"That's good! It's possible I could use something like that, I trip more than any human should. On the other hand, I have the fine motor control necessary to make an origami swan out of cardboard, so maybe it's just bad luck."

"I don't know how to make more, but I am going to ask my parents for magic textbooks, so maybe in this nice friendly science world I could eventually figure it out."

"Ooh, alternate universe magic textbooks. Betcha the Mystic Arts staff will want copies, they're crazy about new stuff."

"I'm asking for a lot of books so they'll have to be copied locally lest my parents not be able to make rent, but sure, I don't mind."

"We can do that, we've got plenty of sciencey ways to copy books."

They arrive at Schuster Hall. Morty ushers Bella inside, then gestures her towards a secretary. The secretary looks up and says "Ah, are you Bella?"

"That's me!"

The lady rummages around in a drawer, then hands Bella a small stack of papers attached to a clipboard. "Just fill these out and we can get you all set up."

Some of the questions on the forms are relatively normal (name, age, blood type, sexuality, a broad selection of genders), while some are less normal (date of manifestation, list of powers [tentative], alterations to body by mutation). "Some of these won't apply to you," the woman says, "being that you're not a mutant. Just fill out what you can."

Bella is named Isabella Mariel Swan and she's 19 and straight and female and doesn't know her blood type or what a blood type is. She provides the date she was diagnosed with subtle artistry in the Pax calendar but assumes this will not be very helpful and lists her powers as "7/10 subtle arts, 101 level arcana" and her alterations to body as "none".

The secretary takes the form back and nods. "We can get your blood type from the medical exam, no trouble. I've got no idea what the powers mean, but I'm not a powers testing type, am I."

She fiddles with a machine on her desk, which spits out an ID card for Isabella Mariel Swan complete with a photograph that was never taken of her. She hands this to Bella, along with a laptop, another card with some silvery heraldry on the front - "that's a debit card for monetary needs, you've got a generous stipend since we accidentally summoned you" - and a thick Student Handbook. "There we have it, you're good to go. Mortimer, are you providing the tour?"

"Yes ma'am."

"I'll open the Homer Gallery for you, then."

The wall of a small nook opens, revealing a set of stairs leading downwards.

"Ooh, secret tunnel. How does the debit card work? I assume it debits something into which money has been put, but how do I use it?"

"There'll be a card reader at most establishments, you just let them scan it and that's that."

Morty shows her down the stairs into the Homer Gallery, which contains a large painting of a patrician man standing next to a weird-looking bust, a large pile of gold bullion, several strange devices behind glass, and a few wax figures wearing brightly colored costumes. "Welcome to the Homer Gallery! You have absolutely none of the cultural context required to find any of this impressive except maybe the gold, but we are contractually required to show it to you anyway! Especially the painting of Lord Paramount, who made himself ruler of a small country in Eastern Europe by singlehanded mutant strength and thinks you should find this very impressive."

"It does sound very impressive but not necessarily positively!"

"Yeah, same. But he was one of the founding members of the Academy, and he's part of why they're able to take in the children of supervillains, which is I think a good thing, and also he's donated a ton of cash. Still though. Any questions about anything else?"

"What are the things behind the glass?"

"Uh, let's see. This one is Professor Ripper's Quasar Gun, it shoots highly destructive bolts of plasma at incredible rates. This one is the Tartarus Projector, which traps its target in a bubble outside conventional time and space forever, or probably actually until they die of thirst, which takes like three days. And these are the dowsing rods used by Ideomotor to diagnose mutant powers back when the Academy was first founded. The weapons are trophies various superheroes took in battle from defeated enemies, which is, uh, kind of barbaric? But also kind of cool."

"Is that just... normal glass?"

"No. It's really strong. Some really high-tier mutants could break it, but also this place is really well fortified and locks from the outside really comprehensively. Also it's right under Mrs. Carson's office, and she can kick the ass of basically anybody in the world. It would be a phenomenally bad idea to try to take any of this stuff."

"Okay, good!"

"And now for the rest of the tour!"

Morty leads Bella around the campus, pointing out the various cottage-dorms and classroom buildings, as well as the arena, library, and campus store.

"Where am I staying?"

"You'll probably be in either Dickinson or Melville, check your ID card?"

Check.

Melville!

"Nice. Melville's the newest and fanciest of the dorms, a lot of kids whose parents are donors to the school mysteriously end up housed there. So they can be kind of snotty, but some of them are cool."

"How mysterious. Why am I there?"

"I summoned you from your home world without permission or warning and you could reasonably sue the school for negligence, so they're being as nice as possible to avoid that. We live in a very litigious society."