The late morning sun shines through the window of a cheap apartment. The floor is covered in sheets of paper, all laid out in neat rows. Sprawled on the floor, asleep among the papers, is a young man of around seventeen years. A bit tieflingish, but only a bit, hair is curly and long enough to hide the little horns from casual observation.
Waking up with a start, nearly knocking over a vial of ink, he starts his morning.
To the vile scribing. He opens up the floorboard, lays out the papers, and picks up his favorite pen. Now, to get into pamphleteering mode.
He stands on a chair, brandishes the pen like a sword, and whispers dramatically, “It is I, the Vile Scribe. You’ve found me at last. But I have one question for you… which part exactly are you bringing me in for writing?”
Scurries to a corner and croaks in a sinister voice. “This Pamphlet Officially Certified By The Seal Of The Ancient Fraternity Of Vile Scribes, that the Scribings therein be most Vile.”
Standing at attention in a mock salute. “First principle of the Vile Scribe. There are to be two characters who announce their names and identities, for the ease of theatrical performance. Second principle of the Vile Scribe. At least one part false, at least one part vile, at least one part funny. Third principle…”
Scribbling. Crumpling paper into balls. Scribbling. Burning papers to hide the evidence. Scribbling. Realizing paper is too expensive to have this many rough drafts. Pacing around reciting a dialog to himself. Holding a hand to his eye to stop it twitching, does that when too much coffee not enough sleep. Scribbling. Reading out loud. Barely muffled giggling. Maniacal laughter but at whispering volume.
Finished copy on the ground, with all the blank papers laid out next to it. Scriveners Chant.
Mercantilia: I am Mercantilia, the honest merchant honestly selling Evil Goods.
Razmir: I am Razmir, the Wizard King of Razmirland.
Mercantilia: I take my ship to Razmirland to buy and sell, for they say the Great Wizard is Evil but Lawful. His Law surely makes a Stable and Orderly place to trade.
Razmir: One would think that, yet Learned Travelers say my rule is Incompetent and Unstable despite my Law and Evil.
Mercantilia: So you have these Learned Travelers buried alive?
Razmir: No, they have Freedom of the Pen. Which means I roll a Die and only bury them alive if it shows a one.
Mercantilia: Truly a most Lawful ruler! This is why I choose to dock my ships full of Skeletal Sugar here.
Razmir: I decree that, upon Next Week, all Skeletal Sugar is to be banned in Razmirland. Not because it is Evil, but out of jealousy towards the Geb of Gebland. Learned Travelers say his Skeletons are wiser than my Wizards so I will attack his Economy.
Mercantilia: I must send my ships full of Skeletal Sugar away before the ban. I am glad the Wizard King, in all his Lawfulness, gave Honest Merchants this warning.
Razmir: I have closed the ports due to Heavy Rain. You cannot send out your ships.
Mercantilia: Are you not a Great Wizard. Can you not use the Weather Spell?
Razmir: I did use the Weather Spell. To make the Heavy Rain. So you cannot send away your Skeletal Sugar before the ban.
Mercantilia: Why did you not just declare sugar illegal a week earlier and keep the ports open?
Razmir: It would be unfair to merchants selling things I don't want to ban.
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