"I was making a pun on - never mind. Yes, I would have mentioned it."

"Oh, my apologies. I'm not a native english speaker and I'm afraid I missed it."

"Etymologically 'disaster' means 'bad star'. As though a bad omen were present in the stars."

"Ah, that is fitting."

"I thought so. I'm getting hungry, does the maze include instances of the restaurant and if so is it safe to eat there?"

He nods.

"That's where I've been eating. I saw one from the ladder, it's slightly out of our way but we should have time."

"If you think so, but we could also just hope the settlement has food, do remember if we mistime things I cannot run."

"Are you hungry enough that it will slow you down?"

"No. I had lunch."

"It's probably not worth risking then, sorry. I got a good idea of the layout, but I didn't memorize it and we could get turned around trying to find the restaurant."

"Understood."

"So," Kyoya says after a minute, "Any tips on where I should invest if I do get back home?"

"Uh, I have a co-worker who's into something called Bitcoins and claims they've gone up by two thousand percent since he bought some. Google keeps growing."

"Huh. I'd heard of those, but I hadn't expected them to go anywhere.

"They could crash any time where I'm from, but for you it's a better bet than it'd otherwise look like, just cash out before my date I guess."

"You said you were a doctor? Any major advancements in medicine?"

"Yes, I do medical research and public health stuff. Biological cancer therapy's new."

A shape ambles into view.

At first glance, you might mistake it for an employee, but no IKEA employee has ever been this tall and all of IKEA's real employees have faces. 

"They'reonlydangerousatnightright?"

"Yes," he says, stopping to let the creature pass in front of them. He's tense but not visibly afraid. He pulls a small notebook out of his pocket and makes a quick and rough sketch of the creature's bodily proportions. 

"I believe this is the sixth one I've seen, though they're similar enough that it's hard to tell."

"How unprofessional of them not to wear nametags."

"It would make them easier to tell apart. I have no idea how many there actually are."

"I suppose in principle you could tag them while they're harmless."

"I don't know how harmless they are. Touching them might count as provocation and I might not have time to get away."

"I was thinking paintballs but I don't think IKEA sells them."