"Sherlock, seriously? I'm Zeke," he says. (Click.) "Vaguely disappointing to meet you, but maybe you can make up for that."

"No," says Tea, serenely.

"Is there some reason why you decided I needed another vampire?"

"He was about to eat that girl. I decided in the interests of good-faith negotiations with the Slayer I should probably stop him. You have expressed an opposition to murder so I chose the nonlethal option."

"Fair enough." She glances at Zeke. "You may speak."

"I am so much less interested in making out with you now," says Zeke to Tea. "What the fuck?"

"As he describes, I am opposed to murder. Are you in immediate need of food, because if you are I will let you have some of his."

"I'm not, like, about to die, but I'm kinda hungry, yeah."

"You may, without extraneous action, drink non-sapient-sourced blood."

"What the fuck, seriously," says Zeke.

Tea approaches and hands him a spare container of non-sapient-sourced blood.

Okay, sure, fine. Nom.

"I suspect you won't be satisfied with the answer 'I'm a fairy'?"

"You're one kinky fairy," says Zeke.

"I'm really not." Sigh. "You may accompany us where we're going."

"Why the hell not," snorts Zeke. "Where are you going?"

"The Slayer promised me an effective ward against sunlight, contingent on good behaviour."

"Although I do wonder how many vampires I can acquire before this offer dries up."

"She didn't technically extend the offer past me in the first place, but I see no reason not to ask her what she thinks of an extra," says Sherlock, pointedly without mentioning the Gem of Amara itself.

"If good behaviour just means not eating people, sign me the fuck up," says Zeke. "Especially if it gets me out of this kinky fairy magic."

"We'll see if I like your idea of good behavior and trust your sense of when to apply it enough to let you go without orders."

"...What?"

"Left to your own devices you eat people. I do not have to leave you to your own devices."