He takes a cautious sip from the dragon blood. Considering the glass, he pours the rest down his throat.
His eyes bulge and he spasms slightly. "Fuck! That is- that is some aftertaste. Jesus God, it's like if knives had a flavor."
Suzanna snickers. "I was hoping for something like that. Thank you, Vampire Jesus."
Leo coughs violently. "Nope! Initial impression very good, aftertaste fucking awful. Not a fan. The neighborly religionpires can keep their dragon snacks."
"So, newcomers, what's your fun new take on being bloodsuckers? Leekath's folks are nice and friendly and turn into bats and marry food, mine are delightful rubbery monster things contained in an ectoplasmic fleshsuit. Oh, and do you have the sunlight thing? The sunlight thing sucks."
"Sunlight thing being catching fire? Yes, it's unpleasant. Well, you can see my lovely forehead ridges. And we don't have souls and as a group we're very into the apocalypse, though I'm starting to think of giving it up in light of recent events. Other than that... we explode if you put a bit of wood through our chests, that could be notable. Not much else to speak of."
"Direct sunshine and we sparkle, no spontaneous combustion. Very conspicuous, therefore very illegal," says Maggie. "No apocalypse, not so friendly, if we're going to marry food we turn it into not-food first, and in terms of my physical composition what you see is what you get, though what you see is in fact nigh-invulnerable unless another vampire goes after me or somebody ignites me."
"I burn in the sun," says Leekath, "much worse than even a really pale human, if I'm not wearing a suncloak or a sunscreening spell. I usually go with the spell."
"Wait, hang on, why would the vampire shadow government get involved? If I see someone aggressively sparkling at me I'm less likely to think 'oh my land, I'm surrounded by vampires!' than 'somebody got lost on the way to New Orleans'."
"Well, you might be able to get away with it if the human doesn't tell anybody," shrugs Maggie. "Or you eat them right away and then they of course don't tell anybody. But if there's somebody talking too much about anything a little funny, the Volturi figure you can't handle being a vampire and should instead handle being a pile of ashes, see?"
"Still doesn't make sense, but okay, Sparkle Party. At least you still eat people."
"Amen, sister," says Suzanna. "I mean, I've turned people, but if you needed to leave them half full or something, I'd never have managed."
"How come you haven't turned him?" wonders Maggie. "More to the point if you keep biting him how do you avoid it?"
"...You keep using that word, what do you mean?"
"...Turn...ing?" says Maggie.
"I don't know what that is."
"Holy hell," says Maggie.
"Magic. All right. Back where I come from magic is less suited for gay dad assistance and more suited for murder, sorry for the confusion. Back to the other confusion. Vampires aren't born, they're made. At least sensible vampires. You take a human, you drain their blood, you give them a mouthful of yours, and bam, new vampire."
"For ours it's more complicated- way more complicated- but yeah, the principle's the same."
"And my kind don't do that at all, that's weird and gross," says Leekath. "Why would you even want to?"
"Well," says Maggie, "I never have, but if one day I locate the love of my life and she has a heartbeat, standard procedure is turn her and keep her forever."