The court poet of Scandinavia will of course be delighted to tell their guests about Dyre's ancestors. Absolutely delighted. This is her absolutely delighted face.

She recites poetry. She tries to make her delivery good enough that anyone who conquers Akershus in the next few days will remember that it would be a terrible shame to kill her.

The guests are fascinated!

"Your people will not be menaced again by enemy invaders," Sofia assures the Emperor cheerfully. "Vanda Nossëo comes to the defense of all who ask for it."

Well that's inconvenient, but it could be worse. There are ways to work your way up from vassal king to independent emperor, if you're clever enough and sufficiently ambitious. He doesn't see why the situation with Vanda Nossëo should be any different, given the timelines he's working with. At least this means he's not going to lose any more territory to the King of Egypt for a good long while.

"Excellent. We will be most grateful for your protection. I do worry about the Greek states, whose people now bow to an Egyptian king. Four years ago they were one with the rest of the empire, but the Egyptians overwhelmed us."

"That kind of situation is always complicated. Sometimes we can resolve it with generous gifts in exchange for a transfer of sovereignty, and sometimes it's possible to meaningfully hold a referendum. When neither of those are an option we just attempt to enable very quick and easy transportation and communication so if they desire to immigrate here they can, and if they desire to stay they can at least see anyone who they were separated from by the violence."

"We bow to your superior expertise."

"Are there other situations like that which we should be aware of?"

"Countless ones. My chancellor and I would be delighted to explain the whole of Scandinavia's political situation to you in the morning, after the festivities have concluded. I expect he will want to prepare a very orderly presentation, he'll not stand for our guests thinking he's any less than the best in the world at his job."

That should give them time to discuss how they're going to present the important situations tonight; they won't be able to outright lie, given that the wizards are no doubt equally capable of contacting rival powers, but perhaps they can spin the truth enough to earn a highly sympathetic ear.

They seem delighted he's being so reasonable. "We'll look forward to that tomorrow, then. That's always one of the trickiest parts of new contact, that and immigration and emigration, and slavery."

"Slavery?"

"Vanda Nossëo does not permit it. We have all kinds of appealing alternatives, and we can go over them and see which ones suit you best."

"We'd love to hear about them."

Fuck, he's going to have a slave revolt on his hands, he hates those. Almost as bad as the religious fanatics. Or a revolt from wealthy landholders who are pissed that he can't protect their property rights. Either way. Oh, fuck, they're going to object to the concubines too, that sucks. Maybe they permit imprisonment of criminals, if they object so strenuously to execution. Maybe he can do something on that front. He supposes he can probably get by on only women who really want the privilege of being a royal concubine, but it'll be a pain for making sure everyone else gets enough heirs. But it's not like he was going to get to capture any more princesses in the near future anyway.

"Do all the peoples you contact join Vanda Nossëo? I am sure the majority must, given how much you have to offer them."

"Certainly not all of them. Some people have religious objections, many want to maintain their sovereignty, and some simply don't find their preferred style of governance compatible with ours. We are delighted to be a friend and ally to free nations with no affiliation with us, as long as they can work with us on slavery, immigration and emigration, and stable peace."

So the slavery thing is non-negotiable. So go the winds of fortune. He's handled worse.

"I see! We shall have to discuss the future of Scandinavia when we have learned more about your alliance of worlds."

"We'll be delighted!" They enjoy the feast and drink a great deal without seeming to become intoxicated in the slightest and set up his television for him.

The television is honestly pretty cool. He's happy to watch it for an hour or so, then leaves his vassals and his eldest sons to continue observing it, leaving Catherine with instructions to offer more poetry if such is desired. He bids his guests goodnight and then retires to his private chambers, where he calls his councillors and the gydja to him and instructs them as to how they will represent the Empire of Scandinavia and its complicated politics in the morning. They're also going to need to brainstorm ways to prevent the end of slavery from massively disrupting the economy and the favor of his more important subjects. Or anything else important, such as his sex life.

He tucks his favorite children in to bed and kisses his wife goodnight.

Catherine stands by as instructed. The television is pretty cool. She feels like she should have opinions on incredibly powerful foreign wizards but she's mostly trying not to think about it right now.

Sofia would like some more poetry if it happens to be convenient!

It is literally her job. (Well, one of them, but the only one she occasionally likes.)

She'll just give them her version of Beowulf, that's always popular with everyone else. It is far from identical to any existing versions of Beowulf's tale - the lens is neither Christian nor pagan, but determinedly neutral on all moral matters, though it lingers more than usual on the death of Grendel's mother. The lens there is grimly admiring. Ask anyone here and they'll tell you she's as much a hero as Beowulf himself, she just happens to be on the wrong side of the relevant conflict. Unless maybe you get someone very old and very stubborn who prefers whatever version they heard before Catherine got her hands on the story.

These people do not have enough context on the original Beowulf to appreciate whatever this implies about her as a person, but they are sincerely fascinated nonetheless. 

"How does one come to be a court poet?" Sofia asks when she's done.

"Take an interest in poetry and be passable at reciting it, mostly. The emperor likes to have one, but it's not so important that he'll go out of his way."

"Surely in such a large kingdom there must be lots of people who'd like to recite poetry, though?"

"Most of them are farmers," she says, and subtly looks up to see how many people are paying attention to her. Several, given that she only just finished her hours-long story. "Which is to say that most of them have much more important things to do."

"Perhaps more of them will be poets once the crops grow better."

"Perhaps."

"You could perform that anywhere in the universe, you know, it's really very lovely and a lot of people'd want to hear it."