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Ari is out on a nice walk. It's never cold enough for his tastes in Vancouver (why'd he have to pick the one city in Canada that hardly goes below zero?) but it's January, so it's at least pleasantly brisk. He outright refused Sally's offer of a coat. Her mothering instinct would be more appropriate if he hadn't grown up in a climate that shaded from "harsh Midwestern November" to "the Arctic Circle."
He reaches a nice little coffee shop he found near the harbor and decides to go in for one of those icy coffee slush drinks they have. He opens the door.
That is not the nice little coffee shop.
He looks through the glass of the window. That is the coffee shop. He looks through the door. That is not the coffee shop.
He shrugs and makes his way in, trusting in his knowledge of the Ways and his ability to turn most threats into gravel.
Inside the not-coffee shop is a bar. It's a nice bar. The floors are clean, the furnishings look fairly high-quality, there's a cool illusion of exploding stars out the window; he's willing to give this one a firm three stars on decor alone. He strides up to the counter and knocks to see if he can summon a bartender of some kind.
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bitterchill
powershines
"It's all right. I have basically no concept of what people are and are not supposed to talk about with whom, considering."
bitterchill
"Yeah, there's an adjustment period. But that's what post-hermitage friends are for, I guess. Social graces and explaining what a coffee maker is."
bitterchill
"So, there's this plant - not magical, but a blessing from the Mothers in my opinion - called coffee. It makes these beans. If you take the beans and crush them and steep boiling water in them, you get this black drink, also called coffee, that tastes like the icy hand of death. But then, if you add milk and sugar and about a million other things, it's delicious! And a coffee maker is a thing that you use to crush the beans and steep the water more efficiently so you don't end up with coffee full of crushed beans. It is a miraculous invention."
Now he's thinking about coffee. He requests some from the bar. And a case of that mead to bring home.
Now he's thinking about coffee. He requests some from the bar. And a case of that mead to bring home.
powershines
The bar quotes him a price. Would you like to open a tab?
"Huh. Okay. Who are the Mothers?" says Rapunzel.
"Huh. Okay. Who are the Mothers?" says Rapunzel.
bitterchill
Ari puts down Sally's card. "Sure! Sally'll love that she's got a tab open at an extraplanar bar."
Ari hums, trying to think of how to explain faerie politics and/or religion. "The Mothers... so, the faeries are divided into Winter and Summer, right? Each side has its little royal family, with the Queen Who Was, the Queen Who Is, and the Queen Who Is To Come. They're known colloquially as the Mothers, the Queens, and the Ladies. I thought you might be the Lady of Summer for a bit, with your impossible hair and that flowery aesthetic thing you've got going. Anyway, the Ladies are the least powerful but they can do things in the world, the Queens are more powerful but they're pretty strictly limited in what they can do, and the Mothers are godlike and try to do as little as possible. But when they do things, they're big. I feel like coffee is great enough that it must be their work."
Ari hums, trying to think of how to explain faerie politics and/or religion. "The Mothers... so, the faeries are divided into Winter and Summer, right? Each side has its little royal family, with the Queen Who Was, the Queen Who Is, and the Queen Who Is To Come. They're known colloquially as the Mothers, the Queens, and the Ladies. I thought you might be the Lady of Summer for a bit, with your impossible hair and that flowery aesthetic thing you've got going. Anyway, the Ladies are the least powerful but they can do things in the world, the Queens are more powerful but they're pretty strictly limited in what they can do, and the Mothers are godlike and try to do as little as possible. But when they do things, they're big. I feel like coffee is great enough that it must be their work."
powershines
This credit card doesn't belong to you, objects the bar. And the person who it belongs here isn't here to authorize its use.
"So they're nice, they do things like invent plants that make beverages?"
"So they're nice, they do things like invent plants that make beverages?"
bitterchill
"Dangit. She did give it to me with explicit permission to buy anything less expensive than a midsize sedan, though."
Ari glances around, then rules that an interdimensional bar is probably far enough away from the Nevernever to talk shit about the Mothers. "Not.. exactly. Faeries are never "nice". There's varying levels, like, there's a difference between Jenny Greenteeth who eats lost children and the cobbs who fix shoes, but the cobbs still don't have a sense of morality and they wouldn't turn down a nice kid stew if it was handed to them and they didn't think it was a trap. Same goes for the Mothers. Nobody really knows how they think, but it's probably not along the lines of "let's make a delicious beverage for the good of humanity!" Though I have heard they're fond of tea. Anyway, I act like they're nice because Belinda raised me religiously, and it's kind of a bad idea not to at any rate. They know everything."
Ari glances around, then rules that an interdimensional bar is probably far enough away from the Nevernever to talk shit about the Mothers. "Not.. exactly. Faeries are never "nice". There's varying levels, like, there's a difference between Jenny Greenteeth who eats lost children and the cobbs who fix shoes, but the cobbs still don't have a sense of morality and they wouldn't turn down a nice kid stew if it was handed to them and they didn't think it was a trap. Same goes for the Mothers. Nobody really knows how they think, but it's probably not along the lines of "let's make a delicious beverage for the good of humanity!" Though I have heard they're fond of tea. Anyway, I act like they're nice because Belinda raised me religiously, and it's kind of a bad idea not to at any rate. They know everything."
bitterchill
"Well, they could theoretically know anything. I don't think they actually care enough to see and hear everything through the mortal realm and the Nevernever, but it's probably safe to assume they can hear any conversation about themselves. I think alternate universes are safe, though. Not that they're petty enough to strike me down for saying that they're "not nice", but it's best not to slight them anyway. They're still faeries."
powershines
"Can they know what people are thinking? Or only - see and hear whatever they like?"
bitterchill
"Yeah, of course. I could hear what you're thinking with the right spell, though I'm not because it'd get me beheaded by the White Council and it's awfully rude at any rate. But hearing thoughts isn't quite as much of a- power threshold, in my world, as you seem to want it to be, more of a morality threshold. And there's the aforementioned issues with faerie morality. Might be a good thing you're not from around here."
bitterchill
"I'm guessing there's no mind-reading plants lying around? What kinds of things do the flowers do, anyway, apart from glorious magic hair?"
powershines
"There is actually a mind-reading plant, a moss not a flower, but it works the other way. Sometimes my friend holds it so he can think at me without interrupting whatever else we're doing, and tell me things I missed by spending eighteen years in a tower. It wouldn't let anybody read anyone else's mind without permission from the person getting read. There's a tree in the backyard that makes tasty fruit. There's a tuft of grass that will weave things; it does my hair, mostly, but I think it could do fabric. There's a vine that will hold things you give it."
bitterchill
"Huh. I wonder if thought-projection would work with my world's magic? It sounds pretty convenient, and it's not Third Law territory... I kind of want to try this now. Thanks, I needed something to do this weekend. And the plants sound handy, but I'm not sure they measure up to imposing your will on the universe. I think I'll stick to my brand, mind-readers aside."
bitterchill
"Oh, that's the White Council I mentioned who might behead me. Human wizards have to follow seven Laws of Magic or our lives are forfeit, those being do not kill, do not transform another, do not read the thoughts of another, do not alter the mind of another, do not reach beyond the barrier of death, do not travel against the flow of time, and do not seek knowledge of what lies beyond the Outer Gates." Ari was taught these laws more recently than most wizards, but that doesn't mean he hasn't memorized them enough to list them off in sequence any time he's asked. Sally is an aggressive tutor with strong feelings about her friends not getting their heads cut off.
bitterchill
"Those, ironically, are the worst of the bunch. They sound pretty harmless, but those actions actually weaken the fabric of reality itself. And outside of reality is Bad Stuff. Even the faeries don't mess around with that stuff, except maybe the Mothers; only humans are physically capable of it, and only humans are arrogant enough to do it." He pauses. "Well, arrogance might not be the right word. The Council could work up a better information campaign about that "you could literally end the world" stuff."
powershines
"I thought faeries knew everything. They don't seek the knowledge of what lies beyond those Outer Gates?"
bitterchill
"The Mothers know everything. They're probably up on the knowledge itself, but that's less "seeking" and more "having". And it's "seeking knowledge" because that covers more bases than "summoning" or "interacting with" the Outsiders, which is closer to the point. That, even the fae won't touch with a ten-foot pole. But even seeking knowledge is dangerous for humans. Closest estimate I can give you of what the Outsiders are like is "unpleasant" and "tentacled", and that's about as much info as humans can get before we start going off the rails."
powershines
Rapunzel seems disgruntled about this, but shakes her head and moves on. "Can anybody learn to be a wizard?"