Well, we have a concept of 'love at first sight' whose most conventional form is 'I saw them singing and knew we were meant to be together forever', but my father would stop speaking to me if I claimed to have experienced such a thing. Straight people do not have sex until marriage - they can't, it results in marriage - and the engagement period is one Year and you're not supposed to see each other during that, to make sure you've chosen wisely.

...well, now I'm not sure I'm not glad I didn't show up while still Aly, that sounds like a mess on several levels.

Your intimate life would have to be a good deal less interesting, although it needn't have involved any secrets. Should that go on the info sheets?

Yeah, yeah it should. How exactly does sex result in marriage? This is an alternative nonverbal oath swearing method?

Pretty much. Marriage is - you can tell when two people are married, you can see it in their eyes, and they have osanwë over a much greater range and with some additional nuance and detail. I think there's still a verbal or commitment-affirming component but it's easy enough to do by accident that accidental drunk marriages do happen.

...I can't tell, Kib remarks. Possibly because I don't have my own osanwë.

Huh. Okay, good to know. It's supposed to be very nice, being married, but indecorous to discuss beyond 'you'll know someday' which I will not. My father'd probably happily tell you, since you also presumably won't know someday, if humans don't do that.

We do not. Marriage is supposedly one of the few universal cultural habits but its exact details vary a lot, it boils down to some public acknowledgment that people are together but we have to accomplish that nontelepathically.

I'm not sure that's an advantage.

Depends what one thinks of Mandos, really; anywhere from a convenient teleport out of a bad situation and to safety to, well, I personally really really do not want to die and can't imagine that changing.

I mean, I guess I might get a teleport into a fresh childhood but that seems like a waste of time even compared to how long getting over a nasty experience would take me?

Mandos can do revivals faster than a person grows up, if he's so inclined. But yes. I suppose there's also a deterrence aspect, but it doesn't seem particularly effective there.

Oh, yeah, it's presumably faster for you than me to get up and running again, if my reincarnating wasn't a one-off in the first place.

Let's not find out.

Agreed.

Whether Elves can accidentally marry humans would be very interesting but let's also aspire not to figure that one out.

Well, I'm hardly going to investigate, but when Lári grows up she may be straight, humans often are.

That'll be different. She'll be able to take care of herself and if she wants someone she can very well have them. I was worried about offworld guests.

Yeah, it'll be on the info sheet.

Thank you. That is everything I was of a mind to discuss; is there anything on yours?

I am sort of curious if not taking turns is a sideways thing or an experimentally acquired personal taste.

Huh. The fact that I'm not assigning that significance to it doesn't wreck the mood or anything?

Did I seem to have trouble staying in the mood?