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Strange Von Neumann probes sitting in craters distributing swords is an excellent system of government

The probe cruised towards the system which had been designated G-11381701. Decelerating at a leisurely 0.2g, the probe's sensors identified any parts of the interstellar medium which could pose a collision threat, and its lasers locked on and pushed them away via ablation. At the same time, the probe activated its self-repair mechanism to adjust the magnetic pinch-bottle on Main Engine 2, whose performance had degraded by 1.2% over the past year. None of this rose to the main computer's conscious awareness. It could have recalled any of these decisions if it needed to evaluate them, but otherwise this maintenance occurred semi-autonomously, much like a human walking along an uneven path without consciously thinking of where to put their feet.

The main computer was focused on something much more interesting: sensor data incoming about G-11381701. The system featured three rocky planets and two gas giants, as well as a brown dwarf in a very distant orbit. The second rocky planet from the star, designated G-11381701B, lay within the habitable zone, and spectral analysis indicated it had atmospheric oxygen as well as methane, a near-guaranteed biosignature.

A few weeks later, a brief 3g burn brought the probe into a comfortable polar orbit of G-11381701B. The planet featured a technological civilization which was engaging in some infrastructure and resource extraction projects, although no radio signals or heat signatures characteristic of large factories were detected. The probe was initiating more detailed scans when an anomaly occurred.

The probe suffered multiple simultaneous system failures. The main engines broke, tiny holes in fusion bottles activating failsafes and shutting the engines down. The main fusion reactor was less lucky. The probe ejected it milliseconds before it exploded in a burst of atomic glory, a brief flash whose radiation sent a baleful electromagnetic pulse through the probe's systems, as well as producing brilliant aurorae worldwide. One of the lasers and a radar array also broke, but the probe barely noticed, as something even more pressing had occurred. Buffeted by the explosion of its reactor, the probe was knocked out of orbit. Frantically running damage control, the probe was at least able to activate its attitude control thrusters, but with the main engines offline a soft landing was impossible.

The probe's altitude fell, and it desperately moved to at least slow its descent. Spending a few precious clock cycles to scan the terrain below, it saw three reasonably safe landing sites it had enough thrust to reach. One was on the shore, one in hilly terrain, and one in the ocean near an island around fifty kilometers from the continent.

Version: 2
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Strange Von Neumann probes distributing swords is an excellent system of government

The probe cruised towards the system which had been designated G-11381701. Decelerating at a leisurely 0.2g, the probe's sensors identified any parts of the interstellar medium which could pose a collision threat, and its lasers locked on and pushed them away via ablation. At the same time, the probe activated its self-repair mechanism to adjust the magnetic pinch-bottle on Main Engine 2, whose performance had degraded by 1.2% over the past year. None of this rose to the main computer's conscious awareness. It could have recalled any of these decisions if it needed to evaluate them, but otherwise this maintenance occurred semi-autonomously, much like a human walking along an uneven path without consciously thinking of where to put their feet.

The main computer was focused on something much more interesting: sensor data incoming about G-11381701. The system featured three rocky planets and two gas giants, as well as a brown dwarf in a very distant orbit. The second rocky planet from the star, designated G-11381701B, lay within the habitable zone, and spectral analysis indicated it had atmospheric oxygen as well as methane, a near-guaranteed biosignature.

A few weeks later, a brief 3g burn brought the probe into a comfortable polar orbit of G-11381701B. The planet featured a technological civilization which was engaging in some infrastructure and resource extraction projects, although no radio signals or heat signatures characteristic of large factories were detected. The probe was initiating more detailed scans when an anomaly occurred.

The probe suffered multiple simultaneous system failures. The main engines broke, tiny holes in fusion bottles activating failsafes and shutting the engines down. The main fusion reactor was less lucky. The probe ejected it milliseconds before it exploded in a burst of atomic glory, a brief flash whose radiation sent a baleful electromagnetic pulse through the probe's systems, as well as producing brilliant aurorae worldwide. One of the lasers and a radar array also broke, but the probe barely noticed, as something even more pressing had occurred. Buffeted by the explosion of its reactor, the probe was knocked out of orbit. Frantically running damage control, the probe was at least able to activate its attitude control thrusters, but with the main engines offline a soft landing was impossible.

The probe's altitude fell, and it desperately moved to at least slow its descent. Spending a few precious clock cycles to scan the terrain below, it saw three reasonably safe landing sites it had enough thrust to reach. One was on the shore, one in hilly terrain, and one in the ocean near an island around fifty kilometers from the continent.