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Taliar in Evil Arda
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Or you can be scared afterwards. You're delightful when you're scared, all shivery and psychologically interesting - kiss -

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Taliar kisses him happily. I love it when you find me psychologically interesting.

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Fascinating, he says contentedly, and then puts his hand on Taliar's throat and says - can your healing aura fix brain damage, this is a dangerous game if not -

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He feels an absolutely delicious little shiver of fear. Yes, this is exactly what he wanted.

Yeah - yeah, it can.

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Then Maitimo's hand digs painfully into his neck and a moment later his head starts spinning. 

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It's so terrifying and so satisfying, he genuinely doesn't know if Maitimo is going to kill him, the thrill of fear and uncertainty is utterly beautiful— love you, trust you, love you—

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I know you do - my miracle - it'd take an Elf a long time to lose consciousness but humans are more fragile -

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Taliar is so happy to be Maitimo's miracle. And he's getting dizzier and dizzier and his neck hurts and his lungs hurt and it's so good and he loves Maitimo so much and weird things are happening to his senses - he was so right to have faith in Maitimo's ability to make terrifyingly arousing death threats, it is so very both of those things -

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He doesn't let go. He kisses him. 

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He tries to kiss back, with mixed success. He doesn't even think of trying to fight him, not once, not as his vision darkens and his thoughts all fall apart and consciousness slips away.

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He lets go. He carries him to the bed and undresses him and strokes his soul in case anything happens and waits for him to wake up.

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Soul-touching while unconscious doesn't seem to do much.

 

He wakes up with bruises blossoming on his throat, scared and disoriented, and he opens his eyes and looks at Maitimo and grins brilliantly as his memories sort themselves out. Remembering the context sharpens the fear, but also makes him enjoy it more. Love you. Trust you. Want you.

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Good. And he puts his hand on his throat again, but very gently. Close your eyes. Tell me you're mine.

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He closes his eyes and he's so afraid and it feels sharp and bright and lovely -

I'm yours. Always.

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And he's rough, but not frighteningly so, except for the hand on Taliar's throat to tighten if Taliar starts to relax, and Taliar keeps his eyes closed and is so afraid and doesn't fight him and it's glorious.

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It's absolutely perfect, even better than he thought it would be - thrilling and beautiful and so satisfying to the part of him that wanted this, but on top of all that there's something transcendent in it, in giving himself up so completely. When it's over, when the fear fades away, it leaves him with a feeling of absolute peace and contentment that's closer to being high on trust songs than anything he's ever felt without them.

Wow. Wow. You're amazing. I'm amazing. We're amazing.

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I love that you asked. I'm happy I waited for you to ask. I think - if I could really feel secure that things were going to be like this forever - I'd be okay with giving you the right to refuse me -

 - though I like it so very much, how you don't even think about it...

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Taliar smiles. I love you. I like it when I can reassure you about things but I'm not sure how to manage this one...

Although now that the subject comes up, something occurs to him. He isn't sure whether it's reassuring, but it seems worth articulating anyway.

I think - even if you gave me back my right of refusal, or after the war when my original reasons for giving it up no longer apply, I'll want to give it up again once in a while, for a day or a week at a time. Because you like me so much this way, and because I kind of like me this way too. I wouldn't want can't-refuse-you to be the default for the entire rest of forever, but I've had so many amazing experiences and learned how to appreciate so many amazing things that I don't think would've happened if we hadn't started out this way...

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How about you try to track when you'd have asked me to stop, and let me know...

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He hesitates.

...I can do that, he says. I will if you ask me to. It's not trivial, though, and it'll - break part of the way I keep myself feeling safe around you - if you go past a hypothetical refusal I'm going to need to put myself back together in a whole new way. But if it's something you really want from me, I can do it.

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I think I would like watching you put yourself back together a whole new way.

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...Taliar laughs softly.

Of course you would. Okay. I love you.

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He smiles and cuddles up and enjoys feeling safe and warm and happy and in love.

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And is safe and adored and loved.

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