"Okay, not antimatter. Annnnd we're also looking at a dead end on creating anything with ongoing magical traits of any kind. Otherwise yes."

"Hm. That's useful. Even if you can't make, say, a blessed dagger, you could make herbs required for various spells."

"Yes, although my remark about machine guns will also apply to spell ingredients. Can I interest you in the Library of Alexandria as a consolation prize?"

"Yes. Yes you can."

"Mhm. How specific can you get for making things? If I asked you to give me instructions on how to make an immortality spell for mortals, could you provide them?"

"I can't make information that has never been set to recorded format before - which means no automagical translations, encodings or decodings, circumvention of research, sprouting brand new symphonies out of nothing, etcetera. If you believe such a ritual has been lost, I may be able to get ahold of it depending on how much information you possess about when and by whom."

"No. There are a few things that have been lost, but - I don't believe that's one of them. Unfortunately."

"Sorry. Do you have other angles on that which I could help with? I am interested in helping with that."

"It's all right. I'm not actually sure it's possible. If a spell could grant mortals immortality, I think I'll have to be the one to invent it. And... I'm not completely sure how to manage that."

"I don't suppose I can learn to do your sort of magic in any way."

"No. You have to be a witch. Sorry."

"Long shot."

"Yeah. I'm still getting my magical education caught up. Then I can start figuring out how to make an immortality spell."

"I wish you all the best of luck and if your research interferes with holding down a day job I am willing to take the place of grocery runs as a form of subsidy."

"Witches don't have day jobs," she snorts. "But thank you."

"You're welcome. I wonder if this Earth is like the one I'm familiar with of the same time period except plus witches and soul animals and armored bears. What is the deal with the armored bears?"

"They're sentient talking bears who keep their souls in their armor? They tend to stay far north, and there's not many of them. I haven't met any, I don't know more about them than that."

"Okay. Weird but not immediately relevant, then. Meanwhile: you're speaking American English, maybe with enough of an unfamiliar perhaps-witchy accent that I couldn't tell if you were Canadian but not so much that I think you're British or Australian or that I have landed in Singapore or anything. You appeared to recognize the phrase 'library of Alexandria'. What else have we got? Wikipedia? Zeppelins being unpopular after one exploded? What does the skyline of New York City look like? Do the mortals around here use dollars and persistently fail to get used to attempts to render same as coins in non-fractional denominations? Are bees in trouble? How is the ozone layer doing?"

"We're in America. Near Chicago, if you're curious. Wikipedia exists, zeppelins became unpopular, I - haven't seen New York, but you could probably just get pictures on the internet. Dollars, yes. Bees... I think they're fine? Possibly? And I've heard people mention problems with the ozone layer, but my education is perhaps lacking somewhat."

"How have you been educated, anyway, what is the custom with that for witches living near Chicago?"

"I'm... A bit of a special case. I've been mostly homeschooled, I stopped that when I was - twelve, or so, and then I attended a bit of public school after that. I occasionally still go, but I have no patience for memorizing pointless facts and useless information."

"Not a particularly high-quality public school?"

"Not really. My father was pretty thorough about teaching me, so I'm not lacking in education in, say, math, but I'm somewhat out of touch with the world."

"Right. I want Internet access, and 'stuff' as in 'demons make stuff' does not include 'Internet access'. Help me, O native guide."