"Yes, that's one of their more convenient features," says Cara. "I really don't know why official Slayer training doesn't prioritize crossbow training more. It's almost as if they don't want to keep Slayers alive past their teenage years."

"That's disquieting."

"I strongly agree," Cara says. "Luckily for you, ensuring that the Slayer under my care has a record-setting lifespan has been my goal since before I joined the Council."

"Twenty-three."

"Okay. Do please beat that."

"With pleasure. I look forward to attending your twenty-fourth birthday party. Assuming, of course, the Council doesn't attempt to replace me with someone else."

"Why might they attempt to do that?"

"Some of them don't like me very much," she says. "We sometimes have disagreements about the way things are run. These disagreements have occasionally led to larger, council-dividing arguments. That reminds me, I ought to inform them of your existence at some point." She surveys her floor. It is covered in bluish-grayish goo. "I think I'll need to get a mop first, though."

"Are any of them likely to be inclined to consult me about how I would prefer to be Watched? That seems like it might be important, but hey, I'm just the only Slayer they have unless they decide to murder me."

"They probably won't murder you," she says, then reconsiders. "Well...okay, it depends on how you define 'murder'. Anyway, no, they do not have a history of consulting the actual Slayer when discussing Slayer-related policies."

"So they might pick somebody I do not like and instruct this person to stalk me. I think 'watch' does turn into 'stalk' when the object of the verb is not consulted."

"That is, in fact, what happens to that word in that instance. So yes, they might do that. Unless I argue them out of it. I am reasonably confident in my ability to get them to back off."

"I like you. You have my permission to Watch me, at least provisionally. Anybody else may run the risk of being treated like a stalker, and my dad is the chief of police. Include this information if it seems helpful."

"Seventeen. Birthday's in September."

"In September, someone is going to kidnap you, drug you, suppress your Slayer powers, stick you in an enclosed space with an unusually powerful vampire, and wait to see whether you live or die. Act surprised."

"How about I just don't let them do that?"

"I like that plan. That's a good plan," says Cara. "I'd say not to tell them I told you, but if you successfully avoid them, they'll probably guess."

"I assume this is some kind of myopic attempt to make sure that there aren't prolonged tenures for Slayers who coast on luck and super-strength, but it's pretty astonishingly myopic."

"That's exactly what it is," says Cara. "Although I almost think 'myopic' is a bit too charitable. I prefer 'mind-bogglingly idiotic', myself. This is one of those council-dividing fights I mentioned starting."

"Right. I will try to avoid the situation entirely, possibly by spending the month of September backpacking with my mother in rural China or something, I bet I could talk her into that, but if somebody actually comes at me with the drugs I'm considering it attempted murder and acting accordingly, just to let you know."

"That would be entirely justified," says Cara. "There's a few people on the Council I would object to you murdering, but they are not the type to come at you with drugs. Going backpacking in China will not be detrimental to you, but they'll probably just wait for you to get back."

"Oh joy. Well then. I don't think my dad can easily get me out of a murder charge, so maybe I should be learning to fight to subdue?"

"That's probably a good idea anyway, in case you fight something human enough to be salvageable," says Cara. "I can add that to the curriculum. It'll probably be most helpful to practice on vampires, though. I know basic combat maneuvers from Watcher training but I'm a bit pathetic at them. Speaking of which, we should probably figure out a schedule for your official training."