Planes aren't sci-fi. You just literally summoned me from one.

He waves a hand. Yeah, but they still sound like it. American culture's pretty new to magic and mutants and shit, all that's still sci-fi as all hell. He looks thoughtful. You'd think a hundred years would be enough to get used to that kind of thing, but that's humans for you, I guess.

Oh, yeah, alternate universe. Nobody really knows what happened, but about a hundred years back folks started cropping up with Powers That Science Could Not Explain*. So now you get psychics, blasters, wizards, Devisors... But when you haven't had that kind of stuff for the rest of your history it still seems kinda fake. Like, my roommate is literally full of dog ghosts. And he's growing extra nipples. The fuck is up with that, right?

*The communication of unnecessary capitalization through telepathy may or may not be one of these.

Morty's brow furrows. You could say that, I guess. Is yours just kinda normal? Apart from the, uh, telepathy.

The telepathy is normal! I'm a subtle artist!

Morty holds up his hands, laughing. Don't get me wrong, it's cool! We've got psychics too! It's just they all popped up after the Weirdness Threshold went down, so I put them in with the rest of the Weird. Normal is, like, accountants, not wizards and telepaths.

Wizards are normal too! What's this about 'science could not explain'? Why were you expecting science to explain wizards?

Um. Well, science is using the fact that most things work in basically the same way to figure out how our world is set up, right? And we'd been using it for a really long time, so we had most of the rules figured out. But then there's all these wizards, and they're turning teacups into frogs and shit, and it doesn't work in the same way as anything else. (Or at least it didn't seem to at the time, the really advanced physicists and theoretical gadgeteers are making some headway on making mutant powers make some damn sense in the context of the rest of everything. More power to them, I guess.)* But we hadn't really run into anything science Could Not Explain before then. So it was kind of fucked-up.

*Mortimer Halliwell is not aware of his ability to think in parentheses, or for that matter footnotes. It probably wouldn't surprise him, though.

I'm in some kind of crazy science fantasy universe that finally got fed up with you. Great.

Morty looks slightly affronted!

Science still works, you know. We thought lightning was God throwing spears at us for thousands of years, and now we make it in our houses and use it instead of candles. Just because there's some hocus-pocus we can't account for yet doesn't mean it can't be accounted for.

So yours is more patient than mine and likes killing you less, sure, but it definitely sounds like it got tired of you having such an easy time of it with the starting rules and decided to jazz it up to keep you on your toes.

I-

He thinks for a moment.

I can't actually dispute that. But it's being pretty nice about it, if so. There's mutations that are literally "be good at science," so I don't think it's trying to discourage us too hard. If mutants are the world fucking with us, I don't mind its style too much.

What a friendly universe you have.

It's pretty nice, honestly. He pats the floor. Thanks, universe. You just keep doing what you're doing.

...It can't hear me, Morty feels the need to clarify. I'm being facetious.

I figured. So, what gets done with me?

Morty sobers somewhat. Yes, that. Um, I don't know exactly, but I think you get put back as soon as they can manage, and... I think you get a gift basket of advanced medical technology? Or comparable magical or technological goodies. Except if you'd rather stay they'll let you immigrate and give you a bunch of apology money to start living with. They like to stress the "we're very sorry you got kidnapped, here's free stuff" angle.

I can't bring medical technology home!

...How d'you mean?

My universe isn't as friendly as yours. It doesn't hold with understanding things through the power of science or any of that sci-fantasy wishful thinking. If I bring home science fantasy technology of any kind I will be lucky if the only thing that happens is it all spontaneously melts.

Morty is speechless. Or, in this case, thoughtless. Although that's nothing new.

He's really mad, though. At what is unclear.