---

And he's in a place of featureless white. 

It doesn't hurt. There's no raw howling void in his mind. Yfandes isn't there, but she isn't exactly gone either. 

And, in fact, the thought that comes to him is one he really should have thought of the moment he had this idea. And honestly, he should have had this idea yesterday. 

“Vanyel." Blue eyes in a hidden face. "I already told you the last time, this isn't really how you're supposed to do it." 

"There's information I need to have. And the god you're a - face for? a part of? - has it. I don't know if that means you have it or if I have to talk to the horrible pillar of light again, but - are you and the other Velgarth gods against Leareth's plan because you have an arrangement with Pharasma about souls not going to their horrible afterlives?" 

....The Shadow-Lover's glittering blue eyes shift from sorrowful and kind to - nonplussed. 

"Does that silence mean I need to talk to the pillar again?"

"....No. I am - no." A pause. "That one was the answer to your question. Herald Vanyel, as always, you have a choice. But - I think that for once, there is information you have that is relevant first and foremost to your choice." 

"Information that I have and you don't? Because - right. The gods can't see right now. It's all happening at - the human level - and it doesn't make much sense either but at least we can talk to the man." 

He closes his eyes. "I don't know what you want. I don't know what the god you speak for wants. But I think," and in his head he's addressing the blazing pillar of light, now, "I think You don't want ten million people dead. I'm - also not sure You want anything as simple as Leareth permanently dead. There were forces at cross-purposes there, weren't there? I think - I think maybe You were looking for a third way." 

"I think - damn it! - I think it's here and You can't see it. Maybe You can't even see that Leareth is already planning to call off the whole invasion! If that's what You wanted, it's done. Except. Except there were plans already in motion, weren't there? And - the prophecies, we saw things happening and made different choices and - You, and all the other gods, probably couldn't see that either, or it would have already been taken into account and we'd have seen something else. Because it's a spell from another world. And if You knew about the other world, You wouldn't be confused about Pharasma." 

"This is such a stupid pointless mess. Piles and piles of Foresight, steering for - gods, steering for Leareth dead forever. Was that the plan since Brightstar was born? The Star-Eyed killed his entire family, not even to drive Valdemar to war, just to - hurt one boy enough that he would, he would -" 

Vanyel sees it. It doesn't hurt. It's bizarre, that it doesn't hurt, it feels wrong, but - he would be flinching away from even having the thought otherwise, wouldn't he. 

"- He was the one in the Heartstone room. Who shielded me out in the vision. He was going to destroy Haven. To...why...to kill Leareth. Because it doesn't matter how powerful or prepared the man is, that would do it, it only makes sense if Leareth is there. I don't have the faintest idea how or why Leareth was there but -"

Another thread, sliding into place.

"- That's why the backup plan was to Final Strike. To power the god-ritual. It would work, if Leareth was there." 

"...Is that what You wanted. A clever twist, right at the end. Forcing Leareth to finding a better way by sticking him with a baby god that would never agree to grow up by killing ten million Valdemarans." 

"Just so you're aware, that plan is also horrible." 

"I just - I don't - I think You didn't know. I think You couldn't know. That plan is incredibly evil, just like k'Treva, but - I'm not sure that You are. Not like the evil gods in Blai's world are. I think - I think maybe You were trying for - something better. The way Leareth is, it's not like he doesn't make plans that are horrible. And maybe, if You, actually knew, what You were doing - "

He's crying now.

"Maybe, just, if You could see the resources you have on the gameboard now, You could steer a way out of this disaster instead of deeper into it. Your first plan isn't going to work now that we know, but - You got us into this, or at least helped, and I don't know that we, the mortals involved, can get out of this on our own." 

"...Also, I think the Star-Eyed set up to kill Yfandes so we wouldn't find out more from Haven in time, but - if You helped, or - let Her - because it would get me to kill myself and yell at You and then You'd know more..." Helpless shrug. "Maybe it's worth it but I'm pretty mad." 

"Do you have the information you need to make your choice?" 

Snort. "Mostly. No thanks to you. I still need to figure out how I can safely go to–"

"- oh. I'm an idiot."

"Yes." 

In Haven, the wind stops blowing for just a moment. 

In the ancient grove by the Companions' Field, a light glows in the shadows for a moment, and fades. 

There are hoof-falls, muffled in the snow and definitely not ringing like bells, but there's still somehow a bell-like quality to them. 

The Companion stallion isn't glowing anymore, by the time he prances delicately out into the field. He's...confused. 

- there's a tug, which resolves one confusion. He starts walking. 

Not the one about why he clearly just walked out of the Grove and yet is definitely not the Groveborn. The Groveborn was never human, for one, and Seldan is....fairly sure he was? Though the confusion about what year it is now would perhaps make more sense if he could manage to dredge up what year it used to be. 

The tug intensifies. He breaks into a trot. Where is his Chosen? Why does he have the feeling that his Chosen is actively in danger, this is Haven and his Chosen is close (though the Call is frustratingly difficult to resolve to a specific place and he's stuck playing a stupid game of 'colder?' 'warmer?' to narrow it down) and even in his lifetime - former lifetime? how long has it been? the memories are blurry but that building is new, so is that one, that one isn't but it looked new when he knew it, not weathered and half-decrepit - the war never reached Haven itself. 

(Though there are increasingly signs that Valdemar is, once again, at war. There are a lot of Guards around, and - is that a temporary Gate-terminus? Why else would you stick two pieces of wood in a random standalone giant doorway?) 

The Call is almost painful now. Where is his Chosen??? 

- apparently, if the 'warmer' 'warmer!' 'hot!!!' feeling is to be believed, in that random Work Room. Currently under guard, for some reason - oh no did his Chosen just try to desert or something - if it was high treason they would probably not be in a random Work Room with one guard - it's very frustrating not even knowing his Chosen's gender let alone their name. 

:Excuse me: he says politely. :I need you to let whoever is in there out.: 

That stallion looks...bigger and scarier, somehow...than the others, even though the Guard (whose name is Roman and who is really quite ready for his supper break, it's freezing out here and it's going to be dark soon, he haaaaates the short days after Midwinter, why are they having a war in the middle of winter again, no one asked him) has been alongside Companions whose necks he couldn't even reach, and this one isn't that huge. Just - imposing. Very very very present. 

Also talking to him directly? They don't do that. 

"I have clear non-discretionary orders to absolutely not let him out," he says. Nervously. Do Companions kick you if they get mad enough.