"Wish-granting will be a neat thing to add to the arsenal, although the one to a customer thing is harsh - wonder if space forks count separately -"

"We can hop over to her place and test it as soon as - or has everyone already decided to their satisfaction -"

"They're fine."

"Are we now. Why exactly might we not have been fine...?"

"And how are you sure -"

"The Bell's fine and there's no way a Bell misses an evil Lúthien and she could have ended up mind-controlled by her but I'd have noticed by now and so would you, I think. And Findekáno's fine though that could technically slip in under whatever political system left him the crown prince -"

"Okay. So. Elephant in the room. We found an Arda that is evil for mysterious maybe-it's-all-the-Ainur's-fault reasons."

"...the Arda. Is evil."

"Well, its occupants. Most of them. The Findekáno isn't, there may be other exceptions."

"And this is compared to other Ardas, by most objective measures it's not worse than your typical authoritarian human population, but it's Elves, and Elves are supposed to be adorable and cooperative and harmless."

"Lúthien's not an exception, I'm not an exception. It wasn't really a problem that had occurred to us to worry about until we found it, and now we have to be careful. Congratulations on not being from an evil Arda."

"What is an evil me like or do I not want to know."

"...I have no idea if you want to know," says Golden.

"...also the Noldor explained themselves very persuasively but I wouldn't characterize them as adorable and cooperative and harmless? Did your versions not have the oath and Alqualondë and the burning the ships and the taking human vassals and being very dubious about that -"

"...the human vassals thing not so much? In Space and Shine the orcs got to the humans first, in Elentári Loki adopted them, in Evil Arda things are, y'know, evil... Kib and I showed up in time to avert ship-burning but Elentári had that... I think Evil Arda actually skipped it... oath was present in Space and Elentári and Evil Arda... anyway by adorable and cooperative and harmless we mean that a typical human population under pressure ranging from 'scarcity' to 'boredom' to 'charismatic jerk with a religion' looks awfully evil in an awful hurry, whereas Elves normally require pressure like 'people are dying and we can't help because these assholes are being precious about their fucking boats' to stop being adorable and cooperative and harmless."

"Okay. Then I think your assessment is right - also your alt has terrifying exploding-things powers and could probably explode a lot of things if he was evil -"

"I don't know that that's what he'd do if he were evil, but thank you, good to know. Perhaps you can tell the story from the start for us now?"

"You want Arda context because we're chronologically latest or should I start with Lúthien landing on me?"

"I guess I am also curious how undisrupted Ardas play out over the next four hundred years..."

"Loki landed on the Nolofinwean host on the ice, right? No one landed on us on the Ice. We crossed it. Sun rose. Elenwë didn't make it, Arakáno was killed in an ambush by orcs the first day off, we were pretty furious with you all. We marched on Lake Mithrim.

The Feanorian host left. Left the walls and the houses and some of the supplies and vanished into the surrounding foothills. We weren't quite sure if it was an apology or a trap or sheer cowardice. Woke up the next day to find that they'd started rebuilding walls for themselves on the south side of the lake. I went over to talk with them. Maglor met me. I asked if the King was ashamed to face us. 

Fëanor was dead. Maedhros was "hopefully dead", he said. 

They rebuilt their walls and we healed ourselves from the ice and it took me five years to have a song I was confident would get me into Angband."

"...didn't have a way out?"

"No.

I found him. He was three hundred feet up, chained by one arm to a sheer cliff face. I couldn't fly. He asked me to kill him so I drew my bow and asked Manwë to forgive me and instead he stopped me. Sent a Great Eagle, the ones from Taniquetil, to give me a ride up to him on the cliff face. And I cut him down and I flew back to Mithrim with him."

"Wow, a Vala did a thing. A Vala other than Ulmo, even."

"He could have done it at any point in the preceding fifty years -"

"Elspeth will be able to turn your Valar into something more closely resembling reasonable people."