trying that. 

I guess - it would be better, if I had enough faith to try that and have it work. 

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When you met the other Maitimo he was - badly injured, right?

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I didn't actually talk to him. Ryan did. I guess.

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Nod.

 

He was captured, earlier in the war. I was in charge, after that. We wanted to rescue him. We couldn't think of a way to do it that wasn't hopeless. So - we didn't. For about fifty Earth years - much longer for him.

 

Then a friend of his arrived, and learned what'd happened. He was very angry at me, for not trying. He walked there with a harp. 

There was a miracle. He returned with my brother in his arms.

I was - kind of angry with God for that one, for a long time.

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I don't know if it would have worked.

Like - man, I wanna be someone who tries things that might not work, if they'd be better. I had this talk with Alex, after the nightmares stuff happened, about how he thought he would've killed Billy and it was better that I talked to him? And I said I was scared that someday there'd be a really awful thing that only I could do, but that had to be done, and what if I couldn't do it?

But I did. And it worked.

 

I just - I dunno anymore.

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