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Maxwell Wax leaves The Grotto. Not a bad coffee shop by any means, but it's not a fun environment late at night. The students at UC*D start showing up to down buckets of caffeine, cover the tables in textbooks, and study silently until they fall asleep. Nobody talking, nothing interesting to eavesdrop on. People get antsy about that old guy from the philosophy department staring at them, when they're not sufficiently distracted by their peers.
The University of California at Sunnydale is a quiet place at night. Rumors of violent crime going around the student body keep them from causing a ruckus on campus after sundown. Max couldn't be happier about this- his apartment has thin walls. It's good to be able to get some sleep. Not like back at UCLA, no sir.
Oh, wait. There's someone out here, actually. Approaching quickly. Approaching very quickly. Someone with a reALLY MESSED UP FACE GOOD LORD SLOW DOWN WHAT ARE YOU WHAM.
Max is on the ground, and a bodybuilder with a freakish, wrinkled face is crouched over him, growling. Max is not pleased by this situatioCHRIST OW OH GOD WHY WOULD SOMEONE BITE HIM WHAT THE
unblinkered
cross_and_bow
"That's what happens when they die. It makes vigilante rescuing much less legally complicated."
unblinkered
He stares again.
"So- and that was a crossbow, I assume you can kill them with crossbows- so... I believe you. Or, I believe that explanation more than the "plausible lie", not dismissing the possibility of a third and even simpler explanation you're keeping secret."
He sits down.
"Why didn't I know about vampires?" he asks.
"So- and that was a crossbow, I assume you can kill them with crossbows- so... I believe you. Or, I believe that explanation more than the "plausible lie", not dismissing the possibility of a third and even simpler explanation you're keeping secret."
He sits down.
"Why didn't I know about vampires?" he asks.
cross_and_bow
"The vampires don't want everybody and their cousin after them, and the people who know about the vampires would like the vampires to continue being motivated by secrecy. Is I think the dynamic, I don't know in detail."
unblinkered
"Haha! Heh. That's... that makes sense. Sure." He laughs weakly to himself. A question bubbles up from the back of his mind, where it has been waiting its turn to be asked. He thinks he can answer the question himself, by making up some plausible response, based on the things he already knows. A nice, palatable answer that puts his world back in order. But... questions have to be asked. Even if questions hurt to ask.
"So... vampires. I don't have to worry about... magic, or anything? Just a weird... dusty sort of rabies thing, maybe a little government coverup?"
"So... vampires. I don't have to worry about... magic, or anything? Just a weird... dusty sort of rabies thing, maybe a little government coverup?"
cross_and_bow
"No, magic also exists. Also many species of demons, though vampires are by far the most common."
unblinkered
Max freezes. And then breathes, and chuckles to himself.
"Okay, now I don't believe you."
"Okay, now I don't believe you."
cross_and_bow
"Okay. You'll probably sleep better that way. Though, I recommend moving out of Sunnydale. This place is a vampire magnet."
unblinkered
A voice from that same place in the back of his head goes, you believed in vampires at her word, because that was the easiest thing for you to believe, and now you're disbelieving in magic despite her word, because that's the easiest thing for you to believe.
He tells this voice to shut up for a second.
"So... how'd you get into vampire killing? I sort of doubt you just happened to be walking by with a crossbow."
He tells this voice to shut up for a second.
"So... how'd you get into vampire killing? I sort of doubt you just happened to be walking by with a crossbow."
unblinkered
"...I want to say, "not". But... while I'm here not believing it, what sort of mystical calling did you end up with?"
The little voice is, naturally, keeping track of all the obvious ridiculous lies, just in case.
The little voice is, naturally, keeping track of all the obvious ridiculous lies, just in case.
cross_and_bow
"My title is 'Slayer'. As in vampire slayer, though I'm also on tap to deal with non-vampire nasties."
unblinkered
"And I assume you got that job from the back of a cereal box."
ha ha ha HA HA HA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE MAGIC ISN'T REAL, he says to the tiny and increasingly smug voice in the back of his head.
"That crossbow or whatever that was was the prize inside?"
ha ha ha HA HA HA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE MAGIC ISN'T REAL, he says to the tiny and increasingly smug voice in the back of his head.
"That crossbow or whatever that was was the prize inside?"
cross_and_bow
"I bought the crossbow online, man. The job I inherited from a dead predecessor and I got the notification from a - something. Power That Is."
unblinkered
"Sure, sure." He's too nervous to chuckle this time. "So... magic's a thing, is it? I don't suppose you have any magic tricks you can do to prove that kind of thing."
He really hopes she doesn't have any magic tricks she can do to prove that kind of thing.
He really hopes she doesn't have any magic tricks she can do to prove that kind of thing.
cross_and_bow
"I haven't been able to get any of it to work, I don't know what's wrong with me. I realize that kind of puts a hole in my story."
unblinkered
See? See, tiny back of head voice? How d'you like them apples? That's right.
"Sure does, doesn't it? That's reassuring."
He's standing there, bleeding from a vampire bite in his shoulder, waiting for an ambulance, making fun of a girl who just saved his life for maybe lying about magic. Cool.
"I, uh. I don't have to worry about this beyond the blood loss, do I? What's the story with vampires, transmission-wise?"
"Sure does, doesn't it? That's reassuring."
He's standing there, bleeding from a vampire bite in his shoulder, waiting for an ambulance, making fun of a girl who just saved his life for maybe lying about magic. Cool.
"I, uh. I don't have to worry about this beyond the blood loss, do I? What's the story with vampires, transmission-wise?"
unblinkered
"Well, he did not. Unless all that dust that got in my mouth counts."
How long does it take for an ambulance to arrive?
"So how well-kept a secret is this? Do vampires ever get arrested by the cops, are they in on it? What if it was a squad car instead of you and your mystical calling?"
How long does it take for an ambulance to arrive?
"So how well-kept a secret is this? Do vampires ever get arrested by the cops, are they in on it? What if it was a squad car instead of you and your mystical calling?"
cross_and_bow
"The dust doesn't count. Some cops know, some are in really deep denial. Vampires are stronger and faster than humans to the point where I can't actually come up with a way for a cop to arrest one who didn't want to get arrested - if a squad car had pulled up you'd hope that the vampire didn't want to be inconvenienced by being shot at and having to kill the cops."
unblinkered
Widened eyes. A thing that the police can't protect him from, at all. Frightening. Nearly died a minute ago. Okay.
"So- guns, not a deterrent? Was that a magic crossbow, then? You could patch your hole with that, maybe."
There's a familiar whining sound in the distance.
"So- guns, not a deterrent? Was that a magic crossbow, then? You could patch your hole with that, maybe."
There's a familiar whining sound in the distance.
cross_and_bow
"The crossbow's regular," she says. "I don't really want to be here when the ambulance pulls up, dude, so - don't go out at night and get a crucifix."
unblinkered
"What, like, don't buy crosses at night, or- I'm assuming the other thing, but I want to be sure of-"
Wait, no, that's not the question to be asking. There are more important questions. There have to be.
"So are they weak to crossbows? Why crossbows and not gu- no, wait. No. I have to know..."
He has to know, that much is certain. He doesn't yet know what he has to know, specifically. And the sirens are getting closer.
Wait, no, that's not the question to be asking. There are more important questions. There have to be.
"So are they weak to crossbows? Why crossbows and not gu- no, wait. No. I have to know..."
He has to know, that much is certain. He doesn't yet know what he has to know, specifically. And the sirens are getting closer.
cross_and_bow
"Avoid going out at night, vamps go up in flames in the sun. Separately," she shows off her necklace, "get a crucifix, vamps don't like them. It's wood, in the heart, that dusts them, but you're not strong enough to do it. And that's it from me tonight." She turns and jogs away.
unblinkered
The ambulance arrives, the paramedics see his shoulder, and they usher him into the vehicle. He gives them the Slayer's "plausible lie", and then tells them that he thinks he was attacked by a vampire. The paramedics give each other meaningful looks, as if this were a not-uncommon experience in their line of work.
This prompts Max to accusatorially quiz them on what they know about vampire attacks. They are evasive and unhelpful, and try to assure Max that it must have just been the drugs and that they don't know what he's talking about. He doesn't believe them, and becomes fairly belligerent by the time they arrive at Sunnydale Memorial Hospital.
He is similarly accusatory towards the nurses, doctors, and assorted hospital staff. The Slayer's description of law enforcement seems to apply- some obviously know and are lying, some are deeply in denial. They manage to bandage him up, but are eager to discharge him. Possibly faster than they're strictly allowed to. It's something like 5 in the morning when they push him out the door, flatly denying his accusations and making it clear they don't want to deal with his crazy.
The sun isn't quite up, yet, but it threatens to emerge at any moment. It's probably safe, he decides. What kind of idiot vampire would be out and about minutes before the sky fills with instant death?
He starts back towards UC*D to file a campus violence report.
This prompts Max to accusatorially quiz them on what they know about vampire attacks. They are evasive and unhelpful, and try to assure Max that it must have just been the drugs and that they don't know what he's talking about. He doesn't believe them, and becomes fairly belligerent by the time they arrive at Sunnydale Memorial Hospital.
He is similarly accusatory towards the nurses, doctors, and assorted hospital staff. The Slayer's description of law enforcement seems to apply- some obviously know and are lying, some are deeply in denial. They manage to bandage him up, but are eager to discharge him. Possibly faster than they're strictly allowed to. It's something like 5 in the morning when they push him out the door, flatly denying his accusations and making it clear they don't want to deal with his crazy.
The sun isn't quite up, yet, but it threatens to emerge at any moment. It's probably safe, he decides. What kind of idiot vampire would be out and about minutes before the sky fills with instant death?
He starts back towards UC*D to file a campus violence report.
unblinkered
The following day, Max has a TA fill in for his classes. He has potentially more important questions to worry about than the ones posed by undergraduate philosophy students.
He drives downtown by his usual route- which takes him past an unassuming store known as the Magic Box. Today, conveniently, it's not surrounded by police tape, as seems to happen at least once a month. He assumed it was a front for some drug thing, previously. Now, he's concerned it might harbor more significant things than crystals and crackpots.
He brings with him a couple of strips of plywood he's nailed together in the shape of a cross. He's unsure if he needs something that's been blessed by a priest- or treated with some compound that- or something other than- there's just no way anything, even vampires, could be repelled by perpendicular lines- but he had the supplies lying around and felt he'd be better safe than sorry.
He also has a personal firearm. In case the business with crosses and heart-piercing isn't on the level. He vaguely recalls how to use it.
He enters the Magic Box.
He drives downtown by his usual route- which takes him past an unassuming store known as the Magic Box. Today, conveniently, it's not surrounded by police tape, as seems to happen at least once a month. He assumed it was a front for some drug thing, previously. Now, he's concerned it might harbor more significant things than crystals and crackpots.
He brings with him a couple of strips of plywood he's nailed together in the shape of a cross. He's unsure if he needs something that's been blessed by a priest- or treated with some compound that- or something other than- there's just no way anything, even vampires, could be repelled by perpendicular lines- but he had the supplies lying around and felt he'd be better safe than sorry.
He also has a personal firearm. In case the business with crosses and heart-piercing isn't on the level. He vaguely recalls how to use it.
He enters the Magic Box.