remedial goodness for Chelish archdukes
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"That makes sense. So, in Iomedae's country of Lastwall, and I think in old Menador as it was before the Asmodeans, it is not honorable to order a woman to your bed, and it is not honorable to capture a woman on a raid and keep her as a prisoner and bed her. It is a crime, and it is a great wrong to her, and it is - there are men who do it, but none who would be proud they did. I take it that this is not how it is perceived here."

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"Not really, no, but I don't see what it even has to do with - I want to go see my girlfriend." She's not really exactly precisely his girlfriend but he feels like that's unnecessarily complicating things. 

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"Is she a slave."

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"Are you a slave."

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Glower. "Yes."

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Honestly he's much less worried about it when the slave is the man but as a principled matter it is still a crime in Lastwall and still in fact the same crime. It is not impossible for a man to be wronged by a woman. Though it doesn't sound like it's really what is going on here. 

"So. Starting with the premise I just explained, that it's dishonorable to order someone to your bed, the teachings of the goddess forbid - situations where one person is a slave. The aim is to protect people who are being mistreated. That may well not describe your particular situation. But - you can't make a rule that's just 'don't mistreat people', not when no one knows what that means. Would it be a satisfactory solution if you were allowed to marry and could marry your girlfriend?"

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"I - maybe?" He is much less confident that his arguable girlfriend would want to marry him than that she'd like to see him tonight. He is much less confident that he wants to marry her. He doesn't actually really want to think about which of them would be in charge if they were. "What makes that okay?"

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"In a marriage - in an Iomedaen marriage - both people promise to behave honorably towards each other. It is important that they actually live up to that, but - I think that the people of Menador can do that."

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"What does that - you said that it was dishonorable to order someone to have sex with you, but lots of married people can do that and I can't, and neither can my girlfriend." Sort of. It's complicated. They do not need to bring hypothetical other people who neither Guim nor his arguable girlfriend probably wants to have sex with into this.

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"I think a lot of marriages here also do not - involve everyone involved behaving honorably as we understand it. And possibly do not involve people having made the promises that we think are important to marriage. I am glad that you haven't been ordered to have sex and that your girlfriend can't do that. Given that, I'm not actually worried about your relationship with your girlfriend, just about - children you might have with her, and about what kind of rule would stop people from being captured for sex or ordered to have sex or given no good alternatives to acquiescing to sex." 

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"If I have children with her, they'll be free."

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"And they'll be - provided for?"

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"If I live, sure."

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"What generally happens to children if their father dies?"

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"I don't know. The mom raises them, I guess, if they're too big to get rid of." He was not really intending to think about all of this tonight.

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"Having a child is - a pretty serious responsibility. You want to make sure that you're ready to step up to it, before you get a woman with a child."

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This is way more thinking about children than Guim wants to do right now! 

"I mean, I'm not planning to die, if it comes up. But that seems like it applies to everyone? And you didn't tell all the free humans that they couldn't see people."

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"I think that probably lots of them are also doing things that I think are a bad idea. But cases where everyone is choosing badly are different than cases where one person does not have much choice. Those are the thing I am concerned with first."

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"....so, can I choose to go see my girlfriend?"

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"I am going to try to suggest some rules to the Archduke that stop cases where someone doesn't have a choice without stopping you from seeing your girlfriend. Can you think of a good rule that does that?"

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"If you're only concerned about the captures you could make a rule about them, and not about everyone else. Though I kind of think a lot of other people also don't have a choice? If you actually wanted people not to sleep with people they could order then you would ban most of the married people from sleeping together, and also let me go see my girlfriend."

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"Do you just mean that most married women promise obedience to her husband?"

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This guy said that like that was a completely different thing even though that's literally what he just said meant you couldn't have sex with someone. "I mean... you just said that people shouldn't have sex with people who aren't allowed to refuse them, right?"

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"Yes. I - yes. For various reasons, mostly because the promises and protections are mutual and were voluntarily made, marriage does not inherently cause the same problems as sex with captives, but - it would not be very surprising if it does cause many of the same problems here....are marriages here voluntary."

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