at the end of all things feanorians in a sunnyverse
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"Can we get an overview of the whole agenda -"

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"It's in your stack of papers somewhere. First, priest. Second, apocalypses, third, field experiments, fourth, magic, fifth, other open avenues of investigation, sixth, budget, seventh, demonic languages, eighth, Quenya words for everything."

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"There are so many things we need words for!"

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"Yep! But not just yet. Tyelcormo worked up a list of field experiments -"

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"Verify stakes, beheading, sunlight, holy water. Measure how much sunlight and how much holy water; test artificial lights with the same spectrum and intensity as sunlight; test water blessed by various other religious rituals, test symbols of other religions. Test bullets with a splinter of wood in them; test the presumably non-lethal effects of bullets without a splinter of wood in them. Test their healing. Test their senses. Test what kinds of containment are adequate. Supposedly they cannot enter a residence without permission: test what constitutes a residence and what constitutes permission. Test whether they starve, and whether they can feed on animal blood, and whether they can feed on synthetic blood. Talk to them and figure out if any of them are not dangerous to everyone around 'em."

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"Seems like that last one should maybe be first so we don't kill a lot of innocent people."

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"I was gonna follow them around until they tried to do some murder. Obviously we can't go killing random ones not presently doing murder."

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"The books imply they're uniformly evil because they don't have a soul."

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"Honestly I don't give a shit what the books say but also, what? Do humans even have souls to start with?"

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"No idea, how would we check?"

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"Dunno. Then I've got the list of aspirational field tests: do Silmarils destroy them? Can you untransform one back into a human? If the things are not obligate evil, do many humans wanna be them to get out of the aging thing? What's the biggest thing you can declare a residence? If they are obligate evil, what would an eradication program look like, and if they were all eradicated is there any path to re-introduction?"

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"The process of turning people into a vampire. Supposedly it involves drinking the victim's blood and then having the victim drink your blood. How much blood? Can it be interrupted? It'll be a hassle to test -"

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"A hassle? It'll involve a lot of murder."

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"We can probably find volunteers, or at least people who deserve it, but I agree it's low-priority."

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"Do we have an estimate of the scope of the harm here, that's something I very much want to know -"

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"Not much of one. Some cities in the U.S. have violent crime rates forty times those of other cities, but not all of that is going to be other-creatures. I haven't dug much into what share is. About thirty thousand people in the U.S. die by homicide every year. If that's half other-creatures, and the same rate worldwide, it'd be 300,000 a year."

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"Could easily be a tenth of that, though."

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"Yep, I have no idea."

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"Field tests with other demons - what are they, how many kinds are there, can they safely be summoned, where and how do they live their lives, how are they killed, are they even evil or do some of them just accidentally destroy the world sometimes. Why any of this is a secret - how many important humans know about it? Does a human who witnesses something remember it? Does a human who witnesses something nonhuman about us remember it? What happens if you tell a human about all of this and provide evidence? How are the humans involved with the various organizations that interfere in catastrophes recruited?"

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"Other human legends, and whether they have more grounding in reality than we'd initially assumed. Faeries? Leprechauns? Loch Ness monster? Santa Claus?"

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"Means of disposal of bodies that prevent them from returning as vampires."

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"Do we want a word that distinguishes dead-with-body-destroyed and dead-in-a-manner-vulnerable-to-this -"

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"We are not there on the agenda yet."

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"I think maybe we should skip to it, the rest of these conversations are going to be so difficult to have with ugly words."

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